Make This Perfect Again

"Yes, dad. I'm safe." Marque said, agitated, into his phone. "No, I haven't broken anything..." Marque was silent for a a few moments. The rest of the band sat around backstage waiting to go on. Then, Marque scared us. "DAD! Why would you even ask that?" He started to whisper, but we could still hear him. "Dad, I'm NOT talking about my sex life with you!"

Every one started laughing and Marque turned bright red. He ferociously snapped his phone shut and shoved it in his pocket. Airin was a slight shade of pink, but still laughing.

"Sex life?" Keith poked Airin in the ribs, "What sex-life?"

"Like you know what a sex life is!" Marque snapped. A chorus of 'oohs' came from me and my brother. Keith just frowned.

"Yeah. I don't." Keith said, shrugging. There was a light knock at the door, and Jason with his flopped over, blond mohawk'd face appeared at the door. He entered, holding a cup of something hot.

"Hey Air, got your chai." Airin had taken to drinking chai tea before a show. It helped him stay relaxed before he went on stage.

"Thank you Jason! You gonna chill backstage or go chill in the crowd?" Airin asked, sipping his tea.

"I think I'm gonna chill back here." Jason said, leaning against the door frame. "You know I'm not big on crowds." Jason smiled. There was excited chatter coming from down the hallway. I knew Colour Hues had finished their set.

"Okay guys, " Airin always led the group huddle. We all got in a cirlce. "It's gonna be a good show. We are gonna kick butt and NOT suck." Airin paused for a moment, "And we must pay tribute to the Gods of Rock by sacrificing Keith's left ball." Marque and I laughed, Keith frowned. "Wolf howl on 3. 3...2...1!" We all let out a wolf howl and I could soon feel the adrenaline rush through me. I always had a high confidence level when it came to performing. Airin was a goof and was NEVER nervous about anything, Keith took about 3 songs to get comfortable, and Marque wasn't okay until he played the very last note on the last song we played.

We got our guitars (Keith and mine), drum sticks (Airin), bass (Marque) and picks. We got out onto the stage.

"Hey guys." Cheering. "How are you doin'?" More cheering. "We are so fucking stoked to be here, you have no idea." I was amazed at how loud such a small crowd could be so loud. I turned to Keith, giving him a thumbs up. He started playing a guitar riff, then the drums joined in. Then my vocals.

"Everybody knows, every body is, listening.
You can't hide it anymore,
because I'm starting to spin outta control."

The first song was great, the next four were fantastic. Then, there were only two more songs.

"Alright guys. So, we've put blood, sweat, tears,the occasional vomit on Airins part, and our souls into this shit we're playing for you. And I mean EVERYTHING. Josline bled on the paper a couple of times." There was scattered laughter, and Keith continued. "We don't normally play these types of songs at our show, because we like to be lively and get people moving, but Josline has been working really hard on this song. She's got her acoustic over there, and she's gonna play the new song for you." I picked up my acoustic guitar and sang the first few words with out my guitar.

"4 years I've been clean,
Doesn't stop, it's killing me.." I strummed the guitar and soon the drums picked up.

"Left me messages I couldn't erase,
drug filled lies, only prize,
in this courageous life."

We ended our show and told everyone we'd go talk for about an hour.

I don't know how many t-shirts, shoes, CD cases, or pictures I signed, but my hand was cramping up by the end of one hour.
I walked out into the lobby to find a bathroom. Then, an extremely familiar voice spoke to me.

"Excuse me...Josline...could you sign this CD for me?" I slowly turned around, my worst dear coming true.

"Hmm,I don't see why not, Mr Ramsay." Josh awkwardly handed me the CD, and i quickly scribbled my name on it. We stood there awkwardly for a few minutes before Josh embraced me in a hug. I felt my face go hot.

It really confused me why Josh was being so friendly to me after I ignored him, when he tried to redeem himself.

He let go of me, and for some strange reason, I felt empty when his arms fell down by his sides. "You look alot different." Josh motioned to my hair. It had the same style to it, that I hadn't changed (except it was longer than it was 4 years ago). My once dark brown hair was blond-orange, and it had light brown for the under layer.

"Yeah, still the same ol' Josline...just a little bit sweatier." I chuckled slightly. Josh smiled at me and my knees went weak. 4 years of not talking to Josh and that still happened? "You look alot better...More healthy."

"Thanks. After I left, I went to rehab. I got clean...for you. But you never replied to any of my e-mails or texts. So I gave up." Josh sighed, but still had a slight smile etched on his face.

I didn't know what to say to him. "What are you doing here?" I asked after a few minutes of awkward silence.

"Me and Matt went to Capital Ex. Then we saw that you guys were playing so we bought tickets to see you." Josh still had a smile on. "You rocked, by the way." He winked at me. "Real stage presence you've got." I could feel my face start to get hot again.

"Thanks Josh." I said. I then reminded myself of my bathroom mission. I excused myself and found a bathroom. Once I had finished up, I walked back out into the area where Josh was still standing. "Hey, I thought you said Matt was here too." As soon as I said that, two hands clamped themselves onto my shoulders. I jumped, then turned around. Matt was standing there. "Jesus Matt! Don't do that!" I laughed. Matt wrapped his arms around me and I returned the hug.

"You grew a few inches I see!" I pushed Matt away and kind of glared at him. Matt held his hands up, "Whoa, hold up there Shark Attack! I was kidding!" I looked at Matt for a few seconds before realizing it was another one of my nicknames.

"No one's called me that since high school!" I laughed. Then I heard Airin's voice.

"Jaws, we gotta move the..." Airin stopped. I moved out from infront of Matt, who turned around to see Airin. "Matt? Hey man, what's up?" they did their 'bro-hug'. Then Airin noticed Josh.

I didn't know how Airin felt towards Josh anymore. He probably didn't trust him much after what had happened. But much to my surprise, Airin hugged Josh. It was rather strange. "You're copying my look again Ramsay." Airin said.

"Hey, I only have a subtle streak. Your entire head is blue." Josh said.Airin kind of frowned. "You know, you guys are a lot more tattooed than I remember." Airin looked down at his body, just remembering he had tattoo's. Airin had the "Live Life" chesr piece since he was 16. He also had, on the side of his neck, a small treble cleff, his left middle finger had the word "Peace" on it. And on his right forearm, he had "Life Lost. Heaven Gained. Forever Here. Forever Alive". The left forearm had "Erika May Jaulby" with vines twisting around the name.

I, on the other hand, had a music note with an angel wing coming out the top of it on my right forearm. It had the 5 bars of music wrapping around my arm, and also had the words "Live Life" in the music bars. Airin suggested I get that. I also had on the back of my neck, a few stars trailing down my neck and ont my shoulder. I was the pierced one. I had my septum, monroe and my ears pierced about 4 times on ear ear.

"Hey, I am!" Airin exclaimed. We all laughed and Airin asked why they were here. Matt explained the story to Airin.

"We're also going to be touring for a little bit." Josh added.

"Oh, when?" Airin asked.

"Beginning of September." Matt said. Airin looked at me, and it was as if he could read my mind.

You're going to ask us, you're going to ask us...

"Why, were you going to ask us to go on tour with you guys?" Airin asked, still looking at me.

"Well, that thought never crossed our minds." Matt said. "What do you think Josh?" I looked right at Josh.

"I'd love it." He said, smiling. "What do you think Josline?" He asked me.

"Oh...I...I would have to think about that first. I mean, we've been touring for a few months already."

"We've only been touring for a month." Airin interjected. I shot him a small, but un-noticable to the others, glare. I looked back at the other two.

Maybe it would be good. I mean, I wanted to try to make it up to Josh for being so horrible to him. I had to make it right with Josh before I could FINALLY stop worrying about everything.

"Well, you guys just think about it." Josh said."We better get going, eh Matt?"

"Yeah, getting pretty late. How long are you guys here for?" Matt asked us.

"We'll be here for another day. We leave to Calgary in 2. Colbie has to get his hand checked out because he think he broke it tonight."

"Oh, that's unfortunate. So if he did break his hand, then you're going to have to cancel the other shows, right?"

"Well, that's probably the best option, and we'd refund the people's tickets, even though not many people bought tickets for our next two shows..." Airin said. We never sold out a show completely. We came close once in Winnepeg, because Airin had a summer internship at Coffee Shop Records, a small indie lable, after he graduated from school. So the company really tried to hype us up.

"Well, just wait and see." We all quickly exchanged our numbers with one another, and Airin and I helped pack up the rest of our equipment.

We finally got to the motel we were staying at. Just because my dad was a famous actor, didn't mean that the band had lots of money. Infact, we were broke half of the time. The boys all got to share a room (Marque and Airin shared a bed, because, well...they were allowed). I had a room all to myself, but it was just across the hall from the boys. I layed down on the bed, my eyes half closed. My cell phone started ringing. I rolled over and grabbed my phone. I looked at the screen to see who was calling. I smiled and opened the phone.

"Hi baby." I said.

"Hey lovely." John's voice sounded from the other end of the phone.