Don't Hold Your Breath

I sat on my bed staring at my phone. Willing it to ring. I was pathetic. I couldn't go ten minutes with out thinking the worst. 

What if his aunt found out?

What if she forbids him to call me?

What if she hired some one to "take care" of him!?!

I was so busy, lost in my own thoughts, that I jumped, falling off my bed when the phone rang. I scrambled to pick it up, nearly heart broken when the caller ID didn't read "Ryan". I almost didn't answer. But I decided it would be a good idea just in case. I didn't want to keep my line busy, so it would cut the conversation short. 

"Hello?" I answered, surprised by the sorrow in my own voice. 

"Bren?" It was Ryan's voice on the other line. Thank God. 

"Ryan? W-what happened to your phone? Why aren't you using it?" 

"Well, crazy aunt Amy walked in on our conversation, told me she didn't want me conversing with the dark side, and took away my cell. Then I stormed out of the house and tripped over a girl who pitied me and lent me her cell phone. In fact, she's standing here right now." 

"Hi!" a girlish voice exclaimed. And not in a southern accent. It sounded more like Californian...

"Anyways, I'm really sorry Brendon." he continued. 

"Ryan! How are we going to communicate? Why does everything go wrong!" I exclaimed. I almost started tearing up. 

"Shh. Bren everythings going to be okay. W-well find a way. Even if he have to resort to writing letters the old fashion way. I may be able to call you when she's at work. Then there's always the computer." he tried to comfort me. But I knew things wouldn't be that easy. Something was going to get in the way. Nothing ever goes our fucking way. 

"What if it doesn't work?" I challenged.

"It will. Bren I will make it work. I love you." I heard someone "aww" in the background. I assumed it was this girl he told me about. 

"RYAN!!!" I heard another voice in the background. "WHAT DID I TELL YOU!! NO CONVERSING WITH THE DARK SIDE!!!" I'm assuming that was his aunt. He wasn't exaggerating. She really was crazy. 

"No! Get off me! Leave me alone!" I heard him scream. Then I heard the phone drop to the ground. "Let go!! No! This is so unfair!" I heard his voice trail off in the distance. Like she was dragging him into the house. 

"Ryan? Ryan!" I called into the phone. It was no use. It's not like he could hear me. I heard some shuffling, then a new voice appeared on the phone. 

"Um hi. I'm Kaela. He just got kinda dragged in the house by crazy Amy.... Erm. Just so you know, I am perfectly fine with you two and what not, but most people around here aren't. So you two might want to lay low." She explained. 

"Yeah don't worry, I get it. And uh thanks a lot for letting Ryan use your phone. I'm Brendon by the way."

"Ha, yeah I got that. Hey listen, why don't you add my number in my phone. This will probably be the only way to get a hold of him."

"Thanks a lot. You sure are nice for not having known him or us for very long." 

"Its no problem. Ryans the only decent person I've met in this town. Well I better go. I'll probably talk to you later. I'll let you know I If find out more about Ryan."

"Again, thank you." 

"No problem. Bye."  she hung up. 

Why the fuck am I always right? I collapsed on my bed and felt like crying into my pillow. 

I didn't though. 

My brain sparked an idea. 

I would get a job. 

I would save up enough to visit Ryan whenever I could. 

If I could get enough money I could spend spring break with him. 

Maybe even pay for him to visit. 

Yes! 

I jumped up off my bed and raced downstairs to find the news paper. I looked all over the house but I couldn't find it. 

"Mom! Where's the news paper?!" I called. 

"Why do you need it?" She called from the kitchen. 

I walked in to find here standing in front of the refrigerator looking for something to make for dinner. 

"Well I have a plan." I started. She looked up at me with a smirk on her face. 

"Does this plan happen to involve Ryan?" She guessed. 

"Yes as a matter of fact it does." I walked over and hopped up on the counter. "Well, since we are low on money, I was thinking I could get a job. Then I could save up and go visit him. And maybe even pay for him to visit us here..." I trailed off. She sighed and closed the refrigerator door. 

"Brendon, I've been meaning to talk to you about that." 

I looked at her confused. "What?" 

"Brendon.... I know you miss him. But you're going to be graduating in a few months. And right now is a very crucial time to be looking at colleges, and getting your act together before graduation. A job is really the last thing you need. I'm sorry but I think you need to hold off on that until summer." 

I looked at her like I couldn't believe what I was hearing. 

"W-What?" I stuttered. No! This can't be happening! Why must everything go so wrong! 

I felt tears come to my eyes. 

"N-No. Mom, you can't! You can't do that! Mom, I need to see him! Not like you care! You never did!" I yelled at her. I jumped off the counter and was about to run up to my room, but she blocked my path. 

"Brendon. Boyd. Urie." She growled through her teeth. "You think I don't care? You think I don't care about you or Ryan? If I didn't care would I have divorced my husband because he didn't accept you? Would I have stood up to him for you and Ryan?! If I didn't care would I have thrown away my whole marriage and chosen the poor single mother life?! Now don't get me wrong. I'm glad that bastard is out of my house. But don't ever tell me I don't care. Do you hear me?"

By now I had tears pouring down my face. She was right. I was a jerk. I collapsed in her arms. 

"I'm sorry." I sobbed. "I just miss him so much." I continued to cry into her shoulder. 

She sighed and wrapped her arms around me. "Its alright. I know you do sweetie. He's not gone forever. He'll be back." there was a pause as she rubbed comforting circles on my back. 

"Ill tell you this. I'll save up my money. After graduation we'll go visit. We can take a few of your friends if you want. They may need to pay for their own place though."  I looked up at her and gave her the best smile I could manage. 

"Thanks mom." I muttered. 

"Its alright honey. Now why don't you go upstairs and get some sleep. You have school tomorrow." She said pulling away. 

"Okay mom." I slowly dragged my feet up the stairs and collapsed on my bed. 

Three months. 

Just three months.

I'll see him in three months. 

If I don't go crazy first.