Want Your Bad Romance

I didn't see Johnny for weeks afterward.

A few days after the premiere, he called and left a message on my answering machine.

"Hi Jen, it's Johnny. I think we should, uh, talk… um… you know, over a… a coffee or something. What do you say? Um…" He left his number and said he'd like to hear from me.

In his message, he sounded so nervous — like he was answering questions on an uncomfortable talk show. In my mind's eye, I could see him loosening his shirt collar, rubbing his lips with his forefinger in that extremely attractive way of his, smiling shyly as he looked to the ground…

I couldn't get up the nerve to call him back. I could just picture how our "talk" would go. He'd apologize for what happened outside the premiere, even though it was my fault, and I would say so. He'd say I was a wonderful lady, but he didn't have those feelings for me and that he was sure there was someone else for me. I'd say that he's a wonderful man and friend as well as father and that I wouldn't dream of interfering with his family and his relationship with Vanessa…

But one thing didn't add up. That night, right before we kissed, I'd seen something in his eyes. Some kind of spark, something that had told me he and I — we — had chemistry… something compatible, even tangible.

~

Patrice Kindl, and I, Jennifer Riley, were sitting side-by-side at the front of a bookstore, stacks of our own novels next to us. We had set up a book signing to benefit the local, independent bookstore. Younger teens stood in a line in front of her, and older teens queued in front of me. Parents were scattered among them.

A girl stepped up in front of me. She looked to be around fourteen or fifteen, and had light blonde hair. She had a smooth tan and pretty, deep-blue eyes.

"Hello. What's your name?" I asked her with a smile.

She glanced at the ground shyly, and answered, "Anna."

I cracked open a copy and found the title page. "I have a feeling you like the beach, Anna."

She looked surprised. "Yeah," she smiled.

"And do you have a boyfriend?"

She scoffed a little and answered, "No."

"Ah. They don't know what they're missing," I told her with a wink. "I think you'll enjoy this one," I said after I signed my name, snapping the cover closed and handing it to her.

"Thank you," she beamed, then turned and left to pay for it at the registers.

The next fan in line was a quite a bit taller. When I looked up to his face, I was glad I was holding onto the table, otherwise I would have fallen out of my chair. I looked to Pat, who was wearing an expression of utter bewilderment as well. I cleared my throat and tried to recover.

"Hello. Fancy seeing you here." I tried to answer, but couldn't. "Did you get my phone message?" he asked.

"Um, yeah, sorry I hadn't returned your call yet… I've been, um… busy…"

I heard Pat absentmindedly ask for her fan's name, still following our conversation. I hadn't told her I'd met Johnny Depp. I turned to her and smiled sheepishly, hoping to convey I'd tell her later. She nodded and turned back to the book she was signing.

"I see that," Johnny answered me. "I do think we need to talk, though."

"Of course," I mumbled.

"Do you think we could get some coffee after you're done here?"

"Actually, Pat and I— " I was interrupted when she slapped me on the knee. "I mean, yeah. That'd be good."

I looked to the stack of books next to me. "Would you like a signed copy?" I asked.

"Of course," he said with a smile.

Still a bit stunned, I took a book off the pile and opened it to the title page.

Enjoy this tale of adventure, growth, and fantasy, I wrote. With much love, I wish you happy reading. I signed my name.

It was what I'd written on nearly all the others, but for some reason, it felt much different. I slowly closed the book and looked back up into his eyes. He smiled down at me, and I could feel myself grin back. "Enjoy," I mumbled.

"I'm sure I will. Thank you."

~

After the signing, I caught his eye again — he was sitting in the bookstore's cafe, in a seat with the perfect vantage point to see our table. Once everything was cleaned up, I turned to Pat. "I'll um… talk to you later?"

She glanced at Johnny. "Yeah, sure."

"Thanks for asking me to do the joint signing," I said as I hugged her.

"Of course. No one I'd rather do it with," she said with a smile and waved as she left.

I took a deep breath and headed toward the table. I ran through what he was about to say in my head. I'm sorry about what happened at the premiere. You're a wonderful woman, but I just don't have those feelings for you… Practically the same thing I'd imagined when I heard his voice on my answering machine.

However, the genuine welcoming smile he greeted me with didn't exactly fit in with my expectations.

He didn't say anything when I sat. After a short moment of awkward silence, I asked, "How's the coffee?"

"Good. The book's better, though."

I blushed and thanked him, noticing he was holding it open to about the second chapter. He simply looked at me for another moment before using his receipt as a bookmark and setting the novel aside. I had decided I was going to let him talk first.

That was a bit harder than I anticipated, as he started with small talk. He offered me something to eat or drink and I refused. He asked how I was, I said fine. I asked how he'd been, he answered the same.

"Actually, I've been thinking about the premiere," he continued.

Ah, finally, I thought.

Our eyes locked. We were both silent and once more, I saw that something I'd seen right before we'd kissed. I was aware of every inch of my body and how much I'd have to move to touch him.

"I'm not sorry," he said.

"What?" I asked, startled.

"I'm not sorry. About what happened outside that night."

"Oh." I broke eye contact before I could do something else I would regret.

"I really like you, Jen." I brought my gaze back up to search for a hint of a joke. I didn't find one.

After a second, I asked, "What are you saying?"

"I'd like to see where a relationship between us would go."

Feeling like a complete imbecile, but needing to be sure, I asked quietly — almost conspiratorially — "Are you suggesting an affair?" I sounded appalled, even to myself.

He looked around ponderingly, as though he hadn't thought of it that way. "I guess so, yeah."

I was flabbergasted.

He was proposing an affair as if offering… to vacuum my living room or something. Would this be his first affair, or was he used to hiding things from the mother of his children? Did he want the thrill of keeping a secret like this? Or did he feel the something between us that I did?

Having an affair would be wrong. It wouldn't be fair to Vanessa, or to his children. If it was found out, it would tear apart his family. The press would go haywire. We would both lose our respectable reputations and I would lose my precarious perch just outside of the limelight.

I looked into his eyes again. Those eyes that I just wanted to fall into and never find a way out of—

"Can I think about it?" I surprised myself by asking. I'd planned to say no.

"Of course," he said, and he took a sip of his coffee.