Frightened Blue Eyes

“Max it was so amazing! He was so kind and he called me baby and he held my hand and I think I might be in love.” I sighed helplessly as I sank down onto Max’s bed. My eyes were glazed over as I thought about how wonderful my life was. Nicky made me so happy and he didn’t even have to try.

“Good for you. When are you going to tell mum?” He asked as he sat down next to me. I blinked and frowned at him.

“Why would I tell mum? She would say I’m too young to be in love and that I shouldn’t even be thinking about that sort of thing yet.” Max laughed at me.

“And what sort of thing would you be thinking about? A fairytale wedding with a huge cake and your handsome prince sweeping you off your feet. Would you wear a huge frilly white dress? I bet you would.”

“Max! I might be gay, but I’m not a girl.”

“But you do want to marry him don’t you. You want to live with him for the rest of your life and have lots of babies.” I raised my eyebrows at him, he really seemed more into all this than I did.

“Again Max, I am not a girl so I will not be having babies anytime soon, it’s a biological impossibility.” Max smirked at me.

“You know what I mean. Or maybe you are thinking about more dirty things, like having him fuck you in every imaginable place. You want him to take you virginity!” Max screamed with laughter. I blushed. I had to admit I had thought about marrying Nicky and even adopting children with him but I hadn’t actually got round to thinking about sex just yet. But Max had got me started, maybe I was abnormal to not think about sex yet. Maybe I should have already lost my virginity to someone! I began to panic maybe I was a freak and Nicky wouldn’t want a creepy virgin.

“Max.” I said after a short pause. He looked at me, his blue eyes still shining with laughter. We had the same eyes, everyone told us that, out fathers eyes, unfortunately. “When did you loose your virginity?” Max went pail then blushed.

“I wish I was like you, I wish I had waited until I found someone I actually liked.” I blinked and watched him until he started talking again. “I lost mine when I was about your age I guess. All my friends were talking about it and saying that they had done it and I thought they really had. Stupid really. I began to freak out about it but I didn’t do anything, I wouldn’t know where to start. Then I got invited to a party. A mate of mine’s older brother was having a party and there would be alcohol so of cause we all turned up and got hammered. I don’t really remember much, but I ended up fucking some girl four years older than me that I had never met before. I don’t even think I knew her name.” Max looked terrible, his face was pail and his eyes were full of regret. “All I remember of loosing my virginity is that it was sticky and squishy and there were really big fake boobs.” Max looked up at me, his eyes were wide and sincere. “Don’t do what I did! As your older brother I’m telling you sex is not what everyone bigs it up to be. You have to wait until you’re ready, I wasn’t and I really regret it. None of my friends had actually done it really, so I was the first.” Max shivered and hugged me. I think he needed it much more than I did. I hugged back. It shocked me when I felt soft sobs shake through his body. He looked up at me with tear filled eyes. “Don’t make the same mistake I did. Sex really isn’t worth it, nether is popularity. I would give almost anything to get my virginity back. So hold onto yours until you’re sure you’re ready to loose it, because you won’t be able to get it back.” I nodded and pulled Max back into a hug.

“I won’t, don’t worry.”