Anger=Love

“So?” he stood in-front of me, crossing his arms, staring me down, daring me to talk.
“Uncle Sam-“I was choking on my own words. Would he believe me? Would he help me? I couldn’t stay like this on my own. It’s starting to drive me insane. Living with the guilt.
“Why did you come here? You know you’re not supposed to be here. Do you know what they’d-“
“No, I wouldn’t, I need your help Uncle Sam, please. I can’t take it, every time I think about it, I get so pissed. And it just happens! I can’t control it!”
“Catharine, what are you talking about?”
“I did it! I didn’t mean to! I killed them Sam! I killed them.” I choked out, collapsing to the floor, hugging my knees in, letting it all finally come out. All that anger, all the sadness, all came out into tears.

Sam knelt down beside me, pulling me into his embrace. Attempting to comfort me.
“Catharine, how’d you kill them?”
“Damn Quileute genes.” I said.
I felt him stiffen at my words.
“You-“
“Yeah, that’s why I came to you Uncle Sam. Everyone always talks so highly of you. Like you’re a saint, but if you listen in between the story lines, it’s not so hard to find it to remarkably true. Like if you were a wolf. Right?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
We sat in silence for a while. Just taking in everything. Me appearing out of nowhere, my parents, his brother and sister-in-law’s death, and another Quileute.

“Well, you’re staying here, that’s that. Plus, now Emily saw you I don’t think she’s ever let you leave.”
I let out a slight chuckle.
“You know we have to tell the others right Catharine?”
“Yeah, but there’s something else. When it happened, and I ran away, I met another pack. They took me in, and I never told them I left. But I guess they figured.”
”Wait, so there’s more wolves out there? You’re already in a pack?”
“You could say that, I guess I’m more like a Nomad that found a temporary home you could say.”

He stood up and walked back into the kitchen, I heard an assortment of noises of clanks and scratching. Sam walked back in and pulled me up by my hands.
“Come on.” He said.
I followed him back into the kitchen. All the boys still around the table, with Emily at the counter eating. Except there was one empty spot at the table with a plate filled with chicken and mashed potatoes piled high, soaked with gravy.

“Even though your already part of another pack, you’re still my lil’niece and, there’ll always be a spot for you.”

“Why do I feel like I’m missing something huge just happened?” Embry asked looking confused.

“Dude, we heard them from the other room, it’s right there!” Quil stated.

“Oh that’s right. I thought we missed something else. Like if he told her that Paul im-“

“Quil.” Sam warned.

“Sorry, sorry geez, you no he’s not going to have the balls to say-“
Everyone stopped in silence listening to vibrations going throughout the table. The dishes shaking and a single glass falling over the edge onto the floor.
I turned my eyes to the source, Paul. He was shaking violently staring down at Quil. My eyes were wide with worry. I didn’t no what to do.

“Paul, calm down!”
His shaking wouldn’t stop. Growling started to appear.
Sam and Jacob were trying to pull him out of the house, away from everyone. He was phasing, nice going Quil.

I turn my head and stare at Quil.
“What the hell was that about?”

“Um, well, you see, I guess its not my place to say.”
I let out a very frustrated sigh, and plopped down into the seat. I started eating the potatoes, devouring the flavor down my throat.

Still in the silence every one was staring at me. I look up from my plate, and my eyebrows meet together.
“What?”

“Well, we heard you and Sam. So you’re a- shifter too?” Embry asked
“Yeah.”
“So, you’re going to be patrolling now.”
“No, I don’t know. I’m already part of a pack I guess.”
“How long are you going to stay?” Jacob asked tensely.
“I don’t know, why does it matter? And what’s up with all these questions?”
“Just curious. Don’t want him to get hurt.” He mumbled the last part. Thinking I couldn’t hear him, but I did loud and clear.

I got up and ran out the door out to the woods. Tired of all these things going on in and out of my head. The guilt, the worry, mostly about Paul. Why did I care so much? Why did it matter? Why did he matter?
All my questions were going to be answered. And sooner than I thought.