Don't Hold Your Breath

Why is it that whenever me and Brendon have some sort of "life changing" moment, we always seem to be in the bathroom? I mean first there was the time Brendon found out about my home life, then there was the time at the diner when he told me he was in love with me, there was our first kiss, and just recently there was me making a total ass of myself and begging him to break up with his boyfriend and be with me. I wonder I it's some sort of sign.....

It's thoughts like these that keep me from finishing my homework. Every time I sit down and concentrate my mind always wonders off and I find myself thinking about him. For the last two hours I've been sitting here with a pen and paper in front of me and a text book open, yet the page remains blank, the pen unused, and the pages unturned. 

While I was daydreaming something occurred to me. 

He never actually said the words "I will break up with him and be with you." he said. "Ill think about it."

My heart started beating faster as my mind jumped to every single worst case scenario it could think of. 

What if he stays with Mikey and refuses to speak to me?

What if him and Mikey are making out at this very moment?!

What if the making out leads to something further and he takes my Brendon's virginity?!!?

I about hit my head on the ceiling when my phone rang and I jumped out of my chair. 

I cussed under my breath and picked up the phone. My heart rate sped up when I saw the caller ID. 

What if he's calling to tell me he chooses Mikey, and he never wants to see me again!?

I took a minute then realized the phone was still ringing and it would probably be a good idea to answer it. So I flipped it open. 

"H-Hello?" I said nervously. 

"Hey Ry, can you come over for a little bit? I need to talk to you." Oh no. 

He's going to do this the hard way. 

He's going to end it with me, and I'm going to break down crying like the pathetic weakling I am. 

I gulped before speaking. 

"Um, s-sure. I'll be over in a bit." 

"Okay, cool. Bye." 

I Hung up the phone and raced to the bathroom. 

I was going to make him think twice before dumping me. I was going to look damn sexy. 

And I know I sound like a desperate fool, but that might just be because I am.

I styled my hair into the so called "Ryhawk", and added a bit of eyeliner. I then changed into the tightest pair of black skinny jeans I owned, and a thin white v neck. I just hope his parents weren't home to see this. 

I headed over to his house, butterflies about to explode in my stomach. I noticed I was shaking when I reached my hand up to knock on the door. After a couple knocks he finally answered. I smirked when his eyes widened at my appearance. 

"Um, c-come in." he opened the door wider and gesture for me to follow him. 

I followed him up to his room. I kept my eyes on the back of his head. This might be the last I see of him for a while. But once I walked in, I decided I didn't want to see his facial expression when he dumped me, so I kept my eyes on the ground, on my hands when I sat on the couch. 

"So.... Um...." he started as he closed the door behind me. 
I looked up at him, not being able to resist any longer, and he had a huge grin slapped across his face. 

This could mean one of two things. 

Either he ended it with Mikey, or he is the most cruel person alive. 

"I broke up with Mikey." He said nonchalantly as he sat down next to me. My eyes widened and I didn't know what to say. I just sat there agape. "He wasn't exactly happy, but he said he saw it coming. He said he was beginning to wonder when you and me would finally get together." 

I still didn't know what to say. So instead I just leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. He kissed me back, and finally, it felt right. Technically this wasn't our first kiss, but it was the first to actually mean something. 

I pulled away and glanced at his face. He was grinning hugely, and so was I. I leaned forward again and kissed him once, twice, three more times. The third time I didn't pull away. Instead I pushed him back and laid on top of him not disconnecting our lips. It was a bit of an awkward position on the tiny couch. 

This wasn't a lust filled kiss. Something I wasn't used to. This kiss was filled with emotion, tenderness, and just plain love. I deepened the kiss and felt him smile under my lips. He pushed me away too soon. 

"My parents are going to be home soon." he whispered in my ear. 

I pulled back and gave him a pouty face. 

He studied my face for a second then pecked me on the cheek, and sat up pushing me back so we were both sitting up. 

"Oh well. We'll have plenty of time for that later." I said standing up. 

"So... Does this mean were together now?" he looked up at me pulling his mouth up into a half smile. I held back a grin and walked over sitting on his lap and wrapping my arms around his neck. 

"Brenny do you want to be my boyfriend?" he smiled even wider if that was possible, and kissed me again. 

"Of course" He smiled up at me. 

~*~

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked me as we stood outside the school. 

"I'm positive." I honestly had nothing left to loose. Except Brendon. But this was for him. The guys hate me anyways. Now it was just a matter of breaking it off with Elizabeth. She wasn't going to be happy about this. In fact she would hate it. Being dumped for another guy. 

Although, Brendon didn't want me to come out to the school yet. He was worried that I would get the "wrath of Pete, Gabe, and their possy". But I told him it wasn't fair to him if I went back to the way I was. 

"Alright." he sighed. I grabbed his hand and walked in. We were followed by Spencer, Jon, Frank, and Mikey. Who, was surprisingly, acting cool about me and Brendon. Spencer and Jon have lightened up on me a little bit. I guess Brendon must have told them something. 

As soon as she came into view, I dropped his hand. She was standing at her locker with a group of friends, cellphone in hand. I turned to Brendon. 

"Will you come with me?" I asked. He nodded. 

"Lead the way." he held out one arm towards Elizabeth. I did as instructed. When I reached her she looked up at me and wrapped her arms around my waist. Her friends all giggled, but I just looked at Brendon, who was holding back a laugh. 

"Ryan, why didn't you call me last night?" she scolded.

"I-" I've never been good at this. So I unwrapped her arms from my waist and took a step back. She looked offended and surprised. 

"We're over." I put bluntly. Brendon was trying extremely hard not to laugh. 

"You're kidding me right?!" She exclaimed. I crossed my arms then looked at her. Not saying a word. "Ryan!" she just about screeched. I smirked and reached out grabbing Brendon's hand, lacing my fingers through his. She looked between us and her expression became horrified.

"You mean.... You..... And him.....?" she pointed to both of us then slammed her locker and stormed off. Some of the girls ran after her and some just stood there in shock. 

Yup. Ryan Ross, the boy every girl wants, is gay.

I turned around to see the expressions on Brendon's friends faces. Spencer and Jon were in shock, and Frankie and Mikey looked amused. I had a huge grin slapped across my face as did Brendon. 

~+~

I sat down at a table I never new existed underneath an oak tree outside the school. This was where Brendon and all his friends sat every day to avoid the harassing and bullying that comes along with being the school fag. It was actually pretty nice and peaceful. There were a few other people around. Some loners come to escape the chaos and drama that is high school, and a few other groups of outcasts who just want to escape the "in crowed". 

I guess now that I think about it I have seen people here, but never really thought much of it. To wrapped up in myself to notice or give it much thought. 

We made it about half way through lunch with out trouble. We were actually having fun. Not just sitting around engaging in mindless chatter pertaining to the latest gossip. But sadly, my fun ended when Gabe and Pete approached. They were alone, which was strange. We all stopped our laughter when we spotted them. 

"So Ryan, I was thinking about giving you another chance. That was, until you went and hooked up with this looser." Pete said motioning towards Brendon. I turned red with anger. 

"Don't call him that." I mumbled and turned away, hoping they would just leave. But my plan sadly failed. 

"Sorry, didn't mean to offend your boyfriend." Pete added in a nasty sarcastic manner. 

"Go fuck yourself Pete. Better yet, go fuck Gabe. It doesn't matter. You idiots are all the same to me.". Ha. I held back a victory smirk. That was an awesome comeback. 

They both turned red, either from anger or embarrassment. Couldn't tell which. All that mattered was what I knew was coming next. Pete walked over and pushed me off the table I was sitting on, to the ground. Causing me to fall hard on my ass. With this Brendon stood up and faced Pete, as if to challenge him. 

"What the hell Pete? Just back off already." Brendon defended. 

"what are you gunna do about it?" Gabe interjected.

What came next I really didn't expect. Brendon clenched his fist then proceeded to punch Pete square in the jaw, with more force then I knew that boy had in him. Brendon seemed pretty satisfied with himself until Pete returned the favor, only tackling him completely to the ground rather then just one punch. But Brendon wouldn't give up so easily. He fought back just as hard as Pete, clawing, punching, kicking. 

And Pete was winning.

I had to help Brendon. 

I got up and ran over, trying to pry Pete off of him.  

Suddenly my fathers drunken face flashed in my mind. And I could have sworn I saw him in Pete's place. 

It scared me half to death. 

The next thing I know I'm on the ground. Everything is dark, and all I here are voices yelling to get me to the nurse, and to get the principal. The last thing I feel is someone lift me of the ground, then I'm lost in unconsciousness. 

~*~

I woke up in an unfamiliar room I soon identified as the nurses office. I sat up and looked around. I spotted Brendon sitting in a chair next to my bench bed thingy looking out the window. His face was all bruised up, and he had bandages all up and down his arms. 

"Bren?" I asked and he looked over at me. He looked relieved. 
He stood up and walked over, sitting next to me. 

"I'm so glad you're okay. What happened? I looked over and you were unconscious on the ground. You nearly gave me a heart attack." 

"I just..... I don't know. The fighting just kinda got to me I guess. It was a little much. Especially since it was you....." I was a bit shocked by my choice in words. I looked up to see his reaction. He looked guilty. But when he caught my eye he pulled me into a hug. 

"I'm sorry sweetie." he whispered. 

I pulled back and gave him a smile. "Its okay. Just no more fighting okay? Although I do appreciate you standing up for me." I took a second look at his bruises and bandages. "Are you sure you're okay?" I asked. 

"Yeah I'm fine. I got a week detention though for starting a fight." he admitted. 

"What about Pete and Gabe?" I questioned. 

"They split before the principal showed up. Spencer wanted me to rat them out, but that's just what they expect me to do." I rolled my eyes. "besides, why would I want to spend an hour After school alone with them for a week?"

"I guess you have a point."i said getting up. "How long have I been out?"

"about 30 minutes. They're going to call my parents to come pick me up due to my injuries. But I'm just wondering how I'm going to explain to my parents that I got in a fight to defend my boyfriend." 

"Just tell them some guy was picking on your friend and you tried to defend him. It's kind of true...." 

"Yeah I guess. My parents are going to be here shortly to pick me up. They can probably take you home too." he said as he walked over and placed a kiss on my lips. 

"What was that for?"

"well, I'm probably going to be grounded for the rest of my life, so I might not get to see you for a while."

I smirked and leaned forward kissing him again. Only this time deepening the kiss. 

"There's still school." I mumbled pulling back for just a second. I went to press my lips to his again but he pulled away standing up. 

"You're right. I guess we can do this later then." he smirked as he walked towards the door. I just sat there with an exaggerated look of shock on my face. 

"Tease" I mumbled as he walked out the door. But soon got up to follow.