False Pretense

“I’m not sorry.”

I glanced to my left and noticed Hermione sitting against the wall, a book in hand.

“You were waiting for me?”

“You’re an idiot sometimes you know that? Of course, Ginny heard parts of the argument you had with Malfoy and I wanted to make sure you’re okay. I know things with him are far from easy.”

I scoffed, but walked to her and slid down the wall at her side.

“Before you ask, Harry asked, I wouldn’t just, I’m not that kind of friend. He’s, he’s not like Ron, he can keep secrets.”

“You didn’t tell him about last week did you?”

She pulled me down, putting my head in her lap and let me adjust myself before she started running her fingers through my hair.

“No and I wouldn’t. I’ll say it again though, you should at least tell Professor Snape. What he did was wrong and he should have some form of reprimand for doing so. He’s manipulative and he used you in one of the worst ways and you let him. Calen, I, I’ve never been as scared for anyone as I was the moment you stumbled into this room that night. I’ve never seen you so broken before.”

I closed me eyes, I couldn’t take the emotions that were flitting across her face.

“Can we change the subject?”

“No.”

I looked up at her, her face determined and I knew that look, you don’t stand a chance when that look is directed at you. I just sighed.

“What do you want me to say Mione? That I’m thrilled one of the hottest blokes in school fancies me? I can’t stand him; I never have been able to. Not even growing up. My father and I hated going to their manor for holiday gatherings and other social bits. He blackmailed me into that, and I can’t say anything about it because he’ll go straight to my mother.”

“So you just let him use you like that? What, what if you started dating someone? Would you still let him do that to you?”

I sat up and stared at her, my eyes hardening in hatred, not towards her, but for the situation.

“I wouldn’t have a choice! You remember what I told you about our society, the pureblood society within the wizarding world? The wealthiest have a smaller society all of their own. My generation is the first in many years that is permitted to choose their own potential spouse, if not, I’d have been betrothed at birth to some girl I would never meet till she walked down the isle at our wedding.”

I felt her hand on my back, rubbing up and down. It wasn’t soothing, it was annoying. I shrugged her off and climbed to my feet.

“I’m sorry I, I should not be taking this out on you. I, I’ll just see you tomorrow, well, after the match, well tomorrow evening?”

She just offered a sad smile and nodded.

“Here?”

I nodded and headed out of the room. I didn’t want to head to the common room, Malfoy could still be there and I really didn’t feel like dealing with him—especially after earlier. It was like he’s two different people. Well more like three; he’s got his quidditch captain persona, then there’s the Slytherin Prince bit everyone force feeds him, and then, then there’s the manipulative bastard that no one sees except me.

I ended up on the seventh floor, a corridor that had some hideous tapestries. A door suddenly opened down the hall in front of me and someone stepped out. As soon as they did it shut and disappeared. I’d know that mop of unruly hair anywhere—Potter. He froze when he saw me and I could only stare. He looked how I felt. He took a few steps towards me, stopping two feet away.

“I, I was on the stairs when you and Malfoy…”

I clenched my jaw.

“I told you I don’t need your pity.”

He took a step forward and his hard gaze met my own.

“You don’t have it Jameson, you’ve never had it. I asked her because you intrigued me because you are so unlike the rest of your house mates.

He had backed me into a wall. We just stood there, breathing and staring at each other. He narrowed his eyes.

“He doesn’t have to use you.”

I shoved him away, pushing as hard as I could till he ended up with his back to the opposite wall and fisted his shirt.

“I don’t care what she’s told you or what you thought you overheard! What’s between me and Malfoy is between me and him. You can’t help it Potter, you and your bloody hero complex, the war is over, you don’t need to save anyone anymore. And leave me alone.”

“I can’t.”

I dropped my hands from him. I just stared at him. His eyes vibrant, but something darker loomed in their edges. I took a step backwards, realizing how close I was to him. With dawning realization, I knew what that small, almost inaudible I can’t meant. I turned and ran away from him. Leaving him leaning against the wall, his eyes full of something I really never wanted directed at me from anyone—not even Mione.

I raced down to the common room and to my dorm. I flung myself down on my bed and closed the drapes. I heard the door open and click shut, the lock sliding into place; I knew who was here. The curtains opened and Blaise stood, looking down at me, questions dancing through his eyes. I just nodded and he slid into bed with me. I sat up, leaning against the headboard and he sat against the foot of the bed.

“You ready for tomorrow? I think you’ll do great.”

I barked out a sound that was a mixture of a laugh and a sob. I tried to smile but it was watery.

“Is he really sorry? Did he really mean that apology earlier?”

He nodded; he wouldn’t say anything. That’s now how these conversations worked between us. He always waited till I was done having my say, then he’d take a few minutes to think over all he had just listened to and then he’d be the friend I know him to be.

“After the game, win or lose, I think, I’m just going to disappear for a while. No one should ask, well Mione might, but just tell her, tell her I’ll be where I said I would at eight.”

He was looking at me, not like he usually does; it was like he was trying to figure something out.

“You’re not telling me everything. What happened after you left Draco?”

“I went to see Mione. We talked, I got defensive and left, took a walk.”

He raised an eyebrow at me.

“He doesn’t ask out of pity. He’s actually a great guy.”

It took me half a second to realize who he was talking about.

“How would you know?”

He just smirked at me. He scooted to the edge of my bed, opening the curtains and throwing his legs over the edge.

“You thought you’re the only Slytherin with friends in other houses? Who do you think I spend my Thursday evenings with? Get some sleep Calen. You’ll need it. Don’t think too much on things, just rest and I’ll see you in the morning.”

Waking up the next morning was slightly startling for me. I didn’t remember falling asleep, but I did feel well rested, something I haven’t felt in a while. I could hear movement from my dorm mates and I slid out of bed. Standing up and coming face to face with Draco Malfoy. We simply stared at each other before he moved left and I moved right, towards my dresser. I didn’t expect that. Most mornings he leered at me and I almost felt as if I missed it.

I changed into my uniform, the game was an hour after breakfast and Malfoy wanted to go over strategies and other garb that wasted that final hour. I met Blaise in the common room and walked up to the Great Hall with him. We sat with our backs to the wall, watching the rest of the Hall. The Gryffindor team was clad in their uniforms as well; Weasley seemed to be eating more food than normal. Mione smiled when our gazes met. I chanced a glance at Potter who had his gaze locked onto the boy next to me, it seemed like they were having a silent conversation.

I glanced at Blaise, his face dancing with a lot of emotion and then back at Potter who now had a silly grin on his face. Then I his eyes moved a fraction and were looking right at me. The silly grin still on his face but his eyes seemed shocked. His cheeks tinged a light pink and he finally ducked his head and turned to Mione. I heard Blaise chuckle beside me. I went to glance back but my view of Potter was blocked by Malfoy.

“For the sake of today, can I not leave you alone? When you’re finished I’d like to talk to you, if that’s okay.”

I let my gaze flicker over his shoulder to Mione who was looking at me with slightly narrowed eyes. I bit my lip and she merely gave a slight nod.

“Sure, I’ve eaten what I could handle. Are we doing this here or did you have somewhere else in mind?”

Noticing he didn’t eat anything, he stood and nodded to Blaise who chuckled again. I stood and walked parallel to Malfoy down our table towards the doors. I glanced over my shoulder at Blaise who was now looking back across the Hall to who I presumed was Potter. He looked slightly discomforted as he shook his head and shrugged his shoulders.

I followed Malfoy out of the entrance and down towards the lake. He was taking me to my spot, well it was available to anyone but I frequented it the most. He stood not too far from the edge of the lake, loose trousers with his team sweater, showing support despite his lack of performance today.

“You’re not going to talk to me about the match are you?”

He tensed but I saw a brief nod before he finally turned to face me. I’ve never seen him look like this. He looked defeated and I didn’t even want to comprehend why I had something to do with that.

“Will you let me though?”

I nodded and sat down on the grass, giving him permission to speak freely. He ran a hand through his hair and began pacing in front of me.

“It wasn’t…at first…I…”

“Sit down.”

He stopped and looked at me and I motioned for the grass in front of me. He stared for a few seconds before he placed himself in front of me, our knees touching as we sat cross-legged. He began fidgeting with his hands—he really was nervous.

“It hasn’t been blackmail on my end the last three times. I, I owled your mother and took blame for what happened at your manor in August. I know that nothing will ever make up for what I did to you. I am sorry. I just, Calen I l—I’ve never…I don’t…”

Without warning his hands found their way to my face and he was leaning in and pressing his lips to my own. A chaste kiss—something in all the time he spent using and abusing my body, he never placed a kiss on my lips. He pulled away, my eyes never closed, his did. He kept them closed till he was sitting back in his own space and slowly opened them.

I sat there, just staring at him. My cheeks still warm from his brief touch and my lips tingled from the sudden contact. I didn’t know what to say. He took my silence as a dismissal and quickly climbed to his feet and walked swiftly towards the pitch. I watched him, his head was down and shoulders slumped. If he wasn’t prim and pristine by the time the rest of the team arrived to our hut, he would be in trouble. Blaise would automatically know something was wrong.

“Well that’s not something you see everyday.”

I jumped a little and glanced up. My eyes widened at the sight of an approaching Potter. He calmly walked up to me and sat himself down next to me as if he did it every day.

“What are you doing here?”

He just gave me a small smile and shrugged his shoulders.

“Like I said, the last time I saw and heard an encounter with Malfoy, it wasn’t exactly pleasant and well, I figured you leaving with him at breakfast might not be such a good time again.”

I raised an eyebrow at him and his cheeks tinged that same shade of light pink. I smiled inwards to myself.

“Fine, I was curious alright. It’s not every day you see the coldest bloke in school go soft in a matter of days. Then Ron mentioned the way Malfoy looked at you, like, well, he said it was like how he looks at Hermione. That’s what initially made me ask her about you and she told me that it was complicated but you weren’t in a relationship and that if I was so interested I should just ask you…”

“Are you serious? Are you really trying to have this conversation with me? You see a guy kiss me and then you swoop in and what, is it claim Jameson day? Am I unaware that I have some property label that needs to have someone’s name on? Seven years Potter, if this is a sudden interest in me, you can piss off. If it’s not sudden, still piss off. I’m not up for grabs; no one is playing for keeps, least of all you or Malfoy. Good luck with the match today.”

I climbed to my feet and started to walk away; I heard him shuffle and then his hand on my shoulder. I turned and shoved him away from me.

“Leave me alone. You said your piece last night and just now.”

I saw hurt flash through his eyes—eyes I knew I could lose myself in if I let myself—and his bottom lip go into his mouth. He just nodded and I turned and walked away. I raced towards our hut and threw myself on one of the benches.

“What’s got your knickers in a twist Jameson?”

I glared up at Blaise, an amused smirk on his mouth.

“Is there a spell or some kind of potion that’s made both Potter and Malfoy fancy me? Malfoy kissed me! He effing kissed me Blaise! Then Potter comes out of no where and pours his heart out to me.”

He just laughed at my outburst and leaned against he lockers, grinning down at me. I sat up and stared at him—what was I supposed to be figuring out?

“You don’t get it do you?”

I just shook my head.

“Calen, Malfoy’s been in love with you since we were seven, why else do you think we spent so much time at his house during the summer holidays? He always gave you the better presents at birthday and Christmas. I can’t really justify why he used you the way he did, but I suppose it was because he felt that would be the only way he’d ever get to be with you.”

I felt like I was punched in the gut. All the signs were there—seven?

“As for Potter, well, he’s watched you for three years now. He wanted to make sure the bloke Granger spent time with was decent, wasn’t going to do her any harm. Then he began to realize how different you truly were from the rest of us. Granted most of our peers don’t realize that there’s than meets the eye with our house, but still, he saw it.”

“I need to fly, tell Malfoy I’ll be ready at the start of the game. I need to go though.”

With a nod from him, I was on my feet, grabbed my broom from my locker and I was out the door and running towards the stands. I had thirty minutes before I had to be on the pitch; I went to the only other place I could be truly alone. I mounted my broom and flew up and around the castle. I flew in lazy eights, my mind reeling with this morning and even last night.

Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter fancied me. I didn’t like either of them, at least not in that manner. Malfoy, sure I’ve known for years but that’s why, I’ve known him too long and I feel like I’ve disliked him longer. Potter, well I never really gave into the whole Boy Who Lived rubbish, perhaps that’s why. Surely he was attractive and I was afraid that if he were ever that close to me again, looking at me like he was with those eyes—I was so screwed.

I wasted twenty minutes before heading back to the pitch where I met my team on the ground before we walked onto the field. Blaise stood in as Captain today; Malfoy was in the bleachers somewhere. I watched as he walked forward, shook Potters hands and then we all mounted our brooms and awaited the whistle from Madam Hooch to start the match.

The moment the whistle started I shot up into the air, circling the pitch, keeping my eyes out for the golden ball. An hour into the game Potter and I had come close once to fighting for the ball, then it zoomed out and neither of has made any notion of spotting it again. I glanced around once more and saw a glimmer of gold. I took in the surroundings and frowned. Two beaters were roughly tailing our chaser towards the goal posts; if I misjudged my speed and distance by the smallest I’d get hit. I glanced towards Potter, his back was to me, he hadn’t seen it. Could I really do it?

No more thoughts, I dove. I let the wind caress me as I stayed in line with the fluttering ball. It remained in that one spot, bouncing, as if in anticipation. I heard yelling and cheering but I refused to take my eyes off that ball. Two feet, two feet and I could wrap my fingers around it. I hadn’t reached out yet, thought I’m sure most assumed I was going after it. I reached my hand out; I could feel the air moving around the small ball, the wings fluttered over the tips of my fingers as I quickly closed them around it. I suddenly stopped, forgetting that in mere seconds—unless deterred—I would be plowed over by three players.

I heard a whistle and then the announcement that we had won. Slytherin had beaten Gryffindor. I glanced around, Potter was a few feet away and simply staring in mild shock at me, then he grinned and flew towards his team. I finally unclenched my fist and stared down at the now immobile ball. I heard cheering and yelling and even some negativity, but I didn’t care. I searched out Blaise; he was flying with a huge grin, as were the rest of my teammates. I searched in the teachers’ stand and found Professor Snape looking rather smug, a smirk on his normally blank face. I lowed myself to the ground and felt a body collide as soon as I was standing.

Arms were around me and then I knew exactly who had almost knocked me off my feet. I met her bright smile and grinned right back at her.

“I told you! I knew you could do it! He didn’t even realize what was happening, I am so happy for you!”

She kissed my cheek and hugged me again. My teammates stood back, all smiling; Blaise came forward and pulled Mione and I into a hug.

“I can’t believe it! I mean I knew you could do it, but you did it! We’re going against Gryffindor for the House Cup!”

I felt him tense and he nudged my side, signaling to our right. Malfoy; he made his way to his team—this was to be his moment, his win. I watched as he made his way towards us, he nodded a greeting at Mione before he looked directly at me.

“Good game Calen.”

His eyes alight with pure happiness and I couldn’t fight the smile that spread across my face. An identical one spread across his face and I could hear a few gasps—no one, in all his years at Hogwarts had ever seen Draco Malfoy smile.

“Thanks.”

Our eyes lingered on each other for a moment longer before he turned his attention to the rest of our team. I glanced at Blaise and Mione and realized both of them were smirking.

“What?”

“Are you sure you don’t want to give him a chance?”

“He’s right Calen, are you sure?”

They were both smirking at me, I felt so outnumbered. I glanced around the slowly emptying pitch, the Gryffindor team stood to the side, all in good spirits. I noticed Weasley staring at us, more specifically me with his girlfriend’s arms wrapped around me and my own around her. Then I looked at Potter who looked up at me and he smiled. I smiled, but it wasn’t the same as when I looked into those gray orbs full of happiness. I turned my gaze back to the platinum blonde who was smirking and nodding at others.

“Your boyfriend’s getting jealous, I’ll meet you later.”

“Later is good. I’m so proud of you!”

She pecked my cheek and nodded at Blaise and went across the field.

“Well, I’m going to see the rest of the guys. Good game Calen.”

I smiled and turned around to face my team and my house. I quietly slipped away and went to our team hut, putting my broom and gear in the locker. I slipped on my trousers and shirt before slipping back out and headed towards the lake. I sat down, letting the sun shine on me. I closed my eyes as a slight breeze danced across the grounds, lightly teasing my hair. I smiled. Tomorrow I could worry about Malfoy and Potter and the confusion both brought to me, but today, today I had won, I caught the snitch and that’s all that mattered to me.