Goodbye

A soft finger stroked the bridge of my nose, bringing me to a reality I joyously welcomed.

"Good morning," I greeted with my eyes shut and a smile on my face.

"Morning," my husband's familiar accented voice replied.

My eyes opened and I met his still bright blue eyes.

"I love it when you wake me up like that, Danny," I stated, scooting closer to him.

Danny placed his arm around me and let me cuddle with him. "I've woken you up the same way for thirty years, love."

"And I love it," I repeated.

He chuckled and kissed my cheek, not caring that it was no longer the same smooth cheek he kissed when we were younger.

"We have a big day today," Danny reminded me. "We need to get a move on."

I sighed and stared at my husband's wrinkled face, "Even at sixty-three, you're still ready to start the day immdediately."

"It comes with being a rockstar," he grinned. "You still want to sleep in."

"Yeah, but my bladder never lets me," I joked, climbing out of bed and heading to the bathroom.

Danny laughed when I shut the door, causing me to roll my eyes, but continue with my business.

When I came out of the bathroom feeling refreshed, I began to get ready for the day seeing that Danny was no longer in our bedroom.

Several minutes later I walked to the kitchen to find Danny watching his coffee brew and rubbing his chest absent-minded.

"Are you alright, Danny?" I asked, clearly worried.

"What? Oh... Yeah. I'm fine," he replied, putting his hand at his side.

I frowned, "You know if you're feeling bad, you should stay home."

"And miss our youngest son's wedding? No way. I'll be fine."

I wasn't very pleased with his reply, but I let it go and made me some breakfast.

I expected to see my son's future wife glowing when Danny and I reached they wedding's location; he with Thomas and I was to be with the bride, Ashley. Instead, I was met by a very upset and anxious girl that reminded me of myself on my wedding day.

"Ashley," I called. "Come with me."

She obeyed and followed me to her dressing room.

"What is it?" she asked.

I smiled, "I know that you're upset about not seeing Thomas until the wedding, but I can promise you that it will be magical when you see him standing in front of you."

Ashley blushed, "Am I that obvious?"

"Only if one has felt the very same on their own wedding day," I answered.

"You felt upset, too?" Ashley asked, instantly catching on.

"Honestly, who wouldn't? But adding Nathan into the mix and a three year separation from each other... it made the day unbearable for me."

My future daughter-in-law's eyes glittered, "What was it like when the two of you were alone?"

I chuckled, "It was tense because of our raging hormones, but it was peaceful when we were alone. It did help that we were on a beach with the sun setting on the horizon. It was beautiful."

"That's is so romantic!" Ashley squealed. "No wonder you two are so sweet on each other!"

My pale wrinkled cheeks turned pink at her statement, "I guess that's a part of it."

Ashley giggled and rubbed my arm.

Suddenly, the room's door swung open and Nathan stood there in panic.

"Something's wrong with Dad," he announced.

Immediately I rushed towards Nathan, he taking my hand, and we both scurried to my Danny.

A large crowd of family surrounded the doorway I assumed Danny was through, but we pushed past them.

Both of my daughters, Stephanie and Addison, plus my other son, Thomas, surrounded Danny who was resting in a chair. He looked in pain.

"Danny!" I exclaimed, moving faster than a fifty-eight year old should to his side.

"He was fine until a few minutes ago when he leaned against the wall out of breath. We sat him down and he hasn't been able to move since," Thomas told me.

"Did you call the hospital?"

"Stephanie did. They're on their way."

I nodded and took Danny's face in my hands.

"You're going to be alright, okay?"

He met my stare and nodded, but grimaced and grabbed for his chest.

I began to panic and I grabbed his free hand, holding it to my chest.

"You're going to be alright," I whispered as tears of fear ran down my face. "I won't leave you."

In minutes we heard sirens from the approaching ambulance and we were slightly relieved, but Danny was worsening.

The crowd split to let the EMT's through and we as a family watched them strap Danny to the gurney in a hurry.

When they rolled him out, I followed, but Nathan stopped me.

"I'll go with him. You and Thomas post-pone with wedding and head over, okay?"

"But I can't-"

"Mom, he'll be okay. I'll make sure he gets to the hospital safely."

Defeated, I let Nathan go and went over to my other son.

Thomas put his arms around me, "He'll be okay, Mom. He'll be okay."

I sniffled, "I hope so."

The crowd quickly began disappearing and I sighed.

"We're going to have to post-pone the wedding," I frowned.

"I know and that's alright. We can wait until Dad's better."

Nodding, I pulled away from my son, "Let's go announce it."

I heard the siren of the ambulance once more and I instantly began crying again.

"No, Mom. You're a wreck. You stay here and I'll tell everyone. We'll head to the hospital then."

I nodded, afraid to open my mouth, and sat down in the chair Danny previously occupied.

Stephanie and Addison came to my side and each took one of my hands. Both of them repeated that Danny was going to be alright, but it didn't keep my tears at bay.

The rest of the Jones family arrived at the hospital minutes after Danny was rolled away to ICU. Nathan met us in the waiting room and immediately told us what he knew.

"Dad had a heart attack on the way over and it was pretty bad. They're working on him now in hopes that his heart with start working right again..." Nathan trailed off.

"There's something else," Addison frowned, waiting for Nathan to continue.

He sighed, his own eyes welling up, "They say it's not looking good."

I collapsed in a chair and instantly started crying.

Each child came to my side and all hugged me tightly, all of them beginning to cry.

In the midst of our sorrow, the doctor came out and he interrupted us.

"We... We couldn't do anything for him... He doesn't have much longer... I'm so sorry..." the doctor announced, visibly heartbroken for us.

"Can we see him?" Nathan asked.

"I only think he can handle one at a time if any."

All four children looked at me.

I shook my head, "He's your father."

"Mom, he's your husband and you love him more than anything. You go," Nathan said. "He needs you the most."

Standing, I nodded and wiped my eyes. "I'll be back soon."

The doctor led me to Danny's room and when I entered, he closed the door behind me.

I looked at all the machines and remembered when my grandmother was in the hospital for her heart surgery. I remembered how sweet Danny was to me when he tried to comfort me. It brought more tears to my eyes.

Grabbing Danny's hand, I studied him through watery eyes.

His eyes were closed and he looked ghostly to me. His breathing was ragged and his irregular heartbeat filled the silence in the room.

"Danny," I whispered, "Please don't go. How am I supposed to wake up in the morning if you're not there to wake me?"

Of course I didn't expect an answer from him, but it didn't matter.

Carefully and slowly, I climbed into the hospital bed as best I could and I stroked his white cheek. I put my forehead to his temple and put my free hand on the other side of his face.

"I love you," I whispered, kissing his cheek.

I pulled my head away and I was shocked to find Danny's eyes opened and looking at me.

His head fell to the side and he tried to say something, but with his heart failing, it was too painful. Instead he mouthed to me, "I love you, too," weakly.

A sad smile appeared on my face and I leaned forward to give him a long, soft kiss.

I heard the heart monitor slow and the moment I pulled away, a long and dull beep filled the room.

My tears fell faster and I hugged my still Danny as best I could before the doctor and a nurse rushed and helped me out of the bed.

They made me leave and I walked back to my children in a daze, tears rolling down my cheeks.

Once I reached my children, I let out a strangled sob and fell into Nathan's arms. I continuously repeated that he was gone and I could barely stand.

I didn't hear Nathan ask Thomas to stay with Stephanie and Addison, nor did I realize Nathan lead me out to Thomas's car.

"I'm taking you home, Mom. Thomas is calling Harry to see if he can stay with you tonight, alright?"

I nodded, though I didn't understand what he was saying to me.

Sooner than I expected, Nathan pulled up to my house where Harry was waiting for me.

Harry and Nathan got me out of the car and led me inside. They set me on the couch, Harry sitting beside me and pulling me into a hug.

Nathan ran upstairs and when he came back, he brought with him a familiar stuffed penguin and a blanket I knew to be Danny's.

He wrapped the blanket around my shoulders and gave me the stuffed animal before kissing the top of my head and thanking Harry.

When he left, Harry tried his best to calm me down and all the while, he kept hugging me.

That sad night, I fell asleep in Harry's arms, Danny's blanket surrounding me in memories, and the stuffed penguin held tightly in my arms as my tears dried on my face.

My Danny was gone and I was a lost child without him.