My Words Are a Matter of Pride

"I don't care what you say Tadem, I don't want to see her let alone talk to her," Holly said with a heavy sigh, dropping the magazine she was reading to the floor. Tadem made a face and tapped her finger against Holly's knee which was resting with her other knee across Tadem's lap. "And I'm only talking to you and Harlee because I miss your beautiful faces."

"But you and Avara were- are so close!" Tadem argued.

"Key word there my love: were. I can't trust someone who talks about me behind my back, and I can't be friends with someone I don't trust. I thought i could trust her Tadem, but finding out she yapped to Jonathan... Jonathan about me behind my back, plotting, is a major betrayal." Holly watched Tadem's face and frowned when Tadem closed her eyes and leant back against the couch.

"Holly think about it this way. We've built up a major fan-base since Warped Tour, kids have come out to shows, bought merch, told us their stories, bought us shit. I'm not taking sides because you're both at fault here- wait," she sighed, lifting her hand to stop Holly yelling at her, "Avara shouldn't have gone and talked to Jonathan about you, and you shouldn't have broken her brand new guitar. That shit's expensive. Think about the fans, about the band, about me, Harlee and Avara. Think about yourself, you'll regret leaving the band Holly."

"Tadem, how will I be able to be in a band with her?"

"Just let it go, be the bigger person," Tadem told her, "I know she's scheming something as we speak for the last Perth show."

"What?"

"I don't know, she wouldn't tell us when we asked her. Jake was beside himself thinking she was going to make shit with you worse."

"Can't get any worse... Unless she get's Mindy fucking White to sing my songs." Tadem made a face that strangely resembled Donald Duck.



That night as Harlee and Tadem did soundcheck, Avara sat outside the venue waiting for Jonathan to show up. She was 50% sure that her plan would work, Holly would either get scared that Avara was going to butcher the way she sang the songs, or get someone like Mindy White to sing.

"Avara!" She heard him before she saw him. He was wearing dark jeans and a grey shirt, and was being followed by a certain red headed guitarist. "Are you sure you wanna do this?" He asked again, coming to a stop before her. Avara gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Hey," she told him, "hey Caleb. Yes Jonathan, this is the only way I know how to set things straight." Jonathan shrugged his shoulders. "Okay, let's go in. Caleb, are you still going to sing Living In A Fairy Tale with Jonathan?" Caleb made an awkward face and shrugged.

"I don't want her mad at me Avara, so if she goes mental, make sure she know's is wasn't my idea, okay?" Avara nodded, and grabbed both of their shirts and began to drag them inside.



"Well hey guys," Avara grinned across the see of confused faces, "We're having a slight hiccup tonight. Holly couldn't make it, so Jonathan from Forever The Sickest Kids is going to fill in. This is our first song; Living In A Fairytale..."

Harlee and Tadem exchanged cautious glances with Caleb and Jonathan when Avara started to play the cords on her borrowed guitar.

"Avara..." Jonathan said softly, "You know this song is acoustic, right?" Avara gave him a frustrated glare and stopped playing.

"Well if you know a better way of making her come here and fucking re-join the band Jonathan, then tell me, because I've thought long and fucking hard about it since she wrecked my brand new Gibson because I opened my mouth and meddled in her affairs." The crowd gasped and Harlee covered her mouth.

"Avara, I..."

"Shut up Jonathan," she told him before turning to Caleb, "Fire crotch, sing for us, Do you know Picking Daisies?" Caleb nodded his head numbly and stepped forward.

"So she showed up here, just like everything's fine, when she didn't call me back for weeks at a time. Now its really late, like 12:59, and I feel like a twit, cus I thought she was mine," He sang. "How do you live with yourself everyday knowing that you hurt me this way? Who would have thought that we'd break away? Who would have thought that our love would decay?" Caleb stood still, he felt awkward sing Avara's song that was so obviously about him or Jonathan. He felt just as awkward when he noticed Holly standing on the right hand side of the stage frowning. he stopped singing.

"Caleb!" Avara yelled, "sing god damn it!"

"I- I can't Avara, I can't."

"Why not?" Caleb pointed at Holly who was now leaning against a pole with her arms cross and her fringe covering her eyes.

"Oh."

"I'll take that Caleb," Holly said, standing up straight and going over to him, taking the microphone from him. "That's apparently what front women do. Jake, where's my bass?" And in a minute, people were running from every direction at Holly, hugging her too them. Tadem, Harlee, Jake, Travis, Vanesse, Shaun, Bradie, Andy, Caleb and Jonathan. "Get off me, I gotta sing," she laughed, shrugging them off of her. "This doesn't mean we're good Avara, I'm just not letting down my fans."

"So he showed up here, just like everything's fine..."



"So you'll be in the band again?" Jake asked Holly, both of his hands resting on her shoulders. "I mean, I really don't want to be disappointed..." Holly rolled her eyes and gave a pointed look at Avara.

"I'm back Jake, but I'm not talking to... " She didn't finish her sentence because she knew she might say something nasty at the guitarist. "I'm still not happy Jake. I'll talk to Pete about it when we see him in California, and maybe he can help us work something out. Until then, I won't, I repeat won't speak to Avara Law."



"Avara, that was stupid!" Jake yelled.

"It got her back in the band didn't it! That was more than what anyone else accomplished," Avara muttered.

"Yes, but it was this meddling and scheming that got you into this mess in the first place!"

"I tried apologizing Jake and she wouldn't listen! What was I supposed to do?"

"She feels betrayed, and then you went behind her back again," Jake stressed. He didn't understand how Avara didn't get what he was trying to say. What he didn't realize was that she did get it, he just didn't get what she was trying to say.

"I get that Jake, really I do," she had to hold up her hand to stop him speaking, "But she's stubborn. She feels betrayed yeah, but why does she think I did it? I'm her best friend and vice versa. And it's not like I could have talked to her about it. I needed to vent!" she rambled. "Besides, what about all those times she went behind my back and thumbs up knuckle punched everyone?"

"I don't think that really counts as betrayal Vara."

"It does if your me and Holly! That was like a sacred thing for us! And besides, I'm pretty sure she got all up in my business at warped tour."

"When?" Jake asked.

"She told Caleb and Jonathan to stop fighting with each other over my attention. And she told Caleb to kiss me! That's exactly what I did: I saw there was an issue to I tried to help by giving those involved a nudge in the right direction. And I didn't actually interfere, I just talked about interfering."

"Avara-"

"Jake, relax, I still have another plan."

"No more plans!" he yelled at her.

"I don't see you trying to do anything productive! Now if you don't mind, I need to go to the airport!" she yelled back before storming out of his motel room.



An hour and a half later, Avara was driving to Holly's house with Jonathan and none other that John O'Callaghan from The Maine.

"Okay, explain to me again what's going on," John said from the back seat of Avara's mum's car.

"Jesus Christ your slow!," Avara said.

"Vara," Jonathan told her off.

"I," she said, smiling into her rear view mirror at the newest addition to her list of band bffs, "am Avara Law, gueetarist of the Australian band Kill Barbie."

"Yeah, I saw you around on Warped," he said before turning to Jonathan, "You said I had to come here to check out the Soundwave venue. You said it was important."

"We will, I promise, and this is important," Jonathan said to him. He felt bad lying to his friend and convincing him to fly out to Australia, but he thought it was worth it.

"If you know of our band, you must know of our lead singer Holly," Avara said.

"Yeah, so."

"Well she's angry at me. And she has a major fan girl crush on you.."

"So you're going to deliver me to her and hope she forgives you for whatever is was you did?" John asked. Avara was momentarily speechless.

"Um, yeah."

"Will you promise to show me the venue later then. I don't want this trip to be a complete waste of time!"

"Spending time with Holly Burming is NOT a 'complete waste of time' thank you!" Avara yelled, almost stomping on the brakes.

Fifteen minutes later, Avara pulled into Holly's small culdersac and parked her car across the road from Holly's house.

"So, what's the plan?" Jonathan asked as they neared close to Holly's house.

"We sneak in through the side door. She'll probably be sleeping."

"Isn't that breaking and entering, which is illegal?" John O asked.

"I wont be breaking anything!" Avara said, "now hush."

The two boys followed Avara as she snuck up to the left hand gate next to the house. She lifted the latch on the other side of the gate using the mechanism Holly had made when she was little so she could open the gate from the outside. Holly didn't need it anymore, but she left it there for Avara, who couldn't reach over the gate, so she could sneak in when Holly was asleep and her parents weren't home.

Avara heard a distant bark and the two Johns huddled close together as three staffys came running around the corner. "Hey puppies," Avara smiled. Lady, Rosie and Tyson stopped worrying about the strangers in their domain and started licking Avara's hands as she bent down to pat them. "Now off with you," she said, "We have work to do."

She continued walking to the side door and stuck her finger in the small, barely noticeable hole in the fly-wire to unlock the screen door and silently slid it open. She turned around to see Johnathan and John O look at each other uncertainly and she beckoned them forward. She tiptoed through the door and into Holly's room where she was, indeed, still sleeping. She walked up to her sleeping best friend and whispered in her ear.

"Holly." Holly groaned, "HOLLY!"

"ARGH!" Holly screamed, and screamed even louder when she saw Avara. "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU FRIENDSHIP RUINING BETRAYING PERSON!"

"Hush Holly," Avara whispered, "I bought you a present to make you forgive me."

"Nothing you could buy me could make me - oh my god is that John O'Callaghan?"

"Um, hi," John said awkwardly.

"Avara, I'm still not talking to you, but I want you to know that I love you." Holly said. Avara grinned and turned to Jonathan, who was standing awkwardly in the doorway beside John.

"We gotta go Cook. You'll be okay here John? Stay here or Holly can take you to a hotel or something later. Either way, Jonathan will come get you in the morning to show you the venue. Goodbye Holly, I love you."

"So uh," Holly laughed nervously after Avara and Jonathan had left. She scratched her cheek, "I uh, like your music?" John gave her a weird look and sat down on her bed awkwardly. Holly scanned her bedroom floor and saw that she had left a pair of underwear on the floor by the end of her bed. As quickly as she could, she got up and stood on them.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing," she muttered. John looked at all the photo's she had on her wall, and she kicked her underwear under her bed and went to leave her bedroom. "Hungry? Thirsty?" She asked him. John stood up and followed her to the door.

"Got any juice?" He asked. Holly thought for a moment.

"Dunno, let's check." She walked on ahead of John, pausing to kick one of her shoes out of her way. Turns out the Burmings had several flavours of juice. "T-Jay, O-Jay or A-Jay?" She asked. John laughed for a moment. "What?" Holly asked, self consciously.

"Nothing," he said, "I call them that too." Holly watched him for a moment with an odd expression on her face.

"Did you uh," holly started, "want me to take you to a hotel or something? Or you could stay here in the spare room or something..." John scratched his neck for a moment.

"Could I stay here... ?" Holly shrugged.

"Sure." She made the bed up, Gave John a towel, showed him where the bathroom was and went to bed.



Avara had just dropped Jonathan off at his hotel and parked her car in a car park in Perth. She got out of her car smiling because she had just been hooked up with free parking because she used to work for them. She locked her car and exited the car park and made her way to 78s where Short Stack were doing another acoustic set to say goodbye to WA. Avara wanted to see her boys one last time before they left.

She walked into the store and pushed her way through the crowd unrecognized and stood as close as she could to the band without them seeing her. While she waited for them to come out, she started looking at the hair of the girl in front of her; it looked so damn familiar.

"Kaitlyn?" Avara said when the girls name came to her head. It was the Australian fan they had met on Warped Tour. She turned around and her jaw dropped.

"Avara! Hey!" The two talked for another ten minutes until Short Stack finally came out.

"The first song we're going to sing today," Shaun said, "Is a new on about a very special girl. And that girl's name is Avara Law." Avara swallowed nervously and Kaitlyn grinned and elbowed her in the side.

"I'm reaching out. I'm reaching out
I'm reaching out to get to you

Sweetheart, here's the sweet part
It's five am and your lips are still amazing
But they can't stop me from falling off the rooftop singing

What planet are you from?
And are all the lights on?
I don't know how to talk to you.
And where did you come from?
What planet are you on?
I can't believe the things you do.

I'm reaching out, I'm reaching out
I'm reaching out to get to you
I'm reaching out, I'm reaching out
I think I'm on the same planet as you."

Avara was torn between absolutely loving the song and feeling incredibly awkward because it was about her. She didn't know what to do.

"Jesus Christ," she muttered.

Shaun continued singing.

"Sweetheart I'm here for you
To see your pretty face
I'd defy all the stars
To capture your embrace
Sweetheart I'm holding out
Sweetheart we're pulling through
Sweetheart I'm reaching out
Only to get to you
Only to get to you
Only to get to you Oh"

"Jesus Christ, not again."