Status: the end...oh so sad to see Jord go...look for the sequel!
And I Don't Want The World to See Me
Going Home
The day after I tried to go to the clinic I went to the Verizon store. Bought a new phone, got a new identity. The only people that were calling now were Mom, Steven, and Justin. Not even a week after that Justin starts calling me at my new number, which I don’t mind as long as it’s not Mom sobbing on the answering machine or Steven making me feel guilty. Justin just called to say hi, give me the update, “Mom and Dad wanna know where you are…don’t we all? Maci took her first seven steps today. Grandma went into the hospital for surgery…” and that would be it. Sometimes I even wanted to answer, how the hell did he get my number? But I had to remind myself to refrain because I didn’t want him relaying information to Mom or Dad or Steven or Matt or anyone.
I got a pay cut from the pet place too, which I am totally pissed off about. God, life couldn’t be getting any worse and now there’s a new girl at the apartment named Maggie which makes me feel like a bad person, now wherever I go, there’s something to remind me that I had a beautiful life before I ran away, and beautiful friends. Anyway, now that there’s a new girl it means either me or she has to sleep on the floor and I don’t want to sleep on the floor but I have a feeling it’s gonna be me. At least if I sleep on Jessica and Chloe’s bedroom floor there will even be a little carpeting and if I put a comforter down and sleep with another blanket it won’t even be bad…
Aw, who the hell am I kidding? This life is shit and I know it. New Jersey is looking better and better each day. To make matters worse, I barely have enough money to get doctor’s appointments and my vitamins and pills and shit I have to take. I want to go home so bad that sometimes my whole body aches. Maybe if I can tough it out another week here I can get enough money for gas to go home. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. And Justin and Mom and Dad will be so happy to see me and I bet Steven will come home just to see me and Matt will beg for me back but I won’t let him have me because I’m madly in love with Steven. And when Steven gets back from Penn maybe he’ll love me too and he won’t even care that everyone we kept our relationship a secret from will be watching and he’ll kiss me until we both feel dizzy and out of breath and it will be just perfect.
But I can’t go, not until the end of the week when I get my paychecks and I can cash them in and get money to get gas and get home. Sometimes I completely forget that I have a car waiting in a garage for me to use whenever I want. At least that’s taken care of.
Oh, now that it’s all planned, I feel so happy and excited to be going back home. I don’t even care that Mom and Dad will probably never let me leave the house ever again. I probably won’t ever leave the house anyway if I’m going to have a baby…
****
The week passed and Justin called seven more times, once each day. He updated me on how Mom and Dad, Maci, Grandma, and Matt was doing. He never told me about himself but he did mention the fact that Tara was going to be there Saturday to see him and Maci and that Steven would be home for Christmas break which lasted from right now which is the beginning of December to the middle of January. I’m quite jealous. Anyway, what that means is he’ll already be home.
I thought about calling Justin before I turned the key in the ignition but I decided against it. I wanted this to be a surprise. I made sure to wear my loose jeans and a loose Phillies T-shirt because I was almost five months along and I was starting to show. I played the radio on the way home but got bored of commercials and pulled over for a few minutes to see what CD’s I had forgotten in the glove box. There was Fall Out Boy, Paramore, a Barney CD, and Avenged Sevenfold. I couldn’t decide so I eenie-meenie-minee-mo’d it and ended up with Fall Out Boy which I didn’t want to listen to so I tried again and came up with Barney and I didn’t want to listen to that either so I did it again and Avenged Sevenfold was picked. I decided that wasn’t so bad so I put it into the CD player and let it play.
I got a pay cut from the pet place too, which I am totally pissed off about. God, life couldn’t be getting any worse and now there’s a new girl at the apartment named Maggie which makes me feel like a bad person, now wherever I go, there’s something to remind me that I had a beautiful life before I ran away, and beautiful friends. Anyway, now that there’s a new girl it means either me or she has to sleep on the floor and I don’t want to sleep on the floor but I have a feeling it’s gonna be me. At least if I sleep on Jessica and Chloe’s bedroom floor there will even be a little carpeting and if I put a comforter down and sleep with another blanket it won’t even be bad…
Aw, who the hell am I kidding? This life is shit and I know it. New Jersey is looking better and better each day. To make matters worse, I barely have enough money to get doctor’s appointments and my vitamins and pills and shit I have to take. I want to go home so bad that sometimes my whole body aches. Maybe if I can tough it out another week here I can get enough money for gas to go home. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. And Justin and Mom and Dad will be so happy to see me and I bet Steven will come home just to see me and Matt will beg for me back but I won’t let him have me because I’m madly in love with Steven. And when Steven gets back from Penn maybe he’ll love me too and he won’t even care that everyone we kept our relationship a secret from will be watching and he’ll kiss me until we both feel dizzy and out of breath and it will be just perfect.
But I can’t go, not until the end of the week when I get my paychecks and I can cash them in and get money to get gas and get home. Sometimes I completely forget that I have a car waiting in a garage for me to use whenever I want. At least that’s taken care of.
Oh, now that it’s all planned, I feel so happy and excited to be going back home. I don’t even care that Mom and Dad will probably never let me leave the house ever again. I probably won’t ever leave the house anyway if I’m going to have a baby…
****
The week passed and Justin called seven more times, once each day. He updated me on how Mom and Dad, Maci, Grandma, and Matt was doing. He never told me about himself but he did mention the fact that Tara was going to be there Saturday to see him and Maci and that Steven would be home for Christmas break which lasted from right now which is the beginning of December to the middle of January. I’m quite jealous. Anyway, what that means is he’ll already be home.
I thought about calling Justin before I turned the key in the ignition but I decided against it. I wanted this to be a surprise. I made sure to wear my loose jeans and a loose Phillies T-shirt because I was almost five months along and I was starting to show. I played the radio on the way home but got bored of commercials and pulled over for a few minutes to see what CD’s I had forgotten in the glove box. There was Fall Out Boy, Paramore, a Barney CD, and Avenged Sevenfold. I couldn’t decide so I eenie-meenie-minee-mo’d it and ended up with Fall Out Boy which I didn’t want to listen to so I tried again and came up with Barney and I didn’t want to listen to that either so I did it again and Avenged Sevenfold was picked. I decided that wasn’t so bad so I put it into the CD player and let it play.
♠ ♠ ♠
so this one is unbelievably short and i'm sorry about that. chapter 13 up soon promise.Lindsey Rosie