To the End of Sweet Revenge

Dakota’s POV

Waking some hours later, I could hear nothing nor see anything but the dark around me, for a moment I started to think where was I and what was going on, but then like a sudden jolt it all came back, the thoughts, the betrayal, the heartache and most of all Gerard.
Placing my legs firmly on the ground, I felt for my cell and located it on the floor.

Looking at the screen I could see that there were messages, not bothering to want to read them. I checked the time and saw that it was 6:30am, quickly I got up and headed out the door and back to my room. Scanning the corridor no one was around which I was grateful for.

Inside my room and checking my bed Frank was asleep with Coco wrapped in his arms.
Not wanting to make any noise I grabbed my bag and took it in to the bathroom where I ran the water in order to have a shower, stripping the clothes off my body that I had worn the night before, I hopped in and let the hot water hit my skin.

It actually felt relaxing but instantly the tears started yet again. I wasnt sure how longer I was going to be able to cope like this, it was damaging me more then I thought possible.

Eventually I got out of the shower and wrapped the towel around my body, I wasnt in the mood to be around anyone but today was another day which also meant another show.

Looking through my bag I came across some comfy clothes a pair of track pants and baggy singlet, I was keen on my appearance but today I didnt care. My heart wasnt with it today and I didnt know if it was ever going to be.

Dressed and my hair wet and up in a ponytail, I entered the main room where Coco was standing having a smoke and Frank was laying in bed rubbing his eyes while trying to wake up.

Noticing me he spoke instantly.

“Dakota your ok.”

This automatically made Coco turn around and jump on me like a playful kitten.

“Oh my god Dakka, we have all been so worried about you, where were you?”

“I just found somewhere to be by myself I needed it.”

“Honey I’m so sorry by what has happened, but so proud of you for owning up, I know it’s hard but Jay, Mac and I are here for you.” Coco replied as she released her grip around me.

Frank sat there and said nothing, which I did understand Gerard was his friend and I was the girl who had wanted to destroy his heart in more ways then one, and now that I had succeeded. I could see Frank would see me as the troublemaker even if I was remorseful for my actions and that my heart was breaking as well.

Saying nothing else I headed to the door, I wanted to get out of the hotel before having to see Gerard or even be caught with him in a lift, as I started to think this tour was slowly coming to an end and then I’d never have to see him again. As much as it hurt it would be for the best as then slowly I could try and mend my broken heart.

Opening it I headed out with my bag in tow, looking down the corridor I could see Jay and Mac both lugging there cases out as well. Stopping I hoped they hadn’t seen me, everything would be out in the open by now and I didnt need more people going are you ok, where were you, Oh I’m so sorry, everything will be alright.

For a fact I knew it wasnt going to be alright, everything was going to be damm hard and there was nothing I could do about it but try and get over it. After seeing the girls get in to the lift and the doors close, I pressed the button and waited for the next lift to appear when I felt a presence behind me, slowly I turned around to see Ray looking towards me with disappointed eyes.

Straight away I knew that he knew, and now I knew I was going to be berated which I did deserve I just didnt want to hear it.

“Dakota what were you thinking, Gerard loves you and you try and pull a stunt like you did. Look I’m not gonna judge and I don’t know what caused you to do this and I don’t think I’ll ever understand. But FUCK Dakota, he’s human and all he ever wanted to give you was his heart, he told me last night he thought you the one, the one to be with him for the rest of his life. Crazy huh! But he fucking loved you and now you’ve gone and broken his heart.”

Instantly I felt the pain rumble through my body as Ray spoke, tears sprung in to my eyes as I looked up at his and could see the disappointment still looking at me.

“I have no excuses Ray what so ever and I wish I could take everything back, really I do. I love him, I know I ‘ve made the biggest mistake of my life and I have to deal with that, is that not enough?” I sobbed.

“Look Dakota I’m not trying to get you upset as I’m sure you already are, I do praise you for being the bigger person really I do, but you need to understand that what you done and wanted to do was not acceptable and Gerard is truly hurt by your actions.”

“Ray don’t you think I don’t understand what I have caused...I FUCKING understand more then anything. I have thrown away the best possible thing that has ever entered my life. I have nothing now and that is my punishment for being a spoilt rotten bitch with no heart” I yelled a little frustrated.

“Look I know that Dakota I do.”

Before Ray could say any more I cut him off. “That’s it Ray you think you know but you don’t, no one knows how I feel or what I’m going through. I made the biggest mistake in my entire life, now please let me deal with it myself. I’ve already caused enough pain, I just cant listen to anymore.”

After finishing what I had to Ray stood there momentarily and then walked off, with that I entered the lift and made it down to the lobby where I went in to the gift show, not knowing why I was going there, I came across the peroxide, picking up a tube I went to the counter and paid for it.

In the lobby I could see two tour buses and I knew instantly I knew one was for Landslide which I was grateful, as today I couldnt be on the same bus as Gerard it just wouldn’t be bearable.

Walking out side I lit a smoke and took in the toxins that entered my system, walking over to the bus I saw Jeff standing there with Preston, not saying anything I entered the bus and dumped my bag on the floor and with the peroxide in hand I entered the bathroom area to have a little fun with my hair.

If anything I needed to get my mind off Gerard even if it was only for a short time.

Gerard’s POV

having everything ready I was a little surprised when Ray entered the room, the hours for me had seemed to drag as I was unable to sleep, all I had on my mind was Dakota and how I was turning out just like her.

I’d never wanted to become like that, I wasnt evil but I was sure turning in to someone like that, allowing her to suffer when all I truly wanted to do was grab her in my arms and tell her that everything was alright and that we would be able to work everything out.

But I couldnt the stubborn side of me had kicked in and I needed her to suffer, to wallow in her self pity a while longer. Before I made any type of decision.

Looking at Ray I waited for him to speak.

“I saw Dakota in the corridor and shit she looks like crap.”

This caught my interest straight away. “What did she have to say?” I asked.

“She knows she done wrong man big time and fuck she’s in love with you, you could see it and hear it in her voice.”

I didnt want to accept the words from Ray’s mouth but I knew that he wasnt a person to lie, he would always tell it how it was no matter what.

Nodding I continued to listen.

“Look Gee I’m not gonna tell you what to do, but if you love her well then don’t loose her. Dakota knows she done wrong and she accepts full responsibility for it. But at the same time your heart is breaking and so is her’s if that’s the case then go to her, tell her how you really feel.”

“I cant Ray, she’s hurt me too much, I don’t think I can forgive her.” I replied.

“Look I know bro it’s hard, I haven’t gone through what your going through especially after Eliza, but Dakota’s she’s different I can feel it” Ray said as he walked out of my room.

Sitting on my bed I started to think if I really could forgive her, would there be a future for us or was this it. Did I make her suffer or did I run to her and take her in my arms. It was so hard and confusing I had no idea what to do.