Losing Touch

I stretched my arms up and stood and felt the soreness in my back from remaining in one position for a few hours. I yawned because I had just awoken and I stood up to walk into the aisle of the airplane.

“Excited to see everyone?” Halvo asked me. I smiled and nodded my head and he grabbed my small carry-on from the overhead baggage compartment.

“No one but Ken knows I’m coming right?” I asked and he nodded as we made our way off the plane. We had both left for the East Coast to go tour with The Maine. Halvo would be leaving sooner than I would, but that’s because Rocket was going on another tour. He now knew he was going to be a father, and he hasn’t lost the grin on his face from two days ago when Olivia told him.

He had been ecstatic and I smiled as they were continuing to move on with their lives as mine was going to end soon.

We made our way out to the terminal and walked downstairs to go by baggage claim to grab our other bags. I smiled when I saw my brother already there with my gray suitcase. I smiled and sped walked to go and give him a hug. Once I got there I embraced him like it was the last time I was going to be able to hold him.

“Zoe I love you so much.” he said into my hair.

“I love you too Kennedy.” I said looking up at my brother with small tears collecting in my eyes.

“Uhh, guys. Help?” I heard Halvo call and I laughed at the sight of him. He had my bag that I threw at him, his carry-on, and his suitcase.

I went over and took my carry-on from him and set his down on the ground so he could get settled. We all laughed a little and then decided on heading out. Kenny explained to us that he had jacked the van to come and get us and soon enough we found the marker covered van. I laughed at the new coat of numbers, messages, and names.

I climbed into passenger seat and Halvo took the second row after we threw our stuff into the back. We talked a little on the way there, and Halvo even told Kennedy about how he was going to be a father in about six months. Kennedy had congratulated him and Halvo kept talking about how excited he was and how much he loved Olivia.

After a while I zoned out and decided to look out at the sky. It was blue with a few hint of clouds. I had been on the East Coast before, but I haven’t been back in quite some time. It was a nice change of pace.

“We’re here.” my brother said and lightly nudged me in the shoulder. I smiled and got out of the van and helped Eric get my bags out. I took it and Kennedy helped us load it where the rest of the bags were. After everything was settled we headed inside the venue where I found band members roaming all over the place.

I walked in between Halvo and Kennedy as we tried to find the rest of The Maine. I took a deep breath once I saw the door that had a paper taped to the front that said “THE MAINE”. I looked up at the two boys I had been walking with and Halvo opened the door to reveal all of them sitting around talking.

“Hi guys.” I said meekly. The guys’ eyes popped out of their sockets and soon enough, they were smiling widely and John leapt up off the dingy green couch.

“Zoe.” he breathed once he embraced me. I hugged him back, in the same manner that I had hugged Kennedy earlier at the airport.

“Why are you here?” he asked. This was the question I had been fearing since I told Kennedy I was coming out on tour with them four days ago.

“I got another break from chemo and I decided I wanted to see my favorite guys.” I said convincingly. Then, the other three jumped up and attacked me in a group hug. I started laughing for the first time in days and they all backed away after a good minute and sat back down.

I went over and snuggled next to John on the couch he had been sitting on with only Jared, but I helped fill the third cushion.

“So how have you been without me?” I asked John.

“Miserable.” he said joking. I laughed and poked him in the ribs. “Ow!”

“WUSS!” Garrett yelled taking his eyes off his iPhone for a second.

“Shut up you zombie nerd!” he said and Garrett’s head snapped up.

“That really hurt John.” he pointed to his heart, “Right here.” Everyone in the room laughed and I looked over at Eric. He was smiling and I saw his right leg shaking and I nodded my head at him.

“You should tell them.” I mouthed to him and I saw him nod.

“Guys, I have to tell you something.” he said happily. All of the guys’ heads turned to face the lanky boy who was sitting on the arm of a chair.

“What is it?” Pat asked.

“Well, I went and visited Olivia before I came here and she told me… I’m gonna be a dad.” he said and everyone was silent for two seconds before jumping up and “bro hugging” him and shouting “congratulations”. But in the silent two seconds, John had become tense and I knew it was because we would never have a child.

But nonetheless, he was also happy. Once he sat back down, we stayed for another minute before I grabbed his hand and decided I wanted to talk to him. We walked down into the hall and then walked around the venue.

“I felt you tense up.” I said.

“Well… I mean, he’s having a child with someone he loves. I want that too, but then I might even get to keep you.” he said and the voice in the back of my head said “He won‘t get to keep you too much longer anyway.”

“I know, but I’m still so happy for him and Liv. They’re so happy.” I said with the small amount of guilt I had left nagging me.

John stopped and pushed me against the wall with his arms next to my head. “I love you and I missed you so much.” he said before kissing me.

If only this could last forever.