Heart in A Cage

In my dream, I was near a lake. The blue water reflected the sun and the moon and the clouds; the whole world was in that lake, and I was standing at the edge of it, waiting to fall in. On the other side of the lake was a huge mass of swirling black. I feared if I looked in it long enough, I would be sucked in and led to my death. As I admired the lush grass at my feet, I wondered what it would be like to go across to the other side, leaving the whole world behind without a care.

Suddenly, there was a noise. Like something hard hitting against glass. Silence followed and I looked around curiously, wondering what was going on. It came again, this time a little louder. The sound startled me; I tried to hold onto the empty air as I started to fall—

I opened my eyes and groaned to myself. Blinking away the hazy shadows that danced in front of my eyes, I got up and stretched. It took a moment for me to gather my scrambling thoughts, and when I did, I glanced at the clock.

6:30 flashed back at me.

Having the sudden urge to scream, I got up and scratched at my bare chest, wondering why I was awake so early on a Saturday morning. Then I remembered my dream, and I was thrown into another fit of confusing thoughts.

Thump.

I gasped out loud and almost jumped out of my skin. Heart beating wildly, I looked across the room at the window, where the noise had apparently come from. Telling myself to calm down, I walked across and pulled the curtain back, glancing out. The world was starting to come to life; beautiful shades of pink and blue covered the horizon as the sun peeked out over the buildings.

Thump.

“Fuck!” I hissed as the rock hit the window, right where my nose had been pressed to the glass. Cursing under my breath, I unlocked the window from the small hook and pushed at the cool glass, shivering as a cold gust of wind blew into the room.

“Hello?” I called out, searching the backyard. Grinding my teeth so they wouldn’t chatter, I suddenly noticed a hooded figure standing right below, ready to launch another rock. “Hey, who’s there?”

Silence followed. I was about to yell out something else when a familiar voice called out, “Connor?”

Oh God, I thought and resisted the urge to slap my palm against my forehead. When I didn’t answer, the voice came again.

“Hey, can you come down for a minute?”

I quietly called out, “Yeah,” and shut the window.

Taking a deep breath, I grabbed a random hoodie from the closet and walked out of the room, trying to be as quiet as possible. I knew that Aunt Karen had been called into an extra early shift at the hospital today, so aside from me, Uncle Jeff and the boys were the only ones home. Still, I knew if I woke up Nelson and Kelvin, I would have to deal with a frustrated nine-year-old, and a moody teenager.

Plastering a small smile on my face, I opened the door. Before me stood Lukas, clad in a grey jacket with the hood pulled up, black shorts and trainers. A water bottle hung loosely from his right hand.

“Hey,” I said.

He grinned, although it lacked his usual charm. “Hey, I’m sorry to wake you. I was just looking for Deon, and I didn’t want to ring the bell, so…” He shrugged his shoulders sheepishly, as if to say, What else could I do?

I wanted to ask him why he couldn’t have just called Deon, but I knew the boy slept like a log, so I didn’t say anything.

“Oh. What are you guys going to do at seven a.m. on a Saturday morning?” I asked sarcastically. As soon as I said it, though, I wished I could take it back. I didn’t want to look curious, and I definitely didn’t want Lukas to think I actually cared what he got up to.

“Nothing much,” Lukas said nonchalantly. “He was supposed to come jogging with me… Help me train for swimming.”

I was a little taken aback. I hadn’t known Lukas was on the swimming team. “Oh.” As I looked around, trying to think of something else to say, I glimpsed the empty spot where Deon’s truck was usually parked. “Uh, actually, I don’t think he’s even home.”

Lukas followed my eyes and uttered a quiet, “Fuck!” He turned back to me and the small lines of frustration disappeared from his face. “I should’ve known… I just thought he had it parked in the garage or something.” He grinned a little uncomfortably. “Well, I guess I’m on my own, unless you want to join me on this gorgeous morning.” This was followed by a small laugh; he was obviously joking.

I don’t know what came over me, but, for some odd reason or other, I found myself nodding my head. “Yeah, I’ll come along. Just let me go put on some shoes.”

Even Lukas looked surprised, which, in turn, shocked me – he usually looked so happy and carefree that it was weird seeing the slight confusion etched into his face. “Uh, yeah, okay,” he said lightly, giving me a small smile.

I nodded and dashed back inside. The shock of what I’d agreed to was only just starting to wash over me, but I ignored it. I was already awake anyway, I reasoned with myself, pulling on a long-sleeved t-shirt and shorts. This will do me some good. Running a hand through my messy hair and making it look somewhat presentable, I walked out of the guest room. I grabbed a water bottle from the kitchen, and was out of the front door in a matter of minutes.

“Are you sure you’re allowed? Coming with me, I mean?” Lukas asked as we walked down the driveway.

I tried not to frown at how he was treating me like a child. “Yeah. I’ll probably be back before they wake up anyway.”

Lukas nodded, letting the hood fall off of his head and shaking out his hair. It stuck up in odd places, just like mine had a few moments ago. “So,” he started, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye. “How’s school?”

It was such an awkward question that I almost started to laugh. I shrugged at him, and told him about a few of my classes, sticking to the basics.

He nodded again. “Ah, what I wouldn’t give to go back to junior year,” he mumbled, smiling.

“You’re a senior?” Once again, I was shocked.

“Yup,” he declared, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I’ll be graduating soon.”

We walked in silence for a while after that, enjoying the quiet streets. I had become quite familiar with the neighborhood over the past few days, so I knew Lukas could only be heading out to the park. I’d gone there before with Kelvin a few times; the memory made me smile a little.

Lukas heaved a huge sigh as we approached the park. People jogged by, shooting quick smiles at us, and a few elderly couples sat on the benches, conversing quietly.

“You up for running a few laps around here?” Lukas asked, bouncing on his toes a little.

From my very first day at Creston High, I’d gone out of my way to skip P.E. as much as possible. The teacher – Mr. Finley – had even left a few messages on the answering machine, asking someone to please come “discuss this issue as soon as possible.” But, because I didn’t want to seem like a total lazy asshole in front of Lukas, I nodded.

He gave me a big grin and, pocketing his water bottle, started jogging away from me, calling out a “Come on!” over his shoulder.

*

Creston Hope High looked somehow different on a Saturday morning. It was still the same building, of course, but the sudden emptiness startled me. The place looked bigger, yet less intimidating without flocks of teenagers staring daggers at you for no apparent reason. I expected Lukas to lead us to the front door, but instead he walked to the side of the school, a place I’d never been before. Having been at Creston for three weeks, I’d caught up on the rumors that this was, apparently, where the “Crackheads” hung out. And, judging by the mysterious smells in the air, I knew it was true.

“Being on the swimming team has its advantages,” Lukas mumbled under his breath as he showed me an abnormally large key. We approached the double doors that led into the gym, and Lukas bent down to open them. As the lock clicked, Lukas pulled one of the doors open and ushered me inside, following at my heels.

“Over here,” Lukas said, grabbing my arm lightly and steering me in the right direction. I resisted the urge to pull away, and shook my head to clear the thoughts that were forming.

We approached another door. This one was smaller and had Enter only with a teacher’s consent written on it in bold, white letters.

“I can’t believe they gave you the key to the school,” I muttered under my breath, looking around. “If something gets stolen, won’t you get blamed?” I knew I was only rambling to distract myself; his grip on my arm seemed to have gone through the thin fabric of my shirt, and imprinted itself onto my skin.

Lukas laughed, opening the door. “The gym’s locked up on the other side, so I can’t exactly steal anything except a basketball. And even then I would need the key to the equipment room.”

I found myself suddenly looking at a large indoor pool. The lights were off, but enough daylight spilled in through the windows placed high up on the walls so that I could see. The water was content and calm; a sheet of blue that was entirely different from the lake in my dream.

“You want to go in for a swim?” Lukas asked, shedding his shirt. “I just need to practice.”

His chest and stomach were tanned just like the rest of his body. He had a swimmer’s built – obviously – with toned biceps, and a stomach as flat as a board. Aside from the black hairs sprinkled along his chest, his tanned skin was smooth.

“Connor?” Lukas asked.

I tore my gaze away from him and coughed, which, embarrassingly enough, echoed throughout the room. Heat creeping up my cheeks, I mumbled, “No, I think I’m gonna sit in the bleachers.” I nodded, as if to assure myself, and walked away.

As soon as I sat down, I wondered what had happened in the past two hours that had changed everything between me and Lukas. He might not have known it, but I found him to be an annoying prick who couldn’t take a hint. Lukas had tried his hardest to get me to hang out with him and his friends – in other words, pity me because a) my father had died, and b) I was a loner. But now things were changing. Out of the blue, I’d decided that it was okay to not ignore him; even do something together that only friends would do.

A voice in my head told me it was because Lukas had somehow changed, too. Instead of controlling my social life, he’d left me alone ever since I’d become friends with Sam and Diamond. He would sometimes yell a greeting at me in the halls, but that was about as far as it went. So maybe it was Lukas, or perhaps I was just feeling generous, but now, apparently, we were going to be friends... Or something like that. The thought sounded childish and I dismissed it quickly, instead focusing on the figure in the pool.

For the next half an hour, I sat there and watched Lukas swim. His body moved in a fluid way throughout the water, cutting the surface with gentle strokes. A few times throughout he would slow down and float on his back, closing his eyes and carrying on a conversation with me. Then, with a fierce intensity on his face, he would dive back in, swimming furiously, and then give a loud whoop filled with happiness.

For reasons I couldn’t even begin to explain to myself, I was entranced with Lukas Reynolds. And only later, in the sanctuary of the guest room with the sheets pulled over my head, would I finally understand what that simple thought meant.