Anchor

All of my life, I’ve worked hard. I spent hours with my nose in a dictionary to win the fifth grade spelling bee; I spent days preparing my college admission essays; and I spent months writing my first scientific manuscript. Unfortunately, it all came with a cost. I didn’t go to Wawa afterschool with all my classmates; I don’t have many friends; and I’ve never had a romantic relationship lasting more than three months. Sure, I’m pretty successful. I get money to study and travel but it always feel a bit lonely.

Every night, whether I’m in my apartment or in the deep, lush jungles of Bioko Island, I’m alone. That’s when the most depressing and horrible thoughts linger into my mind. I try to be strong and independent most of the time but when I’m lonely, I need someone to listen, someone to touch. All I want is the warmth of another.

I bit down on my lip as I knocked the door. It was about zero degrees out here with snow falling furiously. My toes and fingers felt frostbitten but I couldn’t wait any longer. I was hungry for warmth, hungry for friction.

“Lilly,” Caleb said when he opened the door.

Ever since I got back to Mays Landing, he has been on my mind; that summer long ago, that drunken kiss, that time he said he loved me. I’ve been a mess these two weeks but anything is better than the loneliness I’ve suffered through all these years.

He said my name again and that’s when I walked up to Caleb and kissed him. It wasn’t shy or hesitant as in the past, but harsh and raw.