Don't Hold Your Breath

I sat around the dining room table with Brendon and Grace. Everyone else was hanging around the living room, and my aunt was at work, so I didn't have to worry about her bothering us. I made breakfast for Ms. U, Brendon and myself, since everyone else decided to go to breakfast without us.

"Wow Ry, who knew someone as scrawny as you could cook." Brendon teased with a mouth full of food.

"Ha-ha." I added sarcastically, playfully glaring at him.

"It's very good. Thank you Ryan." Ms. Urie thanked me.

"No problem." I smiled at her.

"So Ryan, how have things been around here? other then the fact that Brendon here was stuck in Vegas. . ." She asked taking a sip of her tea.

I exhaled dramatically. "Well the first few days were pretty hard. Emotionally I mean. I had quite a few problems that Kaela helped me through. But once school started up it kinda helped me take my mind off things. . . sometimes. Oh, and my aunt is completely insane." I added.

"It's true." Brendon agreed. "She sprayed me with holy water and made me wear a cross when I came over."

"And he got off easy." I added.

Grace looked amused. "See Brendon? I could be a lot worse." she teased her son, who then rolled his eyes.

I continued with a smile on my face. "Although, school was pretty miserable. This kid and his friends, the sames ones from the restaurant, have been harassing me, Kaela, and Gabe from day one." I explained.

"Yeah, that kid seemed like a jerk, I'd stay away from him." She said setting her tea down.

"Believe me, I've tried. He just wont leave us alone." I explained.

She cleared her throat before speaking again. "So, um, Ryan. . . How have you been dealing with. . . you know, what happened with your father?" She seemed hesitant.

Wow, I haven't really thought about that. Not at least for a good three months.

My father.

Who killed my mother.

How come I'm not emotionally scarred by this?

Why did it hurt me more to have to leave my boyfriend then it did that my mom is dead thanks to my dad?

I must be fucked up in the head.

I looked at Brendon before speaking. "Um, I'm not really sure. Once it happened i just kinda pushed it to the back of my head not wanting to think about it. I mean, at the time I was shocked and upset, and when I found out i had to leave, it kinda took over my emotions. Now that I think about it, I haven't seen my mom in ten years. . . Its not like I can miss her. I guess I was more angry at my father because his actions have ruined my life. . ." I stopped when I realized that I may have TMI'd a little bit. I looked up at Ms. Urie who had a sympathetic look in her eyes. As did Brendon.

"What was your mothers name?" She asked me. It seemed like a bit of a random question, but I answered nonetheless.

"Sarah." It felt weird saying her name out loud. I think the last time I heard it was that night when I came home to find my house swarmed with cops.

Grace's eyes widened and she nearly dropped her fork. "W-what was her maiden name?" she asked in all seriousness.

I looked at her slightly confused. "Um, Rocia I think. . ."

Her eyes widened even more and this time so did Brendon's. She sat up straight and placed her hands on her forehead looking like a stressed out mother. Brendon just sat there in shock.

"W-whats going on?" I asked nervously. She looked up at me with sympathetic eyes. "Ryan, Rocia is my maiden name. Sarah Rocia is. . . was. . . my sister."

I didn't respond. If My mother was her sister then that means. . .

Brendon and I . . . we're. . .

I looked over at him, and he looked at me. He looked as if he was going to burst. Then the next thing I know, he's out the door. . .