Beautiful Imperfections

“Take them off right now!” I heard my mother shout angrily. I smoothed my beautiful white dress and hoping to not see Nate, I walked over to the annoying voice coming from my mothers mouth.

“I promised myself that I would be as understanding as possible. But at least try to look decent!” She shouted. The person didn’t respond. “I didn’t approve of you before, still don’t and will never approve!” I sighed annoyed. As I got closer, my mother’s voice got louder. I turned around the corner, and looked down because my stilettos were tugging the bottom of my dress. I delicately pulled my dress upwards and lifted my foot. I took a step forward making sure they wouldn’t get caught again, and looked up. I blinked, and gasped.

It was Nate and my mother. I blushed at the thoughts of Nate. He looked better than usual. His brown hair was messy as usual but it had this glow I loved. His electric blue eyes stood out more than usual. What made my heart sink was that he was angry. I could see it, even if he was wearing a calmed mask. My mother was looking up to him, anger written on her face.

“Take those damn shoes off, before I rip them off. I need my baby’s day to be perfect,” She hissed, looking him up and down. “Well, close to perfect anyways..”

“No, Claire asked me to be myself this day. And that’s what I’m doing. Because I love her,” He said monotonously. My eyes widen more if possible. He said he loved me. He has never said that before. Nate is one of those guys that rarely shows how he feels, or says it for that matter. He doesn’t buy you presents everyday. He doesn’t baby-talk you, or promises the world to you every chance he gets to. He is the type of guy that will get so angry when you get insulted or hurt that he will hurt the person that caused you pain twice as bad. He is the type of guy that understand everything and will bet here for you when you need him. He is the type of guy that doesn’t argue but walks away. And he doesn’t say sorry out loud but gives you a rose and kisses you tenderly. He is the guy that had enough guts to steal my heart without realizing it, not even feeling sorry, guilty, or regrettable after he realized it and the type of guy I want to be with for the rest of my life.

He was my first. In every sense of the word. He stole my first kiss. He took my heart. He keeps my heart, and he was the first one to even get close to it. He has been the one and only one to do that. My whole life, I believed that I couldn’t love. Since I dated guys I didn’t even like, but broke up with them not feeling guilty or sad. But he ran into my life. Quite literally. I remember it as if it were yesterday.

As I was walking, talking on my mobile. I turned to the corner and turned around. This guy about my age was running, and before I realized, he ran into me, causing me to lose my balance and almost falling. He was able to catch me. I looked up at him, and his eyes were so empty. So beautiful.

“S-Sorry,” I stuttered, my cheeks burning. He didn’t reply. He just moved his hands from my hips to my shoulders, causing my heart to speed up, and moved me to the side. He started running again and left me, to think a little bit too much about him. So many questions ran through my mind.

What his name was? What school did he go to? How old was he? Was I going to see him again?

But the question that bugged me the most was.. Was he thinking the same way I was? I hoped he was. Because that would’ve made me so happy.

I smiled at the memory. I looked at my mother.

“And because you love her, you should take those horrible shoes off,” She said through gritted teeth.

“It’s because I love her I’m wearing them,” He replied in the same tone.

“You don’t know my daughter, I do!” She shouted, causing me to cringe at her words.

I ran out of the room. I hated her. I can’t believe she said that in front of everyone not even caring. So what if I wasn’t a size two? What if I was a size eight? It wasn’t my fault my bottom was too big. I exercised every night, and I was only 130 pounds. My bottom was always going to be bigger than average. I kept running, until I ran to someone, falling to the ground again.

“Sorry,” I mumbled, trying to clean up the tears. I stood up, not looking at the person I had just ran to. I started to walk pass them, but they took a hold of my wrist. I looked up to see Nate’s beautiful blue eyes. He looked at me curiously, and before I realized, I broke down. I fell on my knees and started crying. He kneeled beside me and with one swift movement, he pulled me towards him, causing me to crash on his strong, yet gentle chest. He hesitantly wrapped his arms around my shoulders, and pulled close to him. I cried and cried for God knows how long.

“It’s okay, Claire.. I’m here,” I barely heard Nate whisper. I smiled through my tears. Seeing that there is a sun behind the clouds.

I smiled at the memory. That was the day I finally admitted I hated my mother. She was always about appearances. The latest fashion trend, and the latest weight trend. That day, she loudly told me that if I kept eating like I was, I was going to have a bigger ass than I already had, that I would be so ugly no one would want to marry me. Some people gasped, some people laughed, some were angry, some didn’t care. But I did. I’m not sure if I’m the only one with a mother like that. But if you’re one of us, it hurts a lot, doesn’t it? Knowing that you will never be good enough for your mother, never good enough for anyone hurts, right? You try so hard, as much as you can to be better and to hope your mother approves, to the point where you start hating yourself for not being good enough. You’re wrong. You are good enough, I am good enough. And if my mother is too blind to see that, then screw her. If I’m not good enough for her, then she isn’t good enough for me.

“Who do you think you are, huh? That you can just waltz to her life, then completely change her, then take her away from me? Huh? Because of you she hates me. Because of you, she doesn’t care about anything anymore!” My mother shouted, once again. Anger boiled up inside.

“I think I am the one that loves her. I think I’m the one that waltzed into her life, I’m the one that didn’t change her at all or took her away from you. It’s because of you she strongly dislikes you, even though she should hate you. You were never there for her, you always put her down, she always tried her best to make you like her, but you would always find a flaw in her. But guess what? I’m her rock now, I’m her strength. It’s not that she doesn’t care about anything, she just finds it pointless to try so hard for you to not even congratulate her. I know I’m not good enough for her. And I still try very hard, but unlike you, she’s always proud of me, always happy for me. And the very fact that I can make her smile, makes me more than happy to try harder for her the next time, just to see that beautiful smile of hers. But have you thought that even though she tried harder and harder the next time, you barely looked at her work? It’s too late now, she has me to tell her how beautiful, how amazing, how perfect she is. Because that’s all she is. Perfection. I’m wearing this shoes because she asked me to. She asked me to be myself. To not try and make you approve because all I would be is disappointed,” He replied to my mother. My jaw dropped to the floor. He had never talked about me so passionately to a stranger like he was right now. My heart was beating so hard against my rib-cage it hurt. Tears started to build up in my eyes of the happiness I felt. He thought I was beautiful. He thought I was amazing. But most importantly, he thought I was perfect. No one before had thought of me as perfect. My mom stared at him with wide eyes. But she composed herself quickly.

“This day needs to be perfect, Nathaniel, do it for Claire,” She said through gritted teeth.

“Are you sure it’s for me? Or is it because it will not look good in some magazine?”

They both gasped and snapped to where I was hiding. I came out of my hiding spot and started walking towards them. Unwillingly, I tore my eyes out of Nate’s perfect emotionless, yet blushing face to my disturbing mother’s one.

“Which one is it?” I inquired.

“For you, of course,” She didn’t hesitate.

“Well, I think the Converse look great with the tux, therefore, he has no need to change them, now does he?” I replied. I could tell she wasn’t going to let it go like that.

“Honey, I know you. In a couple of years, you will look back at the pictures, then look at his shoes and regret it, I know you will. He needs to change those shoes,”

“I think I know me better,” I said.

“But honey, you will wish your day was perfect,” she almost hissed.

“No, I think I won’t wish for that. You know why? Since you know me so well?”

“Because you love arguing with me?” She was showing her real face already.

“Nope, because it will be a constant reminder that nothing is perfect. No matter how hard you try, it will never be. It will remind me that even if I love Nate with all my heart we will still have arguments, we will still have disagreements. Those shoes will show me that even if it wasn’t perfect in everyway possible, it’s still beautiful and breath taking, then I’ll look at the rest of the picture, and I will notice how many things are close to perfect. I will know that those imperfections are what makes life beautiful. The magazines and the press might think as a horrible taste of fashion, but those who aren’t shallow enough will think deeper and notice that it wasn’t because the taste the person had, but they will notice how imperfect we all are, and yet, we are still proud of those flaws,” I replied walking closer to Nate.

“No, you’re just doing this to make me angry, to go against my word, since this boy walked into your perfect life, that is all you do,”

“If I wanted to make you angry, I would be open about it. Since Nate walked into my life, he has made it so much better. He gave me back my self-esteem, he opened my eyes,”

“Oh, for Christ sake, Claire! Stop being such a drama queen and just tell him to change his damned shoes,”

“I’m not. This is my day. I, for once, get to choose what to wear, what to use, what to do. I don’t need you anymore. If you don’t like it, you can leave. Then we can all finally breathe,” I told her bitterly. I turned to Nate and smirked at him, raising my eyebrow.

“I’m perfect?” I questioned. He slightly blushed. If I wasn’t so close to him, I would’ve never noticed. He just looked deeply into my eyes, with no emotion on his face. Before doing anything else, I waved goodbye to Nate and walked out of the hall. I wanted to do something. I went to the room I had been while changing and grabbed the bracelet he won at one of the festivals. I remember the day he gave it to me.

Come to the park.

I gave my mobile a look of confusion. I wondered what he wanted. I took my jacket and my house keys, along with my iPod and my mobile. It was a beautiful night, even if it was slightly chilly. As I got closer to the park, I made out a silhouette, I slowed down my pace, taking in the view. Nate was leaning on the brick wall, with one knee bent and his foot resting on the wall. His face was facing the sky and his eyes looked thoughtful. As I got closer, he noticed my presence and faced me. I smiled, but sadly, he didn’t return the gesture. He walked closer to me and softly, yet firmly grabbed my wrist. He lifted my arm and with another hand, he slipped a childish bracelet on my wrist. I gave him a look of confusion.

“It’s for you, I won it at a festival, I don’t want it,” Was his reply, he looked away, avoiding my eyes. I softly smiled.

“Thank you,” I leaned in, and gave him a peck on the cheek. His head snapped and he looked at me with widen eyes. He quickly let go of my wrist and walked away without saying goodbye. I chuckled at his embarrassment.

I laughed at how girly I was being. That was the first act of affection he had ever had towards me. After that, he didn’t talk to me for the longest time. Before I decided to stop being such a baby and confronted him about it.

I stomped towards him.

“Why are you avoiding me?” I asked angrily. He just looked at me, then started walking away.

“Nate! Why are you being like this?! I thought you were okay with being my friend?” I whispered the end.

“Claire, stop this. Don’t talk to me, or get close to me. It’s for the best,” He said in his monotone voice.

“Why?” I whimpered.

“You don’t understand it, Claire. You never do,” He replied with his voice slightly angry.

“Of course I don’t! But if you could just let me in! Just so that I understand more.. Please..”

“I can’t, Claire. I can’t..” He lowered his voice.

“Why? I just want to.. I just want to...” I couldn’t finish. I didn’t know what I wanted.

“If I open myself to you.. You.. You’ll end up hurt. I don’t want to hurt you. That’s all I do. Hurt people..”

“But.. But have you thought.. That you’re hurting me by closing me out.. I just.. I’m sorry,” I gave up defeated. I knew he wasn’t going to open up, so I started walking away. Tears were almost leaving my eyes.

“I.. I love you,” I heard him whisper. My eyes widen and my body froze. My breath got caught on my throat and every nerve in my body was too alive.

“W..What..?” I managed to choke out.

“I love you,” He said it louder this time. I slowly turned around and saw him hanging his head in shame.

“And you’re ashamed of loving me?” I said slightly angry. His head snapped up.

“No! I would never..” He trailed off.

“Why, then, were you hanging your head down in shame?” I emotionlessly said.

“Because.. Because I thought you would just walk away,” He whispered, lowering his head again. I smiled widely and skipped to him. I placed both of my hands at each side of his face, and lifted his head.

“That makes the two of us,” I smiled, and for the first time in my life, I was kissed.

By now, I was jumping up and down from the happiness fulfilling me. I was too happy at the memory. I abruptly stopped when my eyes caught the clock.

“Shit!” I cussed. I ran out of the room, making sure to not ruin my up do. I arrived at the front door where my father was waiting for me with that big smile of his. An instant smile appeared on my lips as well. I hooked my arm to his, and the doors opened. I pulled my veil down and smirked at a nervous Nate, fiddling with his hands. The march slowly started and my father and I walked towards the isle.

“Go get him, tigress,” I heard my best friend whisper. I chuckled. A lot of flashes slightly blinded me, momentarily. Until I got used to it. I looked down at Nate and he was still wearing his black All-Star Converse.

“Yeah, I can’t go this slow, so do you mind speeding up the piano for me, babe?” I asked loud enough for the middle-aged pianist. I heard her slightly laugh, along with almost everyone in the church, and does what I asked. I turned to my mother and saw her face was red in fury. I winked at her.

My wedding, my rules, mom.

As I got closer to the isle, the more nervous I got. When I got close enough, Nate took my hand, but not before noticing the bright rainbow coloured bracelet, and smiling with infamous breath-taking smile. Man, can this boy make me drool.

“We are gathered here today..” The Reverend started. But instead of listening to him, I gazed off. I kept thinking of how our life would be from now on. If we were going to be truly happy, or miserable like my mom and dad. Will we stay together forever and ever, or will we drift apart farther than ever? That thought scared me. I looked down to my hands, barely hearing anything besides my thoughts. Then I decided something to myself. I would work hard to make him happy, I will work hard to be a good wife and best friend. Determined, I looked up at Nate. His face was filled with worry, confusion and pain.

And without realizing I blurted out, ‘Yes, no! What? When? Why?”

“Um, do you want to marry me? Now? Because you make me happy?” Nate chuckled, smiling at me.

“Oh! Right! Yes,” I smiled up at him. I heard the Reverend clear his throat. “I mean, I do,” I said formally.

“Then in front of the church and our Lord, I declare you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride,” the Reverend declared, making me the happiest girl on the planet. He leaned and placed his soft lips on mines. I let go of my bouquet and snaked my arms around his neck, savouring him. I smiled through the kiss. I broke the kiss and hugged him.

“I love you,” I whispered to his ear.

“That makes the two of us,” he whispered back. I pulled away, and looked at the people in front of me. Some smiling, some crying. I looked at my mom, and to my surprise, she was doing both. She walked up to me and hugged me.

“I’m so proud of you, and I’m so sorry, baby..” She whispered to me. Tears, unwillingly flowed out of my eyes. Today, was truly the happiest day of my life. I was finally with the boy I wanted to spent the rest of my life with, and for the first time in my life, my mother said she was proud of me, and she also apologized for what she had done to me. I honestly couldn’t ask for anything in this world.

“Thank you, and don’t be mom. I love you,” I whispered back, pulling away and gave her a kiss on her cheek. I pulled Nate with me as people threw cherry blossom petals at us. I giggled and waved at my friends.

Today is the day my life truly begins. Today I was no longer Claire Montoya, but I was now Claire Ferrero. I loved my new name.

“How do you feel about this wedding, Mrs Ferrero?” I heard Nate ask.

“I feel very happy, Mr. Ferrero,”

“Shall we go home?”

“We shall baby. Wherever you go, I go,” I whispered seductively at him, pulling him towards the carriage that would take us to our destination. To his home. Our home.