Postcards From No Man's Land
Epilogue: Collide
I am walking down the street by our house, the one where the roots of that one huge tree grew up under the sidewalk so that the cement is all broken and slanted. The cracks are intricate like a spider’s web, so delicate and thin. I’m dressed in a plain green t-shirt and shredded jeans. They are painted with the blood we shared and mud and gravel. My hair is matted with blood and filled with shards of crystal glass. A beautiful criss-cross of cuts weep crimson tears down my cheeks and drip-drip-drip down to the warped sidewalk. But I walk.
I see our house. The window in my old bedroom is dark, the curtains tightly drawn. I half expect them to ripple with some sort of life, but they hang dry and still.
The front door opens, and Frank walks out. He looks like he belongs. His feet clipping down the driveway match my own on the crumbling cement. I can hear his heart beat, slow and strong.
Thank you, I say to him as he passes me by on the sidewalk. My answer comes out in the wind. His breath, puffing out in small clouds, brushes my cheek, and he cannot see me.
His eyes travel Heavenwards, searching the clouds. He loves me, he breathes, the words hardly making a sound in the air. He seems surprised that the words even came out of his mouth, and then reassured because he knows that they’re true.
I know, I tell him, because I know it’s true as well.
Gerard, Frank whispers, looking around as if trying to spot me. I am nothing but a whisper in his ear. Thank you for giving him to me, he says.
And then you, Mikey, my sweet beautiful Mikey, walk out of the house. You look so much older than I’ve ever seen you; there are lines of age etched into your pale skin. Then you call out to Frank, and those lines turn into laugh lines. You smile like you can see Eternity, and jog to catch up to your lover.
I stand in the middle of the sidewalk and watch you coming toward me, and it’s almost like an underwater dream. You’re walking on water, and I cannot move out of your path. So we are walking towards each other, and momentum is pushing me along. I know that we’re going to collide, and I’m praying that we will have some sort of contact.
We crash, meeting at the shoulders. I stop, holding my breath. You stop in your tracks, sharply inhaling, and I am afraid you’re going to pass out. We stand shoulder to shoulder, going in opposite directions. You know exactly where you are going; I am only fading away.
Gerard, you whisper, your breath hitching in your throat. You can feel me, honey, my skin on your skin. My lips on your lips. My breath on your wasted cheek.
I cannot speak, but I do. Mikes, I choke out, and I reach out to touch your cheek. You close your eyes and sigh as my finger trails down your cheekbone, yet you cannot see me.
A single crystal tear drop clings to your eyelash, and then drips onto the tip of my finger. It wobbles precariously for a moment, and then slides down the length of my palm. You lift your hand, and it falls upon my chest. Palm over heart. And for that split second, I am alive again. My heart beats. It beats for you. Icy air fills my lungs. It stings my chest.
Primavera, you bring me to life.
Your jaw trembles. Your voice is so shaky when you say, I’m going now, Gee. I’m going. It has to be…it has to be goodbye now.
I love you, I breathe.
Again your eyes fall closed. I love you, you murmur, but your voice is too weak to actually do more than mouth the words.
Let go, I tell you, Just let go.
It is just you and I. Me and you. On this planet. In my heart.
Hey, Mikey! Frank calls to you, noticing you’ve stopped. C’mon, love, let’s go.
Let’s go.
Let go.
He reaches his hand out to you, beckoning you to take it.
Bye, Gee, you whisper. You reach out and you take Frank’s hand.
And then I am just a feather on the wind.
The End.
I see our house. The window in my old bedroom is dark, the curtains tightly drawn. I half expect them to ripple with some sort of life, but they hang dry and still.
The front door opens, and Frank walks out. He looks like he belongs. His feet clipping down the driveway match my own on the crumbling cement. I can hear his heart beat, slow and strong.
Thank you, I say to him as he passes me by on the sidewalk. My answer comes out in the wind. His breath, puffing out in small clouds, brushes my cheek, and he cannot see me.
His eyes travel Heavenwards, searching the clouds. He loves me, he breathes, the words hardly making a sound in the air. He seems surprised that the words even came out of his mouth, and then reassured because he knows that they’re true.
I know, I tell him, because I know it’s true as well.
Gerard, Frank whispers, looking around as if trying to spot me. I am nothing but a whisper in his ear. Thank you for giving him to me, he says.
And then you, Mikey, my sweet beautiful Mikey, walk out of the house. You look so much older than I’ve ever seen you; there are lines of age etched into your pale skin. Then you call out to Frank, and those lines turn into laugh lines. You smile like you can see Eternity, and jog to catch up to your lover.
I stand in the middle of the sidewalk and watch you coming toward me, and it’s almost like an underwater dream. You’re walking on water, and I cannot move out of your path. So we are walking towards each other, and momentum is pushing me along. I know that we’re going to collide, and I’m praying that we will have some sort of contact.
We crash, meeting at the shoulders. I stop, holding my breath. You stop in your tracks, sharply inhaling, and I am afraid you’re going to pass out. We stand shoulder to shoulder, going in opposite directions. You know exactly where you are going; I am only fading away.
Gerard, you whisper, your breath hitching in your throat. You can feel me, honey, my skin on your skin. My lips on your lips. My breath on your wasted cheek.
I cannot speak, but I do. Mikes, I choke out, and I reach out to touch your cheek. You close your eyes and sigh as my finger trails down your cheekbone, yet you cannot see me.
A single crystal tear drop clings to your eyelash, and then drips onto the tip of my finger. It wobbles precariously for a moment, and then slides down the length of my palm. You lift your hand, and it falls upon my chest. Palm over heart. And for that split second, I am alive again. My heart beats. It beats for you. Icy air fills my lungs. It stings my chest.
Primavera, you bring me to life.
Your jaw trembles. Your voice is so shaky when you say, I’m going now, Gee. I’m going. It has to be…it has to be goodbye now.
I love you, I breathe.
Again your eyes fall closed. I love you, you murmur, but your voice is too weak to actually do more than mouth the words.
Let go, I tell you, Just let go.
It is just you and I. Me and you. On this planet. In my heart.
Hey, Mikey! Frank calls to you, noticing you’ve stopped. C’mon, love, let’s go.
Let’s go.
Let go.
He reaches his hand out to you, beckoning you to take it.
Bye, Gee, you whisper. You reach out and you take Frank’s hand.
And then I am just a feather on the wind.
The End.