Stupidly Blinded

I was so angry, I hated every single cell of my body. There was a faint knock on my bedroom door.

“Nicole.. Please open the door.. Please..” I heard my best friend Ryan pleading. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I didn’t deserve to talk to anyone. Specially not him. Anyone but him.

“Please Nicole.. I need you,” I heard him whisper, hurt. My heart tightened and I slowly got up from my bed and opened the door, with an emotionless expression on my face.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. I didn’t move or jumped on him forgiving him, like many times before. This time things were different. He was different.

“No, Ryan.. I’m sorry,” I monotonously replied.

“Nicole.. Please.. I was just.. angry, I wasn’t thinking straight. Please forgive me,” He took a step closer, causing me to step back.

“Why would you say that, then? Why would you be ashamed of being my best friend? Why would you trash talk me? How could you even think I would do such thing,” I, for the first time that night, said angrily.

“You don’t understand, Nicole. I don’t want to be your friend, let alone your best friend,”

That reply slowly shattered my heart to pieces.

“Fine then, you can leave,” I was too angry to say anything more.

“Look, when I saw you with.. Franco.. I was angry.. Not at you, of course. But because of you. You kissed him, and I just lost it. I decided to forget about you, who you were to me once and focussed on hating you. But I couldn’t...” He trailed off. He didn’t know what to say, he confused me. Why would he be mad?

“You were telling me to go out with him in the first place,” I said loudly, tears flowing like waterfalls.

“How blind can someone be? Nicole, you’re just too stupid to-” I cut him off.

“Oh, now you have enough balls to say that to my face?!” I nearly shouted. I stomped back to my bed sitting upon it. “Well, thank you for that, eh? Now that I know how stupid I am, you can leave,” I replied bitterly.

“No. You need to listen to me,”

“No. You listen to me. I don’t need or want to listen to my ex-best friend, so be the gentleman you once were and leave,” I hissed.

“No,” Was all he replied. Anger boiled inside me.

“Leave now, Ryan. I don’t want to see you or ever hear from you. Because you know, ‘I’m so stupid and blind to see that Franco was using me because I look like a fucking whore’ right?” I screeched using his own words.

“I didn’t mean that,” He whispered.

“You sure as hell did, when you were making fun of how ugly I actually was,”

“I didn’t mean that either, Nicole..”

“Oh, and how about when you said I was just a sex toy for every guy I ever dated? Or when you said I needed to lose weight or I would look just like ‘disgusting cafeteria lady’? But I’ve got to admit, that was pretty funny,” I bitterly laughed.

“But I love you, Nicole...” He whispered.

“Well, I thought you hated being my friend? Or did I hear wrong?”

“That’s the problem right there, Nicole! You don’t get it! I do hate being your friend!” He shouted furiously.

“Then why are you here?! Why do you say you love me, yet you hate being my friend?!” I screamed helplessly, dropping my face on my hands and just let the tears fall.

“Because I do love you! You’re just too stupid, and let me finish! Too stupid to see that I love you as more than just a best friend. I love you as a man can love a woman. I’m in love with you!” His loud and deep voice filled my room, and I could’ve have sworn my heart stopped.

I wanted to say something, to tell him to not joke around. Instead I laughed. Not a happy laugh, or a bitter one. But a forced one, and confused one. He didn’t yell or accused me of anything. He just waited there for me to stop laughing. When I was able to control my laughter, I stood up and walked towards him. I looked up at him. Slowly and delicately placed my hands on his strong and comforting chest. And with all my will, I pushed him as far as I could. He stumbled backwards and looked at me like a lost puppy.

“Leave,” I whispered.

“What..?”

“Leave,” I said it louder this time. Still in a state of shock, he walked out of my room, leaving me to cry myself to sleep.

Weeks passed, and I avoided Ryan at all costs. He would send flowers to my house every day and I would send them back. I knew I was being a little bit immature about the whole situation, but my best friend had just confessed he loved me. I didn’t know how I felt about that. I’ve had a crush on him, but never thought about loving him other than a friend. It hurt me to see him walking down the hall way with bags under his beautiful emerald eyes. His hair knotted and his clothes wrinkled. As more and more days passed, I grew tormented by the thoughts of never talking to him, seeing him again, or even just being with him. I decided to talk to him, I need it to.

I walked down the empty hall way, and heard two voices whispering.

“C’me on, Ryan.. Get over her,” I heard a high-pitched voice.

“Haylee, no. I love her, stop this,” Ryan said, slightly uncomfortable.

“Come on, you know you want to,” Haylee replied. I slowly peeked from the corner and she had him against his locker and placed a soft kiss on his jaw. Anger rose from no where and I found myself wanting to push her away from him.

“Yes, I want to, but not with you. I want Nicole,” He said looking away from her cleavage, pressed against his chest.

“Just a few weeks ago you said how ugly she was, Ryan,” Haylee moaned his name.

“I was..” He took a deep breath. “Jealous..”

“Pft! You jealous? Please,”

“You don’t understand, Nicole. She is the one that has my heart,” He said.

“But doesn’t want it,” Haylee said angrily.

“I know..” Ryan looked down sadly and Haylee lifted his head and leaned forward.

“Stop!”

Their head snapped, and I realized the scream was no one’s but mine. I quickly clamped my hand over my mouth. My cheeks burned in embarrassment.

“Nicole..” Ryan whispered and a small smile formed on his lips.

“I.. Uh..” I stuttered. I didn’t know what to say, yet I said the first thing that came to my mind, “Uh, sorry. Bye,” And I turned around walking the opposite way.

“Wait, Nicole!” Ryan shouted after me, causing me to walk faster. Before realizing it, I was spun around and landed on a hard surface. Ryan’s chest.

“I love you,” He whispered. I could hear his heart speeding faster by the second. But what caused my heart to speed even faster weren’t his words, but how he was holding me. One arm was placed around my petite waist and the other one around my shoulders, keeping me in place. I looked up and his eyes were full of wonder, and fear. I quickly but willingly placed my lips on his neck.

“I love you too,” I whispered against the crook of his sweet smelling neck. He beamed and unable to protest, he twirled me around smiling the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen in my life.

“Finally,” I heard him say. I just smiled, just as happy as him. A few seconds later, he placed me down and gave me a small peck on the lips and my cheeks instantly flushed along with his.

“You’re so beautiful..” Ryan softly caressed my cheek. My cheeks now had to look a deeper shade of red. “And completely adorable when you blush..”

I looked down embarrassed. “T-Thank you..”

“You don’t need to be nervous, Nicole,” He reassured me. I nodded slowly. After a few seconds he broke the silence.

“I’ve been meaning to ask.. Would you enlighten me by being my date for prom?” He asked interlocking our fingers together.

“Yes,” I said in a small voice, smiling at him.

We skipped that day, to go to the park and just talk. He stole a kiss now and then, but it didn’t go father than that. Every time he would touch me or compliment me, I would instantly blush and stutter. After a while everything went back to normal. Except we would have more physical contact. Nonetheless, I was glad to have him. I smiled at the thought.

As prom arrived, I was getting more nervous by the minute. I walked down the stairs to be blinded by repetitive flashes.

“I can’t see!” I shouted, causing everyone in the living room to stop. “Thank you,” I huffed.

“Baby,” My mother sang. “Ryan is here,” I blushed and walked towards the kitchen, where he was eating a sandwich.

“Hey,” I smiled.

“Hey, wanna see what I-” He looked up and his eyes widen, his jaw dropped and I saw the sandwich he was eating was ham. I giggled at his face.

“Close your mouth, there are flies near by,” I teased. His mouth snapped closed and he quickly chewed and swallowed.

“You.. Look..” He struggled finding the right word. “Breath-taking..”

“Thank you, you’re not too bad yourself,” I complimented him.

“Well, lets go to the porch, so you guys can leave,” My mother proposed. We walked outside and Ryan placed his hand on my pink prom dress.

“Smile,” My mom urged. We both did and she snapped a picture.

“I love you, baby,” I turned to Ryan and smiled at his words.

“I love you, too,” Was my reply and another without both of us realizing it, my mother had snapped a picture that would be kept forever in my heart.