To the End of Sweet Revenge

The rest of the day to me had gone according to schedule. I'd learnt the best way to get to Gerard was through what he loved the most being his band and the music they played for the people that adored them.

With Gerard I really wasn't sure how this relationship would go but I was going to make sure it was exclusive and torment him with my unusual mood swings. Walking around where the tour buses were I hadn't noticed that Sponge Bob wasn't there and went on my way, Seeing Bambi I walked over to our beautiful van and saw that Jeff was asleep inside.

Banging on the window Jeff awoke with an almighty fright. As he looked towards me I poked my tongue out which seem to infuriate him further as he mouthed obscenities to me which I couldn't hear but could certainly make out. As he wound down the window I looked at him as he wiped his groggy eyes.

"Jeff. What are you doing sleeping?" I asked.

Not really wanting to talk to me, he just glared as I stared and started to laugh.

"When can I get on the bus?"

"It's not coming" Jeff softly replied.

"What do you mean it's not coming?" I yelled.

"There has been more trouble?"

"What do you mean more trouble, do the others know?" Jeff just shook his head unable to say anything else.

"Great what are we going to do now?" I screamed getting frustrated by the minute.

"You're back on the MCR bus"

"Bloody hell...Jeff just great"

"Dakota don't be complaining you could be going in Bambi like Preston and I" Jeff snapped.

I knew he was right and I had to be grateful but at the same time I wasn't sure how much more time I could spend around Gerard, especially during the evening knowing that he truly liked me. I had to be by myself to have my space where I could think of what I needed to do and how I was going to hurt him further.

The first for today was standing him up which I was now half way though, maybe he was going to be pissed and if he was then I would start the guilt trip.

At this time it was the best thing that I could possibly think of, I wanted to do it in small quantities, small dosages to make the pain worse rather then one big thing. In the end I wanted him to hate me, despise me for the hurtful things I'd done and was going to do.

Sulking away I ran in to Jay who grabbed me by the arm and pulled me behind some of the tour buses.
"Ouch Jay what are you doing?" I asked

With angry eyes she looked at me. "I know what your going to do?"

"What are you on about?" I asked.

"Gerard how you want to hurt him, are you crazy...Where is the real Dakota?"

I couldn't believe it she'd found out but not only that she'd gone through my personal stuff I wasn't sure which more to be angry about. "You went through my stuff, how could you?" I screamed.

"That's not the point, I know about Gerard and I'm going to tell him if you don't stop" Jay yelled back.

ll that was going through my mind was shit, how was I going to get out of this one, if I was correct she'd read my word document where being bored I'd listed all the possible way's I could hurt Gerard.

And knowing that Jay knew me, it would be harder to lie to her. But at the same time I couldn't let her succeed, she was damaging what I needed to do and as much as I loved her as a sister she was starting to piss me off especially as she knew my secret.

"Jay just stay out of it?"

"I won't Dakota...What's gotten in to you?"

"Nothing...Ok this is my business not yours" I yelled.

"Well Dakota it's mine too now, If you don't tell Gerard I'll be sure to tell him and that's a promise" Jay snapped.

I didn't know what to do, I could feel that Jay would tell him if she had the chance and she wasn't one to back down and I didn't want to back down nor was I going to. I was stuck in a loop and the only thing I could think of doing was agreeing.

"Fine Jay I'll tell him" I softly replied. Looking me up and down she smiled, this would have to be one of the best performance's I'd done and certainly deserved an Oscar for it.

"Good, but remember you better or I'll be sure too" Jay replied as she stormed off.

Staying where I was for a minute, I was stuffed one of my close friends had found out what I intended to do and if I didn't comply with what she said well then she was going to dob. Trying to rid the thought's from my mind, I walked back to the MCR bus where walking inside, Gerard was there sitting on the sofa looking at me.

"What" I snapped.

"Where were you?"

"Not where you were!"

"We were going to meet up remember" Gerard asked.

"Nope..." "Why are you being cold for?"

"I'm not...just very busy and haven't got time to worry about other things."

"Dakota if we are going to start a relationship you really need to open up to me and stop putting up this cold front. I don't know what to do when you do that" Gerard replied.

"Maybe I don't want to" I muttered.

“Huh?" he said not hearing what I had just muttered.
"I know."

Walking over he placed his arms around me, holding me close. I just wanted to melt in to his arms and for him to never let go. I was starting to feel safe, feeling safer then I had felt in such a long time.

Kissing my forehead, he stared in to my eyes and placed a soft kiss on my lips. "So did I stand you up?" I asked sweetly.

He nodded but said nothing about it. Right now I was making myself feel guilty but I couldn't, he had to be like that and the only way to do that was to use my womanly figure. Rubbing my hand up his thigh, he looked at me and smiled.

Grabbing my hand he placed his fingers in mine and traced from the tip of my finger up to my hand. Getting him worked up and then rebuffing him was going to be fun, though it was going to be agonizing on my own behalf. I'd go through with it, I had to in order to show him some form of guilt..