Habitat For Humility

It was a dreary day in New Orleans as the alarm clock broke the peaceful mood. Unwillingly Adrienne pushed back the covers, prizing the heavy arm from her waist. She sat up, rubbing her eyes as she switched on the bedside lamp. Gently she teased the sheets from around her sleeping husband and kissed his cheek. "Billie...Billie Joe, wake up."

"Wassa time?" He yawned, stretching his arms above his head managing to get the index finger and thumb of his right hand caught in his tangled hair.

"'bout 5"

"So it's, like, 3 o'clock at home?" His tired brain struggling to comprehend the time.

"I dunno. C'mon." She began to rummage in a suitcase on the floor pulling out jeans and T-shirts, flinging them behind her. "Where's my stuff?"

"In your bag...over there" Billie Joe replied, standing up then pointing towards a bag sporting an explosion of colored flowers that looked ridiculously out of place. "Your case is full of clothes for the boys, remember?"

Quickly Adrienne gathered together some of her clothes, pecked Billie on the nose and opened the door to the en-suite bathroom. "Go wake them up. Their clothes are all ready." she instructed.

"Shower?" Billie Joe said, pointing at himself, with a suggestive look in his eye.

"Through there"

He pouted as she laughed and locked the door with a click.

Bundling up some of the discarded garments from the bed and floor Billie slowly opened the adjoining door that led into their sons' hotel room.
After fumbling momentarily for the light-switch he padded over to Joey, who lay facedown on top of his bed, clad in only his boxers. With one hand Billie shook his shoulder "Joey" he whispered.

"Yeah, alright Dad, I'm awake" was the response, accompanied with by a shiver. "It's cold" he complained.

"Once you're up and dressed you'll be warmer" Billie stated. It's his fault for not wearing sensible sleeping attire like me.

"Daddy" came the tired murmur from the right as Jakob began to stir, reaching out his arms as his father turned to wrap his arms around his youngest son.

"Hey buddy. Ready to do some painting? I'm going to have a shower so be good and get dressed. Ok?" Messing Jakob's hair, Billie stood up straight and strolled across the room.

He entered the bathroom, shutting the door and hanging his clothes up on the back of it. After turning the shower on he realized that his shower gel was in his suitcase. "There's no way I'm using the flower scented hotel freebies." he thought. The sounds of his children distracted his thoughts.

"Joey, I can't find my underpants" Jakob whined. Joey groaned loudly "Look harder then"

Sticking his head around the door Billie Joe laughed then spotted the offending item under Jakob's toilet bag. Suddenly he was hit with inspiration.

"Jake...I'll tell you where your underpants are if you'll lend me some of your shower gel."

Hurriedly Jakob pulled out a bottle filled with a blue-green liquid from the bag and tossed it in the general direction of the bathroom door.

"Oh. There they are. Naughty underpants. I found them but you can use my shower gel anyways."

Kicking the door shut behind him Billie stepped into the running water, pausing for a moment to get completely wet. Flicking the lid on the bottle he poured a generous amount of gel on to his hand. Rubbing his palms together he covered his body in a soapy lather. He took a deep breath and it was then that Billie Joe realized what he'd done. He was using ice cream scented shower gel. ICE CREAM!!!

Joey dressed himself quickly and sat on the edge of his unmade bed. Looking across the room he caught glimpse of a shirt preventing the bathroom door from closing completely. He reached out and tugged on it but stopped when his brother turned his head.

"Wotcha doing?"

Not really wanting to share his scheme with his younger brother Joey casually said "Your socks are under your jacket."

Now that Jakob was distracted he returned to manipulating the fabric so that it would slide easily. Pushing his luck slightly Joey snaked his hand around the door and with a slick flick he managed to remove all of the hanging clothes and the towel too.

Attempting to be subtle he placed the garments on the bed and pulled up the cover, taking great care to leave as many lumps and creases as he could possibly get away with.

"Boys? Are you ready?"

Adrienne came through from next door. Joey laughed as his mother was suddenly hit by Jakob's verbal vomit.

"I haven't put one of my socks on yet because they were under my bed but Joey found them and before then I couldn't find my underpants because they were being really bad and ran away but Dad needed shower gel and so I lent him mine and there they were under my bag but I needed them before I could put anything else on so it's taking me longer than normal today."

As he stopped for breath Adrienne clapped her hand over his mouth, "But you're fine, aren't you Joe?"

Nodding in agreement Joey stood up and walked through to the larger room then lay on the bed, legs hanging over the side. Jakob wriggled free and followed suit; trying to look cool but only succeeding in making a fool of himself.

Adrienne cracked up when she saw Jakob with his legs in the air, desperately attempting to not slide off the bed on to the floor.

"What's funny?" he asked, endeavoring to get back upright.

"You are darling" she managed to choke out.

"Well it's not me you should be laughing at. It's Joey coz he was doing it first." Jakob grumbled

"Yeah bro, but I'm cool" Joey said, nonchalantly, raising himself up on his elbows.

He glanced around then collapsed back down, blocking out the sound of his brother's questions about breakfast, his mind occupied with thoughts of the day ahead.

There was an unnaturally high shriek accompanied by some muffled laughter. Joey sat up instantly as his brother thrust his head under one of the pillows at the top of the bed, screaming loudly. He was greeted by the sight of Billie Joe standing, completely naked and dripping wet, in the doorway. The look on his face said it all.

"Joseph, what have you done with my belongings; Stop laughing Adrienne - you are supposed to be on my side; Jakob stop making that racket."

However he chose only to say the first.

With a snicker Joey shrugged then rolled over to lie on his front.

"You know, Jake, you can come out. It's only Dad" he coaxed.

"He's not wearing anything though" Jakob sounded traumatized.

"Yeah...well...he's lost his underpants too."

Jakob let out a giggle then frowned.

"But Joey, I saw you put them in your bed"

Joey hissed as Billie flung back the bedclothes revealing his clothes and swiftly pulling on his boxers and jeans.

"You are so childish sometimes. If you don't behave I'll... I'll...I don't know what I'll do but you won't like it."

As he tugged his shirt over his head there was a knock on the door leading out on to the corridor.

Adrienne opened it and welcomed in Jason and Janna, still continuing to laugh. Billie Joe began to pout as Jason crossed the room and then wrapped his arms around the older man.

"Bill...what have they done to you?" he comforted, pulling his head into his chest. There was a pause then Jason looked up, slightly confused.

"Wow...you...er...er...smell...er...how do I put this?..nice today."