Losing Touch

John

As we made our way back to Tempe, too many thoughts ran through my head; too many thoughts about Zoe. The memories of when we first started dating, and even more memories before all of this chaos started.

I sighed and looked down at my fragile looking wife. Her skin had paled even more and her weight dropped even more. It killed me to see her in such a state, but I still knew I wouldn’t be leaving her side. There was no way I’d be walking away from her at a time like this.

It would break her heart, and it would surely break mine. Even though, inevitably, it would break, I wasn’t going to be the cause of the fracturing. Zoe’s death, is going to the be the cause; it made me depressed to even think of it - but I knew the day would be coming soon.

Life had become a clock for Zoe, and I could tell she loathed the thought of it. She was always the one growing up telling people to live in the moment and make the most of what we had. But now that she was in the position where her time left was uncertain, she had lost some of her faith.

I sighed and looked up and saw Kennedy giving me a sad look. I saw him look down at his sister and I saw him shut his eyes tightly and look back outside one of the van’s windows. As much as all of this was hurting me, it was hurting Kennedy more. He had been looking forward to watching his sister grow up along with him, and see her at the happiest moments in her life.

But now, all those happy moments had stopped. Zoe was being cheated out of a full and joyous life, and we were going to lose they always happy-go-lucky person she used to be. She wasn’t the same person anymore. Her eyes were sunken in, she didn’t speak anymore, and she never smiled.

She hadn’t smiled in weeks - and that’s what made everything else more real to us. Zoe was always the one to smile, to brighten up our days. That was going to be ripped out from under us; we wouldn’t ever have that again.

“We’re home!” Jared exclaimed from the driver’s seat as we parked in front of Zoe and Kennedy’s parent’s house. I moved so I could get out of the van, and I heard Zoe let out a distressed groan. My stomach fell at the sound, but I shook it off and assisted her out of the personalized van.

She could barely stand so I supported and towed her all the way into the house. The door was already open because the guys had already made it inside. Her parents were waiting in the hallway, with pain-filled eyes watching me carry their daughter inside.

The looked distraught and discouraged about their daughter’s health condition. Once I laid her down on their couch, I stood up and gave them a hug.

I heard my mother-in-law softly let out a small sob into my shoulder and I rubbed her back in comfort. I looked up and saw my father-in-law with tears in his eyes and a look that told me he felt sorry for me also.

The air in the room was filled with dejection; no one had said a single word. The only sound in the room was the muffled sobs of Mrs. Brock.

---

Later that night, when everyone was gone besides me, Zoe, Kennedy, Morgan (who was spending the night), and the Brocks, the silence became even more uncomfortable. All I did was sit out in the living room with Zoe, as she laid almost unconscious. All I heard was slight sounds of Kennedy and Morgan from another room and the sounds of Zoe’s labored breathing.

I stood up from the recliner I had been occupying as I mindlessly watched the TV. I stood in front of Zoe and studied her even more. The way she didn’t move an inch, the way her chest was barely moving, the way she still looked so beautiful while she was in so much pain.

I sighed and let a tear run down my face as I heard a door open. I saw Morgan walk out of the room and over to me. She placed a comforting hand on my shoulder and gave a sympathetic smile.

“She’s still so beautiful.” I said honestly.

She nodded her head. “She sure is. You know, she’s been my friend for as long as I’ve been dating Kennedy. She’s such a great person John.”

“I know. I’ve known her since I was six years old, and she’s always been such an amazing person to everyone she knows. She’s so friendly, thoughtful, and she’s good at giving advice…” I took a deep breath, “I don’t know what I’m going to do without her.”

Suddenly, Morgan gave me a hug and I squeezed her back as I let my walls break down. I couldn’t keep in the tears anymore and I just let everything loose. Everything was becoming so much to handle.

Soon I was going to lose my best friend, my wife, my everything. I don’t know how I was going to keep going without having an incentive to keep me going.

“You’ll figure it all John. You always do.” She told me after she pulled away. She shot me another smile before glancing down at Zoe’s feeble body. She walked back down the hall and into the room where I knew Kennedy needed comforting.

I walked forward and kissed Zoe’s forehead. She let out an airy breath and I could tell that she had appreciated the act. I smiled down at her, though she couldn’t see me. I quickly went into her room and grabbed something I had always kept at her house.

I saw back down in the recliner, and did something I would never do again. I settled the acoustic guitar down on my leg and pulled the pick from where I left it in the strings.

I slowly started playing the chords to see if it had remained tuned, and it wasn’t. Quickly, I tuned them by ear and once I was satisfied I began to perform the song for the last time.

“I know sometimes, people say it’ll be alright…”