Status: Semi-active. :]
All the Time I Can Steal
Starbucks.
I was sitting on the back bumper of our van, and I let out the drag of my cigarette. I re-read the letter. I couldn’t believe that she had held so much back. I hadn’t seen Bridgette in a year and a half. When I had come back from that tour, I wanted to apologize. Apologize for being such a dick. But all of her stuff was gone. And there was a note on the counter. A note which I kept in my wallet ever since I had obtained it.
David,
You thought we couldn’t make it. So we aren’t. I’m going away to college, and I can’t…I can’t stay here in Denver. Goodbye. ~ Bee.
And she had sprayed it with her body spray. I knew where she was now. Sorta. But Boulder was a start. And this WAS Warped. She’d probably come and if not, well I’m sure I could recruit Sean and Nat to help me get to her. I was still zoned out when I saw the tall scrawny figure running towards me.
“Quick question. Is Bee the girl whose picture is in your wallet and in your van?” I nodded, taking another drag. “She’s here.” I dropped my cigarette, and he nodded. “C’mon hurry. I think she saw that you were here and is trying to leave.” I slipped on a pair of sunglasses and followed the lanky body until I spied Bridgette. She looked up, and her eyes widened. Her eyes went from my face, to the letter in my hand, back to my face. She walked silently up to me, and then past. When I didn’t follow she merely stopped walking, and when I was next to her, we continued our trek. She was soon following me, and we were back at the van. I opened the back two doors, and she sat down inside, while leaving her legs outside.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Bee.” she didn’t say anything. The silence between us was excruciating. She finally looked over, and removed the frames that were hiding her beautiful chocolate brown orbs. She bit her lip and sighed. “It’s the past, David. It doesn’t matter anymore.” I shook my head, and she didn’t change her expression. “That’s where you’re wrong. I…I regret every day what I did. And what I didn’t do. I just…I was scared.” Again she shrugged. “I want to show you that I’m sorry.”
“How can you do that? You can’t just magically change the fact you doubted that you may not love me. Do you know how bad that fucking hurt, David? Do you even have a fucking clue?” I shook my head no. “And as for trying to call me, one fucking time doesn’t count, so don’t try that pitch.” I sighed and reached out and touched her bare shoulder. “What do you want me to do?” she shrugged, but not hard enough for it to make my hand fall off. “I don’t know. Look, I gotta go. I’m filling in as merch girl for 3OH!3. Nat’s girlfriend’s cousin is my roommate and we promised we’d watch the booth for a while so she and Nat can have some time together. And Nat and Sean apparently want me to spend the rest of tour with them. Abby also. But I probably can’t.” I looked at her and bit my lip.
“Can I ask you something?” she nodded, as she slipped her frames back over her gorgeous eyes. “Why? Why are you here? I mean…this is…this isn’t exactly your stomping grounds.” She half smiled, “I was bribed to come here with Abby and Jess.” She then turned on her heel and walked away, the dry Phoenix air, making her blonde hair move. I shook my head and sighed, running my hand through my hair. I lit another cigarette and shut the van doors. I walked back to the grounds, and took some pictures with fans, as I tried to make my way to our merch booth. Kyle was sitting and she shot me a sympathetic look.
We took pictures with fans and signed autographs. I got up and wandered over to 3OH!3’s table and brought a blue PowerAde to Bee. She looked up and forced a smile. A brunette looked at me and smiled, “Hey. You’re David, right?” I nodded and she smiled again. “Nice to meet you. I’m Abby, Jess’s cousin.” I nodded. I set the PowerAde in front of Bee, and then walked away. I heard Abby whisper something to Bee, but I didn’t catch what it was.
That night, we were all hanging out, eating the catering and drinking. There was a dance mix blaring from speakers and a few of us were dancing. I saw Bee get handed a beer, and she forced a smile. I shook my head and picked up a Smirnoff, and brought it to her. “Here.” She looked up and then down to the bottle in my hand. I took the beer from hers and replaced it. “Thanks.” She said softly. I nodded and then walked away. I heard Abby say something to Bee and then I heard footsteps behind me. I turned and saw the brunette. “Oh.” I said softly. She gave me a soft smile, and said, “Sorry. But…I need to talk to you.”
We walked and then stopped, leaning against the fence. “Bee....” she started and then sighed, “Bee wishes that she could face and forgive you.” I shrugged, “She tell you that?” she bit her lip and shook her head, “No. But she sometimes says your name in her sleep. She has since we’ve been living together. And that’s been for about a year and a half.” She looked at me like I should say something. “She told me about you two. And how much she had gotten over you.” She paused, “But she hasn’t. I don’t think she ever will. You don’t get over a love like that.”
“What are you trying to accomplish with this?” I asked, suddenly. I didn’t want to hear this. If Bee didn’t want to be with me, then she didn’t want to be with me. She sighed, “I want to see Bee happy. I’ve never really seen her truly happy. But in pictures…in pictures of you and her…she radiates happiness.” I sighed, and lit a cigarette. I took a drag and then slowly let it out. “What am I supposed to do?” she bit her lip, “Leave that up to me. I’ll help.” I nodded and she walked away.
I sighed, and finished my cigarette, then walked back to the party. I looked over at Bee, and I saw the fire dancing on her skin. Her brown eyes were reflecting the firelight, and I couldn’t help the slight smile tugging at my lips. Hours later, I walked back to our Van, getting ready to head to the next town. As I laid down in the backseat- getting there before the rest of my band I was able to claim a whole seat to myself-I pulled out a picture of us. We were at a party. A drink was in each of our hands, and her smile was radiant. She was wearing one of my shirts that she had cut the neckline out of and it was off of one shoulder. She had on a pair of acid washed, destroyed skinny jeans, and heeled boots on her feet. I was wearing a navy blue v-neck, and the leather jacket she had given me. My feet were clad in worn out vans, and a pair of worn out black skinny jeans adorned my legs.
I remember exactly what we were doing before the picture was taken. We were talking about how excited we were about my tour. She was going to miss me, but she was so happy that I was living my dream. She had just told me that she loved me. We had been together for two and a half years, and she finally said she loved me. I felt so elated. Granted we had been having sex for the past two years, and lived together, but to finally hear her say those words to me, made my life. We were swaying to the music; me standing behind her, my arms around her waist, my hand on the opposite hips, and my mouth was by her ear. I had whispered, “I love you too.” That’s why her cheeks were so red. And then, Amie told us to smile, and snapped the picture. Later on, she had printed out copies and gave them to both Bee and myself.
I sighed, closing my eyes, and falling asleep.
I woke up and we were in New Mexico. We stopped at a Starbucks, and the 3OH!3 bus was in the parking lot. I walked inside and stood in line to get my coffee. I stood in line and spied her blonde hair at the front. Her voice was coated in sleepiness.
“Java Chip Frappechino, Grande.”
“Name?”
“Bee.”
“Like B-E-E?” she nodded, and then Bee paid. When she turned, her deep brown orbs met my lighter brown ones. She looked down, and then the guy behind her laced his fingers with hers. She half smiled and they walked over to the bar. I sighed and then got out of line, no longer in the mood for a coffee. “David! David wait!” I turned and there was Abby.
“What do you want?” I said. It came out harsher than I wanted it to.
“Look…I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that Matt would come out. He’s supposed to be away on some major school trip. He…he’s not right for her.”
“Then why is she with him?”
“He…he just makes her feel somewhat wanted. But she’s told me herself that she didn’t see it lasting.” I shook my head,
“She should be happy. So if that’s what he does, then I’m happy.” With that, I turned on my heel and headed back to my van.
David,
You thought we couldn’t make it. So we aren’t. I’m going away to college, and I can’t…I can’t stay here in Denver. Goodbye. ~ Bee.
And she had sprayed it with her body spray. I knew where she was now. Sorta. But Boulder was a start. And this WAS Warped. She’d probably come and if not, well I’m sure I could recruit Sean and Nat to help me get to her. I was still zoned out when I saw the tall scrawny figure running towards me.
“Quick question. Is Bee the girl whose picture is in your wallet and in your van?” I nodded, taking another drag. “She’s here.” I dropped my cigarette, and he nodded. “C’mon hurry. I think she saw that you were here and is trying to leave.” I slipped on a pair of sunglasses and followed the lanky body until I spied Bridgette. She looked up, and her eyes widened. Her eyes went from my face, to the letter in my hand, back to my face. She walked silently up to me, and then past. When I didn’t follow she merely stopped walking, and when I was next to her, we continued our trek. She was soon following me, and we were back at the van. I opened the back two doors, and she sat down inside, while leaving her legs outside.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Bee.” she didn’t say anything. The silence between us was excruciating. She finally looked over, and removed the frames that were hiding her beautiful chocolate brown orbs. She bit her lip and sighed. “It’s the past, David. It doesn’t matter anymore.” I shook my head, and she didn’t change her expression. “That’s where you’re wrong. I…I regret every day what I did. And what I didn’t do. I just…I was scared.” Again she shrugged. “I want to show you that I’m sorry.”
“How can you do that? You can’t just magically change the fact you doubted that you may not love me. Do you know how bad that fucking hurt, David? Do you even have a fucking clue?” I shook my head no. “And as for trying to call me, one fucking time doesn’t count, so don’t try that pitch.” I sighed and reached out and touched her bare shoulder. “What do you want me to do?” she shrugged, but not hard enough for it to make my hand fall off. “I don’t know. Look, I gotta go. I’m filling in as merch girl for 3OH!3. Nat’s girlfriend’s cousin is my roommate and we promised we’d watch the booth for a while so she and Nat can have some time together. And Nat and Sean apparently want me to spend the rest of tour with them. Abby also. But I probably can’t.” I looked at her and bit my lip.
“Can I ask you something?” she nodded, as she slipped her frames back over her gorgeous eyes. “Why? Why are you here? I mean…this is…this isn’t exactly your stomping grounds.” She half smiled, “I was bribed to come here with Abby and Jess.” She then turned on her heel and walked away, the dry Phoenix air, making her blonde hair move. I shook my head and sighed, running my hand through my hair. I lit another cigarette and shut the van doors. I walked back to the grounds, and took some pictures with fans, as I tried to make my way to our merch booth. Kyle was sitting and she shot me a sympathetic look.
We took pictures with fans and signed autographs. I got up and wandered over to 3OH!3’s table and brought a blue PowerAde to Bee. She looked up and forced a smile. A brunette looked at me and smiled, “Hey. You’re David, right?” I nodded and she smiled again. “Nice to meet you. I’m Abby, Jess’s cousin.” I nodded. I set the PowerAde in front of Bee, and then walked away. I heard Abby whisper something to Bee, but I didn’t catch what it was.
That night, we were all hanging out, eating the catering and drinking. There was a dance mix blaring from speakers and a few of us were dancing. I saw Bee get handed a beer, and she forced a smile. I shook my head and picked up a Smirnoff, and brought it to her. “Here.” She looked up and then down to the bottle in my hand. I took the beer from hers and replaced it. “Thanks.” She said softly. I nodded and then walked away. I heard Abby say something to Bee and then I heard footsteps behind me. I turned and saw the brunette. “Oh.” I said softly. She gave me a soft smile, and said, “Sorry. But…I need to talk to you.”
We walked and then stopped, leaning against the fence. “Bee....” she started and then sighed, “Bee wishes that she could face and forgive you.” I shrugged, “She tell you that?” she bit her lip and shook her head, “No. But she sometimes says your name in her sleep. She has since we’ve been living together. And that’s been for about a year and a half.” She looked at me like I should say something. “She told me about you two. And how much she had gotten over you.” She paused, “But she hasn’t. I don’t think she ever will. You don’t get over a love like that.”
“What are you trying to accomplish with this?” I asked, suddenly. I didn’t want to hear this. If Bee didn’t want to be with me, then she didn’t want to be with me. She sighed, “I want to see Bee happy. I’ve never really seen her truly happy. But in pictures…in pictures of you and her…she radiates happiness.” I sighed, and lit a cigarette. I took a drag and then slowly let it out. “What am I supposed to do?” she bit her lip, “Leave that up to me. I’ll help.” I nodded and she walked away.
I sighed, and finished my cigarette, then walked back to the party. I looked over at Bee, and I saw the fire dancing on her skin. Her brown eyes were reflecting the firelight, and I couldn’t help the slight smile tugging at my lips. Hours later, I walked back to our Van, getting ready to head to the next town. As I laid down in the backseat- getting there before the rest of my band I was able to claim a whole seat to myself-I pulled out a picture of us. We were at a party. A drink was in each of our hands, and her smile was radiant. She was wearing one of my shirts that she had cut the neckline out of and it was off of one shoulder. She had on a pair of acid washed, destroyed skinny jeans, and heeled boots on her feet. I was wearing a navy blue v-neck, and the leather jacket she had given me. My feet were clad in worn out vans, and a pair of worn out black skinny jeans adorned my legs.
I remember exactly what we were doing before the picture was taken. We were talking about how excited we were about my tour. She was going to miss me, but she was so happy that I was living my dream. She had just told me that she loved me. We had been together for two and a half years, and she finally said she loved me. I felt so elated. Granted we had been having sex for the past two years, and lived together, but to finally hear her say those words to me, made my life. We were swaying to the music; me standing behind her, my arms around her waist, my hand on the opposite hips, and my mouth was by her ear. I had whispered, “I love you too.” That’s why her cheeks were so red. And then, Amie told us to smile, and snapped the picture. Later on, she had printed out copies and gave them to both Bee and myself.
I sighed, closing my eyes, and falling asleep.
I woke up and we were in New Mexico. We stopped at a Starbucks, and the 3OH!3 bus was in the parking lot. I walked inside and stood in line to get my coffee. I stood in line and spied her blonde hair at the front. Her voice was coated in sleepiness.
“Java Chip Frappechino, Grande.”
“Name?”
“Bee.”
“Like B-E-E?” she nodded, and then Bee paid. When she turned, her deep brown orbs met my lighter brown ones. She looked down, and then the guy behind her laced his fingers with hers. She half smiled and they walked over to the bar. I sighed and then got out of line, no longer in the mood for a coffee. “David! David wait!” I turned and there was Abby.
“What do you want?” I said. It came out harsher than I wanted it to.
“Look…I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that Matt would come out. He’s supposed to be away on some major school trip. He…he’s not right for her.”
“Then why is she with him?”
“He…he just makes her feel somewhat wanted. But she’s told me herself that she didn’t see it lasting.” I shook my head,
“She should be happy. So if that’s what he does, then I’m happy.” With that, I turned on my heel and headed back to my van.
♠ ♠ ♠
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