Want Your Bad Romance

He sat with his hands clasped in his lap. I could tell he was clutching them tightly. He never liked interviews and I supposed this one was more difficult that usual.

A blonde woman sat in an overstuffed armchair with hideous upholstery, leaning forward, clearly overacting, exaggerating her interest.

“So what are you working on these days, Johnny? What can we look forward to seeing you in soon?”

“Oh, uh, I’ve been working on a bunch of stuff. Um...” He continued to fidget, clearly uncomfortable being himself on camera, without a persona to hide behind.

“Like what? When are you going to be on the big screen again?”

“Well, we wrapped Dark Shadows a few months ago. I guess that should be out soon, but I don’t know what goes on in editing and uh, you know...”

“That’s the vampire one, right?” the blonde asked.

“Yeah, yeah.”

“That one sounds really cool. Did you have fun filming it?”

“Yeah, I really did. It was - it was cool. It’s great to play someone so different. The costume was really cool.”

“We’ll keep an eye out for it. You’re filming something else now, right?”

“Yes, I’m working on a film called Shantaram.”

“What can you tell us about it? I mean, without getting you into any trouble - no spoilers, now,” she hammed to the audience, reaping a few quiet laughs.

“Well, it’s been in production for a while and we finally got to filming it about two months ago. John, John Bertram, the director, he’s a great guy, real easy to work with... Uh, I play an awkward little guy just searching for a dream, there’s not much more to it...”

“You’ve been filming this in France, yes?”

“I have, yes.” I mildly resented the question before remembering it was no longer just filming and his family and home in France that was keeping him away from me now.

“But you’re still living here in L.A. part time?”

“I’m still spending time here,” he answered plainly with a slow nod. I thought bitterly that he hadn’t exactly been spending much time “here in L.A.”

“That must be a lot of traveling,” the blonde suggested trying to appear sympathetic, I supposed.

“Um, yeah. I travel... you know, a bit,” he said, increasingly more uncomfortable.

“Do you take your family with you?” the blonde asked more directly.

“Not a lot, no. Unless Vanessa has a job over here or wants to go to an event, like a premiere or something, or we want to take the kids to the beach. I don’t like taking the kids out of school and Vanessa has her own stable career...” his voice faded off, his mic not able to pick up his uncomfortable mumbling.

“Do you miss them while you’re here?” the blonde spoke up again.

“Of course, of course I do. My kids are my life.”
The interviewer nodded understandingly before asking, “What about Vanessa?”

My blood ran cold when I realized where this line of questioning was going. Even though I had tried to prepare myself for this, it was becoming all too real all too fast.

“I do miss Vanessa, I do...”

“But?” the blonde interviewer prodded and I wanted to reach through the screen and smack her. Let him speak on his own terms, dammit.

“We’ve recently been reevaluating our relationship.” His awkward diction suggested someone had coached him about what to say but he was trying his best to avoid it.

“Oh? Can you explain exactly what that entails?” she prodded again, more gently this time, but still annoying.

“We’ve realized we don’t share the feelings we used to. We’re just... We’re not in love anymore, you know?”

“Wow. That’s kinda big,” the interviewer said needlessly. “So you and Vanessa are breaking up?” When Johnny nodded, she continued. “About how long would you say you two have been split?”

“Um... a few weeks now? Uh... three, three weeks, I think.” I couldn’t believe how candidly he was answering these questions.

“That was only a little while after that affair scandal that was all over the tabloids, wasn’t it?” I bit my lip as she moved onto even more direct questions.

Johnny nodded awkwardly in response and muttered, “Yeah.”

“Is there any truth to that? Is that why you and Vanessa split up?”

“Yes, there is some truth to that rumor, but the affair only revealed what was already there. Vanessa and I both knew for a couple of years, actually, that we weren’t in love anymore, we just didn’t speak about it. I met someone who makes me feel the way she used to and all the unsaid stuff kinda, you know, kinda just spilled out.” He gained confidence with his answer and I could tell how strongly he felt about what he was saying. He believed in what he was saying.

“So this is a mutual decision? You and Vanessa agree this is the best way to go?”

“Yes, I do, and she does. A loveless environment is no place to raise our kids and it’s not the kind of relationship either of us wants to be trapped in.” I noticed he wasn’t mentioning her affair - which was really the first offense.

“Could you maybe give us a name? Who is this mysterious woman of which you speak?” the interviewer adapted a new line of questioning and I felt my heart leap into my throat. “We all remember who was suspected in those initial tabloid reports, but we all know how reliable those are. Can you confirm our suspicions, put our minds at ease?”

“I have to say that’s her choice, you know. I don’t want to, you know, uh, put her in the spotlight like that, so I really can’t, uh, I really can’t confirm or deny any suspicions. Although, I can say it’s still not Madonna.”

I couldn’t help but smile along with the audiences light laughter.

“So do you have future plans with this mystery woman?” the blonde asked and I felt my smile die as I was filled with apprehension.

“I wouldn’t say we have exact plans, but I’m open to them. I would really like to, you know, spend my life with her.” Now he was looking directly at the camera, which he never did. “I love her.”

I felt a chill go up my spine at the certainty and emotion in his voice.

“Thank you for speaking with us today, Johnny,” the blonde interviewer said, interrupting my involuntary emotional response. “It’s always a pleasure to have you.” The interviewer continued to talk and the camera moved away from Johnny’s face, his interview concluded.

~

For the next hour, I sat curled in the corner of my couch, staring at the phone on the opposite couch arm. My back began to cramp and I could feel the blood slowly leaving my legs. Finally, in one swift move, I stood, reached past the handset for my cell phone, dialed a simple five - speed dial - and held the phone to my ear before I could lose my nerve.

I watched my shaking hands as I listened anxiously to the rings.

“Hello?”

I opened my mouth to speak, to answer, to say anything, really, but no sound came.

After the silence, he spoke again, softly.

“Jen.”

Of course he knew it was me - caller ID wasn’t exactly new - but something about the way he said my name hardened my resolve.

“What the hell was that?” I bit out.

I was answered first by a silence. Then he said simply, “The truth.”

“What do you mean ‘the truth’?”

“That’s how I feel, Jen. I love you.”

“What happened to the ‘taking a break’ shit?”

His voice seemed to be getting more gentle each time he spoke. “I needed to make sure,” he answered quietly.

“Sure of what?” I demanded again, not willing to play nice.

“My feelings for you,” he said after yet another pause. “I realized with such a delayed response to the tabloids, my interview would be the perfect opportunity to come clean, to go public, but I had to make sure it was what was best. For both of us.”

“Us? I wasn’t included in this discussion - “

“I know, but now I’m turning it over to you. I didn’t give your name. It’s your choice now. Do you want to see this through?”

Once again, I fell speechless.

“I’m going to go now, Jen. I love you.”

Still silent, I heard the click of him hanging up and followed his lead, placing my cell back on the end table.

I felt anger bubble inside of me. That was a hell of a decision to spring on someone. The fate of our recently paused relationship rests in your hands. Gee, thanks.

For both of us.
It’s your choice.
I love you.

His words kept echoing in my mind. Even though it was just his voice - and imaginationary, no less - I couldn’t stay mad for long. He’d given me a choice. He hadn’t shared my name. Now a great, if personal, responsibility rested on my shoulders.

My home phone was suddenly in my hand and Mike’s number was being dialed. As I listened to the ringing, I tried to decide what to do.

~

“Hello and welcome to The Daily Scope,” Alanna Jameson began. “Today we have author Jennifer Riley here to talk a little about her most recent works and life as an author.”

I’d always liked Alanna. Interviews with her felt like a simple conversation - she let the dialogue flow and never pushed too much. She had gentle features and brown hair that fell to her shoulders in soft, large curls. Her laugh always put me at ease and she seemed genuinely interested in whatever she was interviewing me about.

She turned to me.

“Hi, Jen. Thanks for coming.”

“Hey, Alanna, it’s no problem. I’m glad to be here.”

“Let’s just get right into it - Can you tell us a little about your most recent book?”

“Sure. Um, it’s another young adult novel, centered around two best friends - a boy and a girl, of course,” I noted the cliche with a chuckle. “The boy - his name’s Dean - has been in love with Sarah since they were really little. Sarah’s not exactly a tomboy but loves adventures and exploring, things like that. The book is a sort of journey into maturity, following how Dean’s love matures over time and how Sarah’s adventures evolve.”

“That sounds truly interesting. Do you remember how you found the inspiration for this novel?”

“I do remember this one, actually. I was watching my niece Carrie play at a park. This was about a year ago, so she would have been three. She was playing in the sandbox with this little boy and then suddenly ran to the swings. After a moment the boy followed her. Carrie kept running around, trying out different things on the playground and this little boy kept following her around like a puppy. I thought it was the most precious thing and of course I couldn’t help imagining them older.”

“Oh, that’s such a sweet story,” Alanna gushed. She turned to the camera and held up the tree-filled cover of my most recently published novel. “You can pick up Jen’s novel Our Ambition at your nearest bookstore or at Target for $9.99.”

Alanna put the book down and turned to me again.

“I hear you’re already working on a new novel,” she said.

“I am,” I answered with a slight nod.

“That’s kinda soon, isn’t it?” she asked.

I laughed good-heartedly. “I’m an author, Alanna. I take inspiration when I can get it.”

“Of course,” she said, laughing along. “So can you give us a little sneak peek at this new tale of yours?”

“Well, I can’t tell you that much, mostly because I don’t know much myself.” We both chuckled a little more. “I can tell you that it’s about a young actor who goes through a sort of early-life crisis and rebels.”

“Huh. That’s a little vague,” Alanna prodded.

“I know, I know,” I said, putting up my hands and playing along. “I’m sorry, but that’s all I feel comfortable sharing so far.”

“Alright,” Alanna said, feigning disappointment. “Speaking of rebellious actors,” she began, attempting a segue, “what’s this I hear about you and Johnny Depp? Apparently there are some nasty rumors circulating about an affair between you two. Is there any truth to it?”

I couldn’t help the blush that spread across my face so I glanced down to my hands in my lap. I couldn’t believe what I was about to say.

“As much as I hate to accredit those vultures,” I said, looking up as I regained my composure, “it is true. I am the mysterious other woman.”

“Wow,” Alanna said, seeming sincerely surprised, despite the fact we’d discussed what we’d include in the interview before the cameras had started rolling. “That’s quite a bombshell to drop. Do you mind if we talk about it a little?”

“Not at all,” I answered immediately, startled by my own readiness. I already felt as if I could breathe easier.

“So how long have you two been seeing each other?”

“Since about... I’d say about eight or nine months.”

“And he was still seeing Vanessa then, right?”

“Yes, he was. I actually met her a few months earlier and she’s a delightful woman.”

“So how did you and Johnny begin your affair?”

“Well, he approached me at one of my signings and proposed the idea. I took a little while to think about it, but we all know what decision I came to now, I guess.”

“Do you regret anything? Do you think this was the best way for things to play out?”

“Um, I do have a little regret, I mean, Vanessa’s a big part of Johnny’s life, I mean, she’s the mother of his children, and I hate that we’ve kept this from her for so long, but I do think things worked out for the best. As I understand it, when you’re a father, or a parent for that matter, you put your children before everything, even yourself. But I think if you neglect yourself too much, it begins to affect your children. Your kids can tell when you’re not happy. I mean no disrespect to Vanessa, but I don’t think she or Johnny were happy with their relationship.”

“Would you say he’s happy with you?”

“It’s a little hard for me to answer that, I guess. Keeping our relationship a secret was definitely hard on him, on both of us. I know he didn’t like keeping things from his family. But I do think he was at least happier as an individual.”

“Do you two have any plans for the future?”

“Actually, no, not really. We haven’t talked much about the future, no.”

“You spoke about his children. Have you met them, gotten to spend any time with them?”

“I have not, but I would love to, if it’s okay with their mother. They’re the light of Johnny’s life and I would be honored to get to know them.”

“It sounds like things are going to work out well for you guys. I look forward to seeing you two come together in the future.”

“Thanks, Alanna. Me too.”

“Now, back to your writing...”

The interview trailed on, touching upon my previous works, my family, my schedule. Another thing I loved about Alanna - it wasn’t all about the scandal.

~

I’d begun to write again after the interview - not much, but every work counted. I hadn’t heard from Johnny since the phone call after his interview had broadcasted, two weeks ago. My interview had aired a couple nights ago.

I was eating a banana and staring at my blank word document with an expression quite similar to the computer screen when I was startled by the sound of the doorbell. I finished by banana and threw the peel away, casting one last glance at the blinking cursor before abandoning my desk to answer the door. My breath caught when I pulled it open.

On my step stood a very disheveled Johnny Depp, his beanie askew and jean legs half-tucked into his boots. Instantly, I knew he had come directly from the airport.

He simply stood there, yet again waiting for me to make the decision. Without another moment’s hesitation, I grabbed his over-sized flannel and pulled him to me, hugging him as we stood in the threshold. I felt his arms circle around me. I’d forgotten just how right this felt.

~Fin~