Don't Hold Your Breath

Alright so.... Me and Brendon have been dating for a couple months now. Graduation was just a few months away and we already had plans for college.

Jon and Spencer have finally accepted me into their little group. Hopefully they're beginning to trust me. We had been spending a lot of time at Vicky's apartment with Mikey, Frankie, Gerard, Ray, and they're buddy who moved here from New Jersey, Bob. Turns out Mikey has quite the crush on bob, which means he's over Brendon. Which is good.

At this very moment, I'm watching a movie with my beautiful boyfriend whose parents are gone for the weekend. Well I guess "watching" isn't exactly the right word. More like ignoring. While he was on top of me.

My tongue burst through his lips, not even thinking to ask for entrance. I explored ever inch of his mouth. My hands roaming up and down his body memorizing every curve, every inch. I couldn't believe this boy was finally mine. And I was his.

Now many people aren't so lucky to find their true love as their very first.

Yes. I said love.

Now I know a lot of people might say "Every person thinks that their first love is their true love."

But there is just no way that I can love a person this much, only knowing him for this small portion of time, and not have it be true love.

This boy, the one on top of me at this very moment, has cracked the code. Before I met him, I was the Ryan Ross that was afraid of commitment. The Ryan Ross that would repeatedly cheat on his girlfriends that he secretly couldn't stand, just to uphold my rank. I was the boy who never even thought about finding a love so strong..... That it cannot be described unless you've experienced it before yourself.

I wish I could tell him this, but I don't think I could find the words. Plus I wouldn't want to scare him off. But I'm almost certain that he feels the same about me. Otherwise he wouldn't have put up with me for so long.

He continued to kiss me, and my mind continued to wonder. So sadly, neither one of us heard the car pull up. And we didn't even separate when we heard the door open. It wasn't until we heard the gasp and the "Oh my god" from a voice I didn't recognize, that we flew apart. I looked up and saw a short girl with long dark brown hair pulled back into a tight bun. She looked a lot like Mrs. Urie.... Oh great. This must be one of Brendon's sisters. And by the way she was looking at us, with total disgust in her eyes, I could tell she didn't what she saw.

"C-Carmen. W-What are you doing here." Brendon stuttered.

"Mom called and asked me to house sit while they were gone. I'm surprised she didn't tell you. Or maybe you were just too busy making out with y-y" she didn't finish the last sentence. She just glared at me. "Brendon what the hell is going on?! Are you....." she couldn't even say the word.

"I don't see how that any of your business." Brendon crossed his arms and muttered.

"Brendon, it is my business! You're my little brother! I'm not going to let you grow up to be a..... A fag!" god how I hated that word. Which is why when she said that I stood up and began to defend my boyfriend.

"Who the hell do you think you are!? God? You can't tell him who he can and cannot like! you people are all insane!" I said throwing my arms up in anger.

"I'm his sister! And I'm not going to let him choose-"

"Choose?!" I interrupted her. "He- I- We didn't choose anything. Do you really think I would choose to live like this?! Being harassed and looked down on by society?!"

"I think you"she said pointing at me. "need to leave. I need to talk to my brother alone." she stated bitterly.

"No." Brendon stated. "I love him and anything you have to say to me you can say in front of my boyfriend." I looked at him. He just said he loves me. He met my eye and smiled.

"I love you too." I said back. And he smiled even wider and pressed his lips to mine.

"Stop it! Stop it!" she exclaimed. I'd almost forgotten her presence. "You two don't love each other. You're just going through some weird hormonal thing! Just look at how you're dressed! This needs to stop now. I'm calling mom and dad. You need help." she said pulling out her phone. Brendon's face instantly became scared.

"No! Carmen you can't! Dad will hate me! Please don't! Please....." tears began to fall down his face. I've only seen him like this once. And it nearly broke my heart. I instantly had hate for this girl. How could she hurt someone as sweet and loving as Brendon? I instantly wrapped him in my arms, letting him cry in my shirt.

"He won't once you're fixed."

What. An. Ignorant. Bitch.

"Why are you being such a bitch?!" I yelled towards her.

"Excuse me?" she asked like she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "This doesn't concern you! Now get out!" she yelled at me.

"I'm not going anywhere unless Brendon tells me to go." I looked down at him and he shook his head no. "looks like I'm staying."

"Fine then." she pulled out her phone. Still glaring at me. "Mom, Dad. You need to come home. Now. "

~*~

Brendon and I sat on the couch awaiting the worst. Mrs. Urie had tears in her eyes and was standing back across the room. Carmen was sitting in a chair in the corner glancing out the window, and Mr. Urie was pacing back and forth across the room. I knew what would happen. They'd tell us this was wrong, and that we were sinning, then they would forbid us to see each other.

"Boys, what you're doing is wrong." Bingo. It was Mr. Urie that spoke naturally. "And normally we would forbid you two from seeing each other."

Normally?

"we wont forbid you from seeing each other, But we will forbid you from dating. And Ryan, I tried calling your father but he didn't answer, and since you're not my son then there's not much I can do. So I'm going to make a proposition for you boys. We will let you boys see each other as long as you attend a workshop at the church. The pastor has agreed to meet with you both, and you will attend meetings. It's every Saturday from 12:00 to three."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. A workshop? A fucking workshop? To turn me straight? That's fucking ridiculous.

"That's fucking ridiculous!" Brendon exclaimed. Took the words right out of my mouth.

"Brendon Boyd Urie you better watch your mouth. You are not to use that language in this household. Do you hear me boy?" his father raised his voice at him. He didn't answer. He just looked down. Probably holding back more pleasant words for his father. Mrs. Urie didn't say anything the entire time. Who knew what was going through her mind. She looked upset. I knew seeing his mother like this killed Brendon. But none of this would have happened if his bitch of a sister hadn't called them home.

"Ryan, I think it's time you go home now. We need to talk to our son." I didn't respond, I just looked at him. He me my eyes. His were filled with sorrow. I stood up not meeting either of them in the eyes. I just nodded in response and walked toward the door.

"Dad! " I heard Brendon say from behind me. "You can't do that! I love him!"

"Brendon! Sit down and shut your mouth!" I heard his father say in a very harsh voice. I heard Brendon get up off the couch and run after me. He caught me on the porch. I turned to face him. A couple tears escaped and were falling down my face.

"Ryan, I'm so sorry. But what they're doing isn't right. Well get through this together. " he said. His voice cracking.

"I know. " I nodded and tried to give him a smile. But I couldn't. "I love you." I mumbled as I pulled him into a tight hug.

"I love you too." he mumbled in my ear. He pressed his lips to mine for what would probably be the last time in who knows how long. And we both knew that. I reluctantly pulled away and saw fresh tears falling down his face.

"Ill, um, see you around okay?"

"Um, yeah, I have to go back in there and face my parents." he looked down as he said this. I pulled him in for one last hug.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. I pulled away and started walking away before he could respond.

"Its not your fault." I could have sworn I heard him mumble from behind.