Rose in December

Rose in December

Her POV

I watched him with his friends and my breath caught in my throat, I had not seen him in years. I wanted to run across the snow covered lawn and fall into his arms, but years have passed and those years have made me wiser. I thought I saw him look at me but he looked through me.

My younger sister noticed him and she waved. He peered at her and a smile spread across his lips, I could do nothing but sigh, as we made our way to him.

“Oh my god, I haven’t seen him in forever. And who are those guys?” Angeline spoke as she rubbed her hands together. Ever since she got boobs and realized what it means to colour your hair she was always on the prowl.

“Hey you,” he took her in his arms and spun her. She was giving him his best smile. I shifted the bags in my hands, we had just come from shopping and of course I carried everything.

“I haven’t seen you in forever, how have you been?” Angeline asked as she kept her hands on his upper arms even after he put her down on her feet. Sometimes I felt jelous of how easy it was for her to just flirt and be herself.

“I’ve been good, you know busy with tours, whenever I was in town you were at boarding school,” he said making my heart break because he had asked about her.

“Oh you know, I’m done with that, I’m working now,” she spoke fluttering her eye lids at her.

“Oh ya, what do you do?”

“I’m a bartender at Johnny’s,” she said purred it almost.

“Oh shit you’re already 21?” he asked.

“22, actually,” she knew what he was thinking.

His friends said his name and caught his attention, “Hey guys come over here,” he said and all four men that had been standing in the drive way puffing away at their cigarettes made their way over.

“Hi,” Angeline said, “My name is Angeline.”

“Oh wow, the name of an angel for an angel,” the tallest one with the glasses said.

“I’m Jaime,” I finally spoke up, making them all smile at me, all except him, it was as if he didn’t notice me there.

“Oh wow, this is Jaime? The Jaime?” the shortest one who’s name was Johnny spoke.

“I don’t know if I’m The Jaime,” I said with a smile, didn’t know whether or not it was a bad thing.

“Oh ya, that’s her man, living next door,” the tallest one who’s name I now knew as Jimmy said.

“Let me help you with that,” Matt the strongest one said taking my bags from me.

I could see a twinge of envy in Angeline’s eyes, but it was gone replaced by her plastering herself on him. I just sighed and looked away. “Thanks,” I said to Matt.

“Not a problem, I’ll help you take them to the house,” Matt stared to walk towards the house.

“How about you all come in for a cup of coco, mother’s out to her poker game, and father I’m pretty sure he’s out with his buddies to watch a football game,” I didn’t realize what I was speaking.

“Sounds better then my house,” he spoke as he wrapped his arm around my sister and they all followed.

We got to the house and I unlocked it, I still had my winter coat on, but everyone started taking theirs off, I was bundled up like crazy and for a second I wish I would of worn something skanky, or at least a bit more revealing like Angeline was wearing.

“Just go to the kitchen, I’ll be there in a second,” I said as they all managed to get their coats off before me.

“Where do you want me to put these?” Matt asked.

“By the stairs will be fine,” I said as I took my boots off. Followed by my scarf then coat then hat, I looked myself in the mirror before I stepped into the kitchen. It now seemed to be filled with people, and our kitchen had always seemed big.

“Alright, let me get on it,” I said catching everyone’s attention. “What?” I asked.

“You are nothing like we’ve heard,” Johnny had his mouth hanging half open.

“Oh ya, what did you hear?” I asked not knowing if I wanted to hear.

“Nothing bad, per say,” Matt started to say but stopped himself when Angeline took over.

“I’m sure you heard about the boyish looks, the bad glasses, ugly hair,” Angline knew where to hit. “She was practically a guy, without the anatomy.”

I turned to her and smiled, “That’s not very nice to say,” he said to my defence and if I had been the same girl I would of jumped up and down but I wasn’t, I was a mature adult woman.

“It’s true and you know it, the name suited me,” I said putting on water to boil. “Can one of you guys do me a favour and start the fire in the family room? Angeline will show you where to go,” I wanted to breathe seeing him so close was killing me. Sure I’ve been to his concerts, sure I’ve watched him on tv, but this was too much.

They all left to go to the family room while I made the mixture for the coco, I didn’t hear him behind me until he put his hand on my arm. I looked to my right. “Hi,” he said so simply.

“We’ve already said hi,” I said, knowing that would hurt him.

“I didn’t say a proper hello,” he started to say but I couldn’t take it.

“Stop it please,” I said.

“What do you mean?” he asked sounding confused.

“I don’t need an apology, I don’t need anything from you,” I said, barely heard above a whisper.

“Jaime,” he said in a pleading voice.

“I’m not the little girl I was years ago,” I said focusing back on the coco cups.

“I know,” he said defeated.

“Then why aren’t you with Angeline? She’s probably waiting to tell you everything that has happened since you’ve left,” I said looking towards the door that led to the basement.

“I see how you want things,” he said as he took his hand off my arm. I couldn’t speak I was afraid of the things I would say next, so I didn’t watch him go towards the basement.

“Things are the way you left them,” I said looking up trying to stop the tears from spilling down my cheeks. I finished the coco and put them on a tray. I carried them downstairs and I saw everyone huddled around the coffee table.

“Really?” Johnny was asking, when I made it to the last step.

“Yeah, you should of seen her in real life, I think I have some videos around here,” Angeline said standing up.

“Sit!” My voice sounded more stern then I had intended too. She sat with an evil smile on her face, then I realized what they were all looking at. It was scrap book that I had made to give to him, before he left but I never had the guts to do it. “Where did you get that?” I asked, putting down the tray.

“Oh you know mom, she finds something and she has to display it. After all she had to clean your room out, and it was just in your closet,” Angeline said sounding uninterested.

“Why did she clean out your room?” he asked looking at me with his eyes brows raised.

“I needed a closet silly, after all the shopping I’ve been doing, she thought I should get more closet space,” Angeline twirled her hair.

“So where are you staying now?” He asked as if he was interested.

“I moved on Main Street,” I said giving each of the guys a cup of coco.

“Wait when did move?”

“Years ago, why does it matter?” I asked giving him a cup trying not to have any contact with him.

“This is really good,” Jimmy said taking a sip then blowing on it, realizing it’s too hot to drink.

“Thanks, it’s my own recipe,” I said taking a seat and flipping through the scrap book. There were pictures of me and him everywhere almost. Lyrics to songs.

“When did you make this?” he asked while everyone else was talking about what movie they should watch.

“A little girl made it a long time ago,” I said closing it.

“Jaime, we need to talk,” he said in an urgent voice.

“Ok, let’s talk,” I agreed it was now or never, not like I was going to see him again anytime soon. I was moving next month.

“Not here,” he said.

“Alright let’s go upstairs,” I said standing up, no one noticed us go. He followed me and I went into the upstairs living room, I sat down on the couch by the window looking out the window at the snow now falling, covering up our foot steps.

He sat down in front of me. I didn’t say anything, as his weight unevened the couch. “Jaime,” he said almost a whisper. The way he said my name made my eyes sting. I couldn’t say his name, I had not said it in years, except in my dreams.

“What is there to talk about?” I asked him, looking him in the eyes, trying not to get lost.

“Us,” he said.

“There is no us,” I said quickly.

“There might have been,” he said as if he was saying it to himself more then me.

“But you left, so there wasn’t, what’s done is done you can’t go back and change things,” I said remembering how many times I had wished I could of.

“I had to go,” he said in defence.

“I know,” I said back to him looking back out the window.

“I’ve missed you,” he said in a sharp voice admitting it for the first time.

“Between the girls, the rock and the booze, really?” I didn’t believe him, I didn’t believe him one bit.

“Jaime,” he said with a warning in his voice.

“I find that hard to believe, I mean you’re the great Synyster Gates, why the hell would you miss the little tomb boy, you knew as a teenager?” I had said his stage name and that hurt him.

“You were never a tomb boy to me,” he said taking a strand of my hair and placing it behind my ear.

“Yeah, I was a bomb shell, right?” I asked sarcastically.

“Jaime, don’t do this.”

“Do what?” I asked not having a clue what he was talking about.

“Push me away,” he moved closer to me, but I just looked at him.

“I’m not Syn, I’m just sitting here having a conversation about someone that doesn’t exist anymore,” I said and watch his chocolate eyes sadden.

“But,” he started to say.

“There are no buts,” I said and stood up quickly as if I was on fire, and I was, I wanted to touch him, to run my hands over his tattoos, I wanted to kiss him, I wanted everything I couldn’t have.

“You’re running away,” he said after me, as I went for the stairs.

“I wouldn’t be the first one, now would I?” I said almost running up the stairs, I needed to get away from him. I went into my old room and opened the window, without a coat I made my way outside on the roof. Kicking the snow so I could sit.

The snow was falling around me, on me but I didn’t care. I was cold, but my heart was colder then it had ever been. I don’t know how long I had been out there, but I heard the door open in the room. “You’re going to freeze out here,” I heard his voice behind me.

“Why do you care?” I asked, looking up at the sky.

“Because.... I don’t want you to get sick,” he said matter of fact.

He stepped out on the roof, and put a coat around me, I realized it was his, and it smelt like him. “You’ll get sick now, and I wouldn’t want your fiancée to get mad at me,” I gave him back the coat.

“Is that what this is about? Michelle?” he asked not taking the coat.

“You’re the one that said....” I started to say but I stopped what right had I to throw things in his face.

“That I’d come back for you,” he remembered, making tears fall down my cheeks.

“Yeah,” I said watching my breath take form in front of me.

“I did come back,” he said almost breathless, from the memories. I looked at him. “You were gone, Angeline said you were engaged and going to be married, it was a year after I left.”

I started to laugh, he looked at me raising an eyebrow. “It’s funny,” I said.

“What’s so funny?” he was dead serious.

“That you would believe something like that,” I said standing up and dusting off my now frozen ass. He stood up with me.

“What are you talking about?” he asked sounding angry.

I stepped into the room and he followed me. “Don’t worry about it,” I said feeling hysterical, didn’t know whether it was from the cold or from the news.

“Jaime talk to me,” he spun me to face him.

“My sister, you believed my sister over me, when I said I’d wait for you, I meant it, there hasn’t been anyone else, I fell in love with you, and no matter how many winters came with their snow, springs with their flowers, summers with their heat, and falls with their colours, I waited for you. Fuck, after all this time I might still be waiting for you,” I gave his coat, he wasn’t saying anything.

“Jaime,” he started to say but I placed my cold finger on his warm lips.

“Don’t, don’t say something trying to make me feel better, just go,” I handed him his coat, “I’ll always be your Rose in December,” I said as a tear slid down my cheek and I did something that caught me off guard, I kissed him, as I sobbed into his lips he caught me.

“Jaime, I....”

“Don’t say it whatever you do, just go back and be happy,” I regained my composure. “Michelle is waiting for you, isn’t she?”

As if he shook the cloud around his mind, he let me go, turned around and put on his coat. As he was going down the stairs I yelled after him. “Brian,” he stopped and looked at me over his shoulder. “Take the scrap book, it was always meant to be yours.”

That was the last time I saw him, in person at least.

His POV

After getting the scrap book, and telling the guys I was going home, I went to my dad’s house next door. Not saying anything to anybody I went to the computer and typed in Rose in December. A song came up, and I listened to it. The words hitting the spot in my heart that made me want to go back and take her in my arms, but she had been right. I had made a promise to someone, whom I loved.

I've taken all this time
Standing in the snow
And I'm so afraid of what could fall from my lips
Afraid of what I know
But still I carry on
Following my heart
Things could let me down, and I could be betrayed
But love never lies....so

Let me be your Rose In December
And I'll be standing here, until spring comes and the snow melts away
Let me be your Rose In December
I'll stand here forever, loving you, as a rose in december

Cool, autumn days
When everyone else walked away
They told me to forget, and to spare myself the storm
But, I knew you were worth the wait
And as the snow fell
Landing on my heart
Burying my emotion, but still I stand here frozen
Because I know I love you, oh, I love you...so

Let me be your Rose In December
And I'll be standing here, until spring comes and the snow melts away
Let me be your Rose In December
I'll stand here forever..loving you..as a rose in december

As a Rose.....

As a rose in december.