Losing Touch

John

“Yes?” I asked as I stood up, preparing for the worst.

“She woke up and is perfectly fine, so we can take her to your car in a few minutes after you sign her out and we grab a wheelchair for her.” I sighed in relief.

“Yeah, I’ll go back and see her in a minute. I need to call her brother.” I said and Dr. Thompson walked away and I pulled out my phone to call Kennedy.

“John!? What’s happening?”

“She’s awake. I’m going to bring her home in just a little bit. I have to sign her out and they have to grab a wheelchair.” I heard him sigh, just like I did.

“That’s great… see you later bro.” he said with his voice slightly cracking.

“Okay, bye.” I hung up and shoved my cell phone back into my pocket and walked through the doors and I found Zoe lying in a hospital bed, looking extremely weak.

“Hi Zo.” I said softly as I sat next to her and took her hand. She didn’t speak back, and I completely understood. “You know, you really scared me Zoe. I thought I had lost you. When they told me you hadn’t woken up yet… I thought that, well I thought all of this was over. I could barely stand the thought. It made my heart break babe. And Kennedy, man I’m so sure he cried. I had to tell him, sorry if you didn’t want me to or anything. But I just couldn’t bear to keep him in the dark. Zoe, I love you so much.” I said passionately.

“Excuse me, Mr. O’Callaghan? Can you please sign this so we can release your wife?” a nurse asked politely about a minute after I finished telling Zoe everything on my mind.

“Uh, yeah. Where?”

“Just right here.” She said and pointed to the line on the page. I quickly signed and then she walked off and I heard her say something (that I was supposed to hear, I assumed) about a wheelchair. I just waited as I examined my wife.

She was awake and conscious, but she was completely battered from the surgery she had just gone through. I just kept smiling at her and she attempted to smile back at me. Even with the bags under her eyes, and hair unsightly - she looked like the most beautiful person in the world. Was that cheesy? Yes, but it’s just how I am.

“Are you ready to go?” a nurse asked. I nodded my head as they got Zoe in the wheelchair and I headed out to move the car a little closer to the door, so they didn’t have to wheel her out so far. I moved quickly into the driver’s side and pulled up right where they could see me. I kept the car running as I got out and went around to the passenger side to open the door and lean the seat back. Just as I looked back, they were only about a yard away.

“C’mon Zoe.” I said as I helped her stand up. She looked so fragile, and I got her into the passenger seat. The nurse smiled and told me that I would have to drain the fluids in the small container that was connected to her side at least every two hours. I nodded and she said she’d see us in a week to get it taken out.

I got into the car and I turned my iPod on so it would play Ivory songs for the trip back home. I saw Zoe smile, and then she drifted off to sleep. I hummed along with every song to keep my mind off of the drastic situations I was building up in my mind. I had built up so many possible situations, no matter how crazy and nearly impossible they were.

I also thought of what would’ve happened if Zoe slipped into a coma, or even worse - died. I would’ve absolutely lost it. I would’ve gone insane from anger. They probably would’ve had to escort me out of the hospital.

I sighed and pushed the thoughts away as I pulled into the driveway. I slightly nudged Zoe’s arms and she awoke. She groaned and then opened her eyes and smiled.

“I love you.” She said very lightly. I could barely hear her, her voice was just above a whisper.

“Love you too Zoe.” I said as I went around and helped her out of the car and into the house.

“We’re back.” I said in an inside voice. I didn’t want to agitate Zoe; she had been through enough for the day. Immediately everyone was in the hallway with us and they were all smiling, happy for Zoe just to be alive and back home.

She waved like a small child and smiled at everyone, and motioned for Kennedy to come forward. He smiled and he enveloped her in a hug and she did the same.

“You scared me so Zoe. Don’t do that again, please?” he pleaded. Zoe nodded her head and then I grabbed her once again and helped into her room, while she was holding Kennedy’s hand. We helped her lay down and I gave her a kiss on the forehead. She smiled at me and Ken, and then we walked out.

“She looks so weak…” Kennedy stated.

I nodded my head. “Just kills you, huh?”

“Yeah, I mean - she’s my little sister. I’ve known since I was only one. And I’ve been there her whole life. It hurts me to know that for once I can’t make the pain go away.”

I gave Kennedy a hug before we turned the corner to go into the living room. “You’re not alone here Ken. I’m her husband. She’s everything to me. I’ve known her since I was six and she was five. That’s fifteen years, which is a really long time. I know exactly how you feel. My heart aches every time I see her wince from the pain, and while I was in that waiting room - I thought of every possible situation. Some of those thoughts were so morbid. And knowing she was only on the other side of the doors and I couldn’t even see her, it just made my heart break. Just the thought of losing touch with her again, I don’t want to leave her… ever again.” I rambled.

“I know John. But we have to leave her, or she’ll kick our asses out the door.” He said brutally honest. I laughed.

“She definitely would.” I said and we finally made our way back into the living room with all of our friends.

“She feelin’ okay?” Olivia asked.

“Yeah, the nurse said she should be getting a lot of rest. She’s been through a lot today. And we have to check on her every hour or so and then about every two hours we have to empty out the fluid container - as gross as it is.” I said with a shrug.

We all went silent. “NOT IT!” Olivia, Eric, Garrett, Nina, Jared, Pat, and Morgan called out. Kennedy and I just stared at them.

“We didn’t expect you to.” Kennedy said for the both us, while I laughed.

“Oh…” Halvo said. Then, we all chorused with laughter and continued on with our night despite the nagging thought at the back of all of our heads.

I knew, for sure, that we all thought “What if…?” and it stayed there like sometime attached it with super glue. But we all tried out best to stay happy for Zoe’s sake, even though she was in the other room.