Missing Alex

When all of our stuff was packed we started down the stairs. I had left a note on the kitchen counter explaining everything. The note read:

Dear Mom and Andy,

I took Brittany to grandma’s. She shouldn’t be around all of this chaos. And tell ya the truth, I shouldn’t be either. This is insane. No one should have to live in a condition like this. I’m not sure when we will be back, or if we will ever come back. We did leave some of our stuff her. I have my cell phone so you can call when you’ve resolved all of your issues. We didn’t run away, we just need a safe and QUIET household for a few days.

Sincerely,
Anna and Brittany

We weren’t really running away. I would never put Brit through that. But we did leave. I walked out the door, bags in one hand, Brittany on my hip, and my eyes in sadness. I can’t believe that this is what it had come to: us seeking safety at my Grammy’s house.

I put Brittany into the car seat in the back, and buckled her in. I loaded the bags into the trunk and ran around to the driver’s side. Before I even started the car Brittany asked, “Why are we going to grandma’s?”
“I just thought that we should see her for a few days.”
“Oh. I was just wondering.” She paused. “Anna?”
“Yea.”
“Are you ok?”
“No.” I responded, trying to keep my eyes on the road.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Ok.” She agreed.

I couldn’t tell her what was going on with me. I couldn’t tell anyone. Alex was the only one who knew about my problem. When she was here it wasn’t as bad, but ever since she left I was going down a road I wanted no part of. I knew this wasn’t what I should do, I just couldn’t help it. Nothing at all seemed in balance.

The rest of the car ride was silent. A sound neither of us were used to. My phone rang and even though I didn’t want to talk, I answered it.

“Hello.”
“Hi, Anna?” the other person asked.
“Yea. Umm who is it?”
“It’s Nate. I wanted to know if you wanted to go get a slice of pizza with me Jake and Logan. Your brother can come to.” He paused. “If he wants.”
“As much as I want to, I can’t. I have family coming over. You know, Brandon’s home and everything. What about tomorrow?” I asked. I completely forgot that I’m “getting Brandon from the air port”
“Tomorrow’s fine.” He answered.
“Ok. I’ll call you with the details either late tonight or early tomorrow. OK?”
“Sure.”
“Great. I got to go; I’m taking Brandon and Brittany to my Grandma’s. Her car broke down and she can’t come to see us, so we are gonna go see her. Ya know, a nice little surprise.”
“Well drive safe and talk to you later I guess.” He made sure I was always following the rules.
“Alright, bye”
“Bye” He sounded so disappointed.

Nate wanted me to go out with him. I have liked him forever and the one night I he wants to go out, I’m living a lie. Damn! Life is so unfair.