Ich Liebe Dich

Elizabeth stood in her kitchen with her best friend Zach. “Are you going to help me or not?” She asked with laughter flooding her voice. Zach had been her best friend since they met her freshman year in high school, how they managed to stay friends through high school and college neither of them were to sure but they were happy about it.

“Oh help with what? You’ve always made better cookies than me?” He smiled as he moved to the fridge to pull out the cookie dough that she had asked him to get out. “You know I was just thinking about something…” he said but let his words trail off. He wasn’t sure how she would take his feelings. He had been head over heels for Elizabeth since their junior year. He didn’t start to like her until then, he had always looked out for her their freshman and sophomore year, but junior year changed everything.

She smiled at him because he thought she made better cookies, “Yeah well I might make better cookies but you still make the best lasagna ever, hands down.” She smiled at him the smile covering her whole face.

The cookie dough got rolled out and the cookies were cut, she set the timer for 15 minutes. Elizabeth noticed the music playing in the background and knew that Zach was behind it. “Are you at least going to help me decorate my Christmas cookies?” She chuckled as she moved into the room that was the source of the music.

She saw Zach concentrating in the corner of the room where the fireplace was. She walked further into the room, “Bist du da?” he still didn’t move when she talked in German, and she usually did that when he wasn’t listening. She started to walk towards him at a slow pace; she stopped a few feet away from him. He never ignored her for long, what was with him tonight.

He seemed so out of it, which was so unusual, he was usually the happy-go-lucky guy who always made here laugh. He was never this sad on Christmas Eve he was usually begging to open one of the gifts she got him. He had yet to ask her to open on yet. She was worried now, Zach was so different tonight it was making her itch.

She looked out the window before moving any closer, it was the first snow of winter and it was Christmas Eve, how ironic. “Zach hast du mich gehört?” she said with a little frustration in her voice. She knew he sometimes got lost in thought, he was looking outside, but he was partially facing her. Elizabeth decided she should walk a little bit closer, “Zachbear?” she questioned using his pet name she gave him their freshman year in high school. He still didn’t move, “Du hast mich erschreckt.”

Zach looked at Elizabeth because he didn’t know what to tell her, he had loved her had since their junior year in high school, but to her he had always been the best friend. He had changed so much since high school, he was the nerdy country boy who grew up, slimed down, and looked like a football player even though he wasn’t. During high school he was in drum line, he always wore his camo hat to school. He would take a week of in the beginning of November just to go hunting in Pennsylvania. He was the definition of country boys.

Elizabeth only got classier as she went through school, which made Zach fall even further in love with her. She was the “oh dang I just broke a nail doing that stunt” cheerleader, she was the “lets roll in the dirt” softball player. She was the girl who got along with everyone but the popular kids. She never fit in with the football players or the other cheerleaders. She stuck with the academic team kids, the softball girls, and the country kids.

“Elizabeth, I want to tell you something.” He still had a look of concentration on his face as he looked at her. She didn’t know what he wanted to tell her but she was pretty sure she was afraid to hear what he had to say. She was afraid that after all this time he would tell her that he was moving away, he was going across the country.

“I’m not sure I want to know.” She said backing up until she was almost to the door way. “Please tell me it now, if I go into the kitchen do not follow me. I will tell you when it is okay.” she told him with fear written all over her face. She was terrified that he would tell her he was getting married to some nasty girl she didn’t like. There were plenty of his girlfriends she didn’t like because they were to snobby, only liked him because they could walk over him, they didn’t appreciate him.

“I have a secret to tell you Elizabeth.” He sighed running his hand over his face a stressful habit, “It all started our freshman year.” He looked up at her; she hadn’t run from fear yet. “I met this girl, she was gorgeous she saw something in me that I didn’t see in myself. I started to fall for this girl my junior year, but she just kept dating those stupid boys who broke her heart. I was always there to help pick up the pieces.” He laughed at the last part of this because he knew it was true.

Elizabeth gasped as she thought he was talking about someone else, “What?” She whispered, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to run or stay put and hear him out, either way it was looking like it was going to hurt a little bit. She knew it was hurting because she had immense pain in her chest, and tears were threatening to run down her face.

“We went off to college and stayed friends. Only problem was I was madly in love with her and she didn’t know it yet, she didn’t start to see me differently until I bulked up some, and grew up some. I have to thank all those days in the gym, and all those football players who helped me out.” He took a few steps towards her.

“This girl means the world to me. I honestly mean that Elizabeth, I was trying to tell her a way to tell her how I feel, the only thing I could come up with was a quote from a man by the name of E. Joseph Cossman he said ‘love is a friendship set to music.’ I truly believe that.” He started smiling widely and shifting his weight back and forth for a while before he could come up with words he wanted to say. “The music love makes is like a drummer going to his own drum, each love has their own beat. Friendship is simple and slow, but love oh it’s so complicated and rapid and ever changing.” He shoved his hands in his pocket and rocked his weight back and forth again.

Elizabeth looked at him, “what are you trying to say by that? I am so confused right now.” She said the tears finally escaping her eyes; she had truly fallen for her best friend and was afraid she was losing him. She didn’t want to fall for him but she did unwillingly and she fell like Alice fell in the rabbit hole.

“Oh gosh, you think that girl I dated six months ago, oh wow, no I only dated her to try and stop loving you. It didn’t work so well, I’m still madly in love with you.” He said rushing up to her he grabbed her up, he was about six foot four and she was only five foot one so it was a big height difference. He always hugged her like this, her feet dangling in the air, she felt secure even if it was weird. He set her down, “I didn’t want to love you, I felt so weak for loving the girl who just saw me as a friend.”

“You know I always looked forward to our Sunday night dinners and our Thanksgiving eve and Christmas Eve dinners. It was those nights where you were so open and happy nothing ever brought you down.” He told her with a lost look in his eyes. He moved a few steps away from her. “Du hast mein herz”

Elizabeth looked into his eyes; he had loved her since their junior year. She didn’t even know until now, but she had truly been in love with him for the past two years. Since the day she broke up with the nasty little lawyer from the opposing firm. She walked into his office because they were going out to lunch that afternoon. She walked into the office and what she found only made things worse.

Her boyfriend was cheating on her with another man, worst of all it was her partner. Her partner came up to her desk later that afternoon and apologized for her finding out about it that way. She left the firm, left her boyfriend, had no job, and she was heartbroken as usual. Once again Zach was there to hold her as she cried, over the job and her boyfriend.

“Zach ich liebe dich, warum? Huh, why didn’t you tell me earlier that you loved me?” she asked with a glare in her eyes, “because I’ve loved or liked you for the past two years, maybe longer but it hit me that I really liked you two years ago.” She smiled and did what she had wanted to do since that day two years ago when he was holding her and just sitting in silence healing her wounds. She kissed him, and she got lost.

She didn’t even hear the timer going off on her cookies. She was so engrossed in Zach that the house could be burning and she wouldn’t know. He pulled back first with his goofy lopsided grin with his one dimple. She punched him in his arm and then smacked him really hard. “What was that for?” He yelped as he moved his arm up to rub the spot that just got hit.

“That’s for not telling me sooner, and for all those years of college where all I could think about at night was you going around and being a man whore.” She growled at him, he knew she was serious and that she meant business. “I swear if you ever worry me again with a conversation like that oh god you’re dead. Just wait till the day I’m pregnant oh that’ll be the day that you die, because I’m going to screw with your head so bad.” She told him with a shit face grin and a laugh.

She started to go back towards the kitchen now that she heard the timer going off. “Let’s go decorate the best Christmas cookies ever? Okay, and then we can discus the future, if there might be one.” she told him sticking her tongue out at him as she ran into the kitchen to grab the icing and start to ice the cookies. Zach just meandered into the kitchen and helped her start icing cookies.

“Ich liebe dich.” He whispered under his breath, not worried about if she heard him or not, this was by far his greatest Christmas Eve ever.