Make This Perfect Again

"Hey, guys, can we pull over for a bit please?" I asked from the back seat of the van. Jason looked at me through the rear-view mirror.

"What's up Jaws?" He asked.

"I have to fucking pee!" I said, squirming around in my seat. Jason laughed.

"There's a gas station about 10 minutes from here. Hold it in."

"I can't! I will burst with urine and Monster!" Marque inched himself away from me.

"Just don't explode on me!" Marque said. I rolled my eyes and took out my phone. I called Matt, because I had been previously texting him. I dialed his number, hoping his phone had some kind of service.

"Hello?" Matt answered, even though it was a bit crackly.

"Hi Matt." I said.

"Hey Jaws, what's up?"

"Who's driving your van right now?" I asked him.

"Mike is. Why?"

"Can you tell Mike that we're making a stop at the next gas station. Cause I'm going to pee myself if we don't stop." I said. Matt laughed a little bit.

"Alright, I'll tell him." Matt and I hung up our phones and I leaned back in my seat, crossing my legs over one another. I was jittery for the next 8 minutes. When Jason finally pulled into a gas station, I leaped over Marque to get out of the van. I wrenched open the door and nearly fell flat on my face.

I got out of the van and ran into the gas station. "Where is your bathroom?" I asked, hopping up and down slightly. The guy who was at the counter looked rather bored with his job. He looked at me, then under the counter. He pulled out a grimy looking key.

"It's around the back." He said, his voice monotone. I nodded and took the key, running back out of the store.

I finished 'relieving' myself of my ready-to-burst bladder and went back into the gas station and handed the guy back the key. Matt, Mike, Ian and Josh were all gathering up their 'supplies' for the road. I noticed Josh had about 3 cans of Coke Zero. I rolled my eyes and quickly grabbed a Kit-Kat and a package of the mini cereal boxes. I payed for it and waited for the other guys. We all walked outside together, I saw Airin sitting on the floor of van where the door was opened. Jason was cleaning to windows of the van, and Marque was walking back and forth stretching his legs. Keith was still sitting in his seat, napping with his ipod headphones in.

"Airin, if you have to pee, go now." I said, climbing over Airin to get back to my seat.

"I can piss on the side of the road. Unlike someone I know." Airin smirked at me.

"If you don't go have a piss now, we're not going to stop unless someone is dying." Jason interjected. Airin looked at Jason, then at the gas station door. Airin got up and started walkinh towards the door. Marque saw Airin and started to run to the doors. Airin chased after him, and nearly tackled Marque to the ground.

"No! I get to go first! I'm younger!" Marque said, trying to wiggle out of Airins grip.

"You're younger, you can hold it longer!" Airin said, "I'm an old man!" Airin said. I noticed that Mike and Ian were watching the two boys argue over who got to use the bathroom first. I popped my head out of the van and looked at them.

"They do that...a LOT." I said. "You'll get used to it...in about 19 years." Mike and Ian laughed.

"You're an old man? You're 21, almost 22!" Marque giggled.

"But you are 18! You're still in your teen years!" Marque's birthday wasn't until December 29th, so he was the baby.Marque turned around in Airins arms.

"You may be an old man, but you're still hot babe." Marque said. I couldn't help but go 'aw'. "Shut it Jaws! You're only a month a few days from being an old lady!" Marque said. It was true. My birthday was in 2 weeks and 5 days. I frowned at Marque and sat back down in my seat.

"Okay, you win. You go first." Airin said, letting go of Marque.

"Oh, I don't have to go to the bathroom. I just wanted you to have to wait." Marque laughed and ran back to the van, diving into his seat.

"You sonnabitch!" Airin muttered while walking into the gas station. Laughs could be heard from Marianas Trench's van. Glad they enjoyed it as much as I did.

"Okay guys, we're going to give you a little history lesson right now." I said into my microphone. We were in Fernie now. The crowd looked somewhat confused, as did Airin, even though he was the one who brought it up to me. "So, a lot of you, before the show, were asking us why we chose our band name. We've never told anyone why we chose it, but I think now is as good as ever." I took a quick sip from my waterbottle. "Well, Airin and I had this grandmother, Ellarie, and she had a dollhouse that I would play with when ever I went over to her house. It was a normal looking dollhouse, but then bumped it down the stairs into the basement one day, because my grandma was one of these believers in spirits, and if I closed the basement door, I would anger the spirits in the basement." I said, taking another sip of water. "Anyways, so I go down and get the dollhouse, and when I flick the light on, and I'm 6 at the time, so anything could scare me, the dollhouse isn't broken, but there is something weird about it. I get closer to it, and when I finally get a good look at the dollhouse, the walls of the 'living room' had streaks of red going down them. I don't ever remember bringing paint, or there ever being red in the dollhouse. Then, in the little bathroom of the dollhouse, one of the dolls I had been playing with had been 'decapitated'. It was one of the creepiest things I had ever seen." Marque then took over from there.

"Yeah, so Josline told us this story, and it was after the original bassist, Colbie, had left. We were called Kliiked up until that point, and we didn't think it would be fair to keep that name without Colbie in the band. After Josline told us the dollhouse story, we all decided that Ellaries Dollhouse would be a pretty cool name." Marque said.

"And it could also explain why we have a little bit of a creepy sound sometimes." Airin added.

"Enough about our band name, let's play our last song before Marianas Trench get up here!" We began to play the last song, and it was kind of creepy sounding. I was at my keyboard this time.

"I'm not coming home tonight.
The ending is near, It's becoming unclear.
There's too much to fear, tonight.
I don't want to be stuck here,
while it's all headed down.

I couldn't see,
your bloodshot eyes,
behind the stained glass.
You deserve so much better,
than to be left alone outside.

So come in, and you wont be alone.
I'll make sure of it, you just have to believe.
In me or you're lost. I know that I,
am lost without you."

We finished our set and we headed into the back to get cleaned up a little bit. Josh came up tp me after and said we were great. "You still going to sing Alibis with me tonight?" I looked up at Josh and nodded. He had asked me to come on stage and sing the second verse of Alibis with him. I had to learn the words in a matter of 4 hours, which was fairly easy, except when someone would bother me. "Just remember, it's the third song. After September." Josh winked at me and walked off to get ready. I went out to the merch table where Ian was.

"You really got your band name from a creepy dollhouse?" He questioned when I sat down in a chair behind the table. He looked up from a box he was sorting out.

"Yeah, we did!" I said. Ian looked rather impressed, and slightly creeped out.

"You just have a weird family." He said, looking at Airin who was hugging some girl and making weird faces into the girls friends camera.

"Yeah, but I love them." I smiled at Ian who smiled back. He went and joined the rest of his band on stage.

I was standing behind stage so no one could see I was there. I was listening to what Josh was saying, and then they started the song.

"From the scrapes and bruises,
to the familiar abuses.
I'll kick and scream but it never changes anything.
I could spill my guts out,
wearing my best little girl pout.
I almost missed it, but nobody said that this was going to be easy.

This is not the man I hoped to be,
and I'm just trying to stop the bleeding.
I don't know how to word it,
I just started to deserve it.
And all my faces are alibis.
And me, I' half the man I wanted to be."

Then, my cue was up. I was just hoping in the back of my mind I would do the song justice, because Josh's vocal range was way different from mine.

"Most times it all comes out wrong.
I don't know the words but I'll hum along.
There's nothing familiar here anymore.
To anyone or anything, enough to feel alive.
And I still taste that sickness.
And it makes me crazy without it at best.
And I'm in the same place I used to be,
but I'm tryind harder not to be."

We ran through the rest of the song, and all I was trembling the whole time. I wasn't nervous about singing infront of a crowd. I was never nervous infront of a crowd. I was nervous being up on stage, with Josh, singing one of his songs, his creations. I was nervous because it was the first time in a little while where I felt vulnerable standing next to Josh.

"...I'm half the man I wanted to be." The last few chords rung out and there was quite a bit of cheering. Josh I put the microphone that I was using (Mike's) back on it's stand. Josh stopped me before I got off stage. He pulled me into a side hug.

"You were great." He said into my ear. He kissed the top of my head, and I felt my face start to burn. I smiled a little bit at him before nearly running off the stage. I went back to the merch table, and Airin hugged me in a near bone crushing hug.

"You sung beautifully together!" He said, "You are MADE for eachother." I looked back at Josh, and they were already playing their song Decided to Break It. Josh was smiling the whole way through the song, and it made me smile.

I was starting to believe what Airin had said. Maybe Josh and I were made for one another.