And I Don't Want The World to See Me

Chapter 8:
We laid for a long while in that comfortably uncomfortable position. My phone rang and while I wanted more than anything to just let it go, I couldn’t. I reached over the center council and into the cup holder where my phone always was, my fingers just barely grazed the antenna that I pulled it up by. I flipped it open with my chin and held it up to my ear.
“Hello?” I answer, my voice strained because I was putting pressure on my lungs.
“Jordan? Jordan?” I knew that voice and it wasn’t who I expected.
“Yeah?” I answered.
“We can’t find Steven,” Matt informed me.
My jaw almost dropped, of course something this perfect could never last. “Nonsense. I’m sure he’ll turn up later.”
“He didn’t even leave a note,” Matt told me.
“Did you bring your phone?” I mouthed to Steven and he shook his head. I rolled my eyes. “Just give him a few hours, he’ll turn up.”
There was silence. “Jordan?”
“Yes?” I answered.
“That’s not the only reason I called.”
My jaw practically dropped and my eyes almost popped out of my head. “Yeah?”
“I want you back, Jord,” he said.
“Oh, no. No, no, no, no,” I said just about to hang up.
“Wait! Jord, I’m falling apart without you here.”
“That’s bull shit, Matt,” I said. “I’m done talking to you.” I flipped my phone shut and slammed it down on Steven’s chest.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, smoothing his hand over my hair.
“Your whole family thinks your missing.”

****

It ended up with Steven calling on my cell from a blocked number and telling them that he’s fine. After he hung up and we were heading back home I started thinking back to the cave. We hadn’t used protection…but I was on the pill so things had to be fine. I didn’t worry to much about it and soon my thoughts were running from there. It took us about five hours to get home, less than what it took for us to get “lost” so I guess we were on good time. It was really dark out when we finally pulled up in front of his friend Jared’s house. He hopped out and Jared opened the door and I waved bye before heading back to my own house. I wonder why no one sent out a search party for me?

****

I crept into my own house, it was actually a lot later than I thought it’d been. 2 AM. I went into my room and dug underneath my bed in the storage bins until I found the orange stuffed bear that I’d told Steven about. I hadn’t actually slept with him in a few years, but this was worthy of it. I tucked him under my arm and got comfy in my bed before leaning down to his neon orange ear and whispering all the details of this amazing day.

****

The next morning, happy tears were dried on my face. I yawned and stretched and my toes curled under. I thought back to the day before, the pure ecstasy. I flung my covers off my body and went into the kitchen, the clock read 10:30. Justin was sitting at the table, Maci was in her high chair that had Cheerios spilled across it. Mom and Dad must have already left for work since there was no trace of them in the house.
“Have a nice day yesterday?” Justin asked as I made myself a bowl of cereal.
I shrugged and said, “It was alright.” However, I couldn’t stop the smile that came to my face.
“Whatever you say,” Justin said, eating some more cereal. Maci made squeaking noises in her high chair beside him and slammed her hands on the table being a happy little baby like she was.
That was when I knew I had to get out. That moment was when I realized I couldn’t bring that kind of drama into this little baby’s life. I needed to get out, however I didn’t know where I was going to. I had been saving up for a while for a car so I guess I could just use that money, I actually had a lot. I couldn’t tell anyone either.
Maybe I could go somewhere close, somewhere where I could keep an eye on things without being the trouble I was. I should probably get out as soon as possible too. Maybe tonight, even. Sometime within this week because if me and Dad had anymore fallouts like we had last night…

****

It was night time again and I decided it was my time. I had been packing little by little all day, hiding it on the other side of my bed. By the time it hit midnight, my dressers were empty and cleared off. My books had a whole bag for themselves. My room was bare and looked not lived in.
Justin was in his room asleep and so were my parents. I slipped out the back door then out the fence to the driveway to put my bags in my car because it was quieter that way. I remembered back to my younger years when Justin would be sitting in front of the computer, playing some stupid video game at midnight and that’s how I would sneak out. Not once did I get caught sneaking out, sneaking back in was the harder part. But, after Justin got Tara knocked up and he had moved out, the house felt stranger. Empty. Not lived in.
It was my turn now though. My turn to run and never look back like Justin had planned but he came running back when everything turned south. But I wouldn’t do that because I wouldn’t need help. If I ever even thought about coming back, I’ll surely be mocked and made fun of until the day I die. And even though I’ll laugh along and pretend everything’s fine and it doesn’t bother me, deep down I know I’ll be wondering. What it’d be like if I had stayed away, no intentions of turning back. So that’s what I did.