Forbidden Sunrise

Rowen's P.O.V

I sat in the darkness, thinking, a bottle of a alcohol in my hands, which I had to beg to Mikey for me to get.

Sighing, I swung my feet and stood, taking another swig, making me stumble a bit, I walked over to the Stereo, it had Mikey's Ipod on it, which I borrowed, It zinged to life as I scrolled down searching for any tune to help me block out the misery, but instead I picked a very sad song, I clicked play and taped my fingers on the bottle as I waited for it to load.

As i heard the piano and violin verse, I took another swig as I sung the lyrics,

"I open my eyes, I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light"

I took another swig, as I twirled around,

"I can’t remember how
I can’t remember why
I’m lying here tonight"

Yes, when did my life turn upside down? When did this mess even happen? When did life itself, turn meaningless to me?

"And I can’t stand the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain"

I was pretty sure, drinking would make it go away, for I haven't drank in my life, but the pain I feel right now, could be enough to kill a person, the question though, why am I still here?

"How could this happen to me?
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream"

Tears were now falling, as kept on dancing slowly to the song, driking as I did.

"How could this happen to me?"

I wiped the tears, and took another swig, as I kept on singing

"Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again"

Visions of the people that I love were burning before, they screamed my name, but I couldn't move.

"So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can’t explain what happened
And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t..."

The visions changed, instead it was flashbacks of the time, that felt like so long ago, when everything was fine, when everyone was happy, but as my memories unraveled, all the good time, I just noticed, were short, and it came back to the present were I am now, and all the things that I did, the pain that I caused, the trouble, the miseries, the deaths that I caused,

I just want to scream,

"How could this happen to me!!
I made my mistakes!!
I’ve got no where to run!!
The night goes on!!
As I’m fading away!!
I’m sick of this life!!
I just wanna scream!!!
How could this happen to me!?!"

As the words rolled out of my tongue, the alcohol that I drank went straight through my head, my vision was getting blurred, as I swayed and stumbled on my own feet, I closed my eyes waiting for the impact on the floor, but it never came instead, someone caught me, and held me tightly, exactly at right moment when the guitar and piano solo kicked in.

He held me more tightly, as the smell of him, filled my nose, I knew that smell, it smelled good, a mix of cigarettes and alcohol,

Gerard held me tight as he placed his chin on my head, again, my hands were on my sides, hands balled into fists, my face was blank.

"I'll make it all better Rowen, I promise," He reassured me, as we swayed gently, "I'll never let them hurt you, I promise," (Oh my God! A pun!)

I tried to search for words to say, I wanted to push him away, but I couldn't instead I cried silently, hands still on my sides,

He swayed us again, trying to calm me down, this time I finally found the courage to push him away,

"Gerard," I croaked pulling away from him, "What are you doing here?"

Gerard looked into my eyes, his eyes were full worry, "Rowen..I--"

"No, Gerard," I interrupted, "Don't try to stop what's happening, you--you can't stop this, no matter what it's going to happen."

Gerard shook his head, "No! No! It can't Rowen.. I--I love you."

"I love you too Gerard," I smiled weakly at him, "That's why I'm doing this."

He scowled, "This is how you'll show that you love me? By--By giving yourself to that bastard?!"

I stared into his hazel eyes and cupped his face, "It's the only way for you not to feel what I felt."

"What are you trying to say?"

but before I could answer a wave of dizziness, enveloped me, I fell again and Gerard caught me, and it all went black.

Gerard's P.O.V

I caught her, as she passed out, dropping the alcohol bottle on her hands, that was already empty, I sighed as lifted her to bed.

I laid ther next to her, caressing her hair, as she twitched, I frowned as I saw more bruises on her neck.

The first time I saw today, I was lost in thought, she was just breathtaking, but when I looked closer that's when I noticed several bruises everywhere, and big purple-ish bags under her eyes, her eyes were full of remorse, anger, sorrow.

Rowen sighed, "I--I'm sorry, I have to do this.."

I smiled, she still talked in her sleep. I wonder if Stefan ever noticed that, I placed my chin on top of her head, still caressing her head,

"I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets," I said, as I inhaled her scent which I missed so much,

"I'm trying, I'm trying to let you know just how much you mean to me,
and after all the things we put each other through."

I sang to her, from the words that were popping in my head, on how much I loved her.

"and I would drive on till the end with you, a liquor store or two,
keeps the gas tank full, and I feel like there's nothing left to do, but prove myself to you, and we'll keep it running,"

Visions of me and her, running away, somewhere, where everything doesn't matter, all that mattered was me and her.

"But this time, I mean it
I'll let you know just how much you mean to me
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of everything
I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know how much you mean
As days fade, and nights grow
And we go cold"

How much will I do, to make everything alright? I'm giving all of my existence and still nothing is going right.

I grabbed Rowen's hand and entwined it with mine, seeing the bite mark that I left, it was fading, but I frowned, as I remembered it.

"All we are, all we are....Is bullets I mean this"

I paused for minute, all the memories flooding back, all the good times unraveling to the present time, where we were now, anger filled my system, I'll do everything

"As lead rains, will pass on through our phantoms!
Forever, forever!
Like scarecrows that fuel this flame we're burning
Forever, and ever!
Know how much I want to show you you're the only one
Like a bed of roses there's a dozen reasons in this gun"

I was slightly screaming now, she flinched a bit, and I calmed down, inhaling her scent again,

"And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood
And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down
And in this pool of blood, and as we're falling down
I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood
I'll meet your eyes, I mean this forever"

I whispered, as I gently got up, making sure not to wake her.
I kissed her forehead, "I mean this forever"

*****

The servants in the house were getting ready for the ceremony now, everyone was decorating,

I wanted to stop it, break it all, but I was defenseless, when Stefan strangles us, he didn't even use much energy just adding a bit of pressure, what if he used all his strength? I would've died.

I crossed my fingers, I was anxious, Alec, hurry up