"I love you, Adrienne..." "I love you too, Mike"

Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. Somebody please help me!

Stop me, anyone!

My mind had no control over my actions anymore, and I watched and cryed as I took a razorblade in my hand.

With a huge effort I managed to stop myself at a few inches, but I realized I couldn't back away, either.

I was stuck there, my mind telling me it was not right, my heart, in pain, telling me to just do it.

People always tell me to listen to my heart, but now... I really don't wanna do it.

Then, the doorbell rang. I shouted through the close door, "Come in! It's open! I'll be there in a second!"

I heard the door open and close shortly after. Then soft steps to the bathroom door.

I cried in silence, trying not to make a sound, still thinking about what I was doing. I couldn't do this while I had someone right outside the door.

I heard a soft knock. "Mike, are you in there?"

Adrienne?

I didn't answer. I was kind of... shocked, with everything else going through my mind, I couldn't literally move.

A louder knock.

"Mike? Are you ok?"

Still, I don't answer. And I watched, as I fought my hand not to move, or at least, to move back.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Mike, open the fucking door! If you won't do it, then I'll just come in, you're worrying me!"

I was screaming inside my head, trying to talk and say please help me, but couldn't bring myself to do it. What was I becoming?

Everything was blurred, because of my tears, I couldn't speak, I couldn't move, I couldn't do anything, fuck!

Everything happened quickly.

The door opened suddenly, I jumped in surprise, but doing so, the hand holding the razorblad fell down to reach my exposed wrist, and cut it. I screamed, not too loud, because, shit, that hurt! I saw blood through my tears, and then, black. I fell down.

I could still feel though. And hear. I felt tears on my face that didn't belong to me. I felt two hands on my chest, two arms trying to hold me. I heard sobs. I heard her crying. I heard her screams. I felt someone put a bandage around my wrist. I felt... ok. Apart from the fact that I wasn't completely conscious.

From what I felt, I didn't cut too deep, otherwise I would have been in an ambulance by then. But I was in my bed.

I tryed to open my eyes, but the light was too blinding.

I was desperate to see her face, to hold her hand, to thank who saved me, after all. But I couldn't open my eyes, so I just laid there and listened to her sobs which were bringing me to tears too.

"Don't worry, Adie, he'll be ok. He so much stronger than that. It wasn't deep, he'll be awake soon."

"Are you sure? I'm so worried, I don't know what to do or think right now."

"Then just don't do or think anything. I have to go, now. I'm sorry. I really am. I can't stay here, I have... stuff to do."

"Don't leave me, not now."

"You're strong Adie. And come on, he's not in a too much difficult situation."

"He's not? Have you gone mad? He tried to cut himself, goddammit!"

"I meant, phisically. And anyway, you're the best person to talk to him, you should do that, he listens to you."

"No, please, I can't do this on my own."

"You can. I'm sure you can."

"Why don't you talk to him?"

"I... I can't... and I don't think he'd want to see me, anyway."

"Why wouldn't he?"

"...Long story. I must go now. I'll see you later."

"Ok..."

"Bye Adie."

"Bye..."

I was so confused. What the fuck was all that about?