Liar, Liar, Tell Me The Truth
1/1.
I never told a lie, and that makes me a liar.
I had it all. Amazing friends. People knew me. I was starting as a freshman in high school, and I thought I had it all figured out. Life was going great. Was going great.
But then, he had to go and ruin it.
A month into my freshman year, just when I thought life was perfect. I had been invited to Brent’s party. Brent, a senior, and easily the most popular guy in our 5A high school. No freshman ever got invited to those – but I was special. At least, that’s what hetold me. I had even managed to get my best friends invited.
Too bad I didn’t know how much that party would screw up my life.
***
My alarm went off at 6:30 p.m.
At first, I wondered why I had set my alarm for such a random time, and I almost went back to sleep. But then, I remembered – I was going to Brent’s party!
Almost as if on cue, my best friends Brendon, Ren and Ana burst through my bedroom door, here to help me get ready. Ren headed towards my closet, and tossed random articles of clothing out at me. Ana dug through her makeup bag, and Brendon watched with a look of dumbstruck amazement as I struggled to balance the clothes being thrown at me.
“Wow,” Brendon breathed, flopping down onto my bed.
“Wow is right. Hold these, I have a feeling I’m fixing to be attacked.” I dumped my clothes into his open arms. A second later, Ren came towards us. She dug through the clothes as Brendon struggled to keep a handle on them, and pulled out a pair of skinny jeans and a striped, off-the-shoulder Hollister shirt with a black tank top to go under it. She shoved them at me and told me to put them on.
As soon as I was done with that, it was Ana’s turn to attack me. She draped a retro-looking beaded black necklace around my neck and made me sit still while she did my makeup.
After an hour, they finally let up on the torture and declared me ready – or, ready to their satisfaction. I would have gone how I looked, but I “had to look nice for Brent, he likes you.”
Of course.
***
Brent smirked as he handed me what had to be my tenth bottle of... I don’t know what. But, it was bitter, and it smelled absolutely terrible. I think the only reason I was drinking it still was because it came from Brent.
The liquid tasted an awful lot like beer, but my naïve mind told me that Brent wouldn’t do that to me when I had specifically told him that I didn’t want anything to do with any alcohol. Even so, I kept telling myself I shouldn’t drink it, because whatever it was probably was not good for me in mass quantities. That thought kept getting shoved further and further back in my mind, though, the more I had. Finally, it just disappeared altogether.
Ana, Ren and Brendon had disappeared, too. They had kept giving me disapproving looks, and telling me that I probably should stop drinking every time that Brent left to get me another bottle. They insisted it was beer, even though I told them Brent wouldn’t do that to me. They left somewhere around my fifth bottle. I had said something to Brendon, though I couldn’t remember what, and they stormed away. I hadn’t seen them since. Maybe I should have looked for them. But then Brent walked up with another bottle...
“ThankyouBrent,” I slurred/gushed at him. The bottle was downed in three sloppy gulps.
He smirked. “Hey, Mira, what say we go somewhere more private?”
I blinked blearily at him as I tried not to yawn. Sleep was threatening to overcome me. But he couldn’t know that. He’d probably think I was childish if he knew I usually went to bed before ten thirty.
So, I nodded eagerly and set my empty bottle down in the table next to the couch. All around me, there were couples strewn across the furniture and tangled together. It almost looked fun. Brent held his hand out to me, and I grabbed it with an excited smile and a forced giggle to stifle the yawn trying to escape. Another giggle burst from my lips as I tugged on his hand, trying to get his attention. “Wherearewegoing?” I slurred out.
He turned around and grinned, but he didn’t release my hand as he continued up the stairs. I giggle again at his reply. “Just follow me, baby doll.”
And I did. Right into the first empty room we found. As I looked around the dimly lit room, I saw a huge bed. It almost looked like two king sized beds had been shoved together and covered with one huge sheet.
Nearly sighing with relief, I released Brent’s hand and crawled into the corner of the wall that the bed had been shoved into. I sprawled onto my back and closed my eyes.
I heard the zip of a zipper, the rustle of a hand being pushed into and pulled out of a pocket, the rip of plastic. But nothing struck me as out of the ordinary. For some reason, it didn’t alarm me. I didn’t register anything as wrong. I was too exhausted to even open my eyes.
That is, until I felt the corner of the bed sink down. I smiled and cracked open one eyelid. Only then did I realize just how wrong the situation was. But it was too late, then.
The smile slid off my face, replaced by a look of what I’m sure was utter horror. My green eyes probably looked like they were about to pop out of their sockets as I tried to escape.
But he cornered me, and he pinned me down. He straddled my waist as he peeled off my clothes and began talking. “You know, Mira. You have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen... It’s not fair that Brendon gets you all to himself. Bet you have no idea how long I have been planning this.” His voice was slimy, and I shivered in absolute terror at the maniacal look in his once beautiful grey eyes.
I tried to struggle. With all my might, I tried to get away. But he was just so heavy. So strong... And I was just so tired. He was just so... big compared to my small frame. He was just so strong...
The last thing I felt was a great pain, like my skin was being ripped open. Agonizing screams ripped from my mouth, but that only seemed to encourage him. To arouse him more. No one came to my rescue. No one cared... I begged with him. I pleaded, desperately. “Brent... no...”
He smiled, maliciously. “Mira, yes.”
***
For some reason, I chose to go to school the next week, as if nothing had ever happened. Maybe I hoped that if I didn’t speak of it, and if I acted like nothing had happened, everything would be normal. It didn’t work out that way, though.
That day was nothing short of miserable. Everyone seemed to be glaring at me. It was like they all knew what had happened, but they had all heard the wrong version of the story. Somehow, I had become the bad guy. Brent and I were playing a game of he said, she said, and he was the definite winner.
Not even my best friends were in my side.
***
I walked into the school, feeling miserable. My mood brightened, just in the slightest, when I saw my best friend, though. “Hey, Brendon.” I tried to sound cheery.
And then, my heart sank again as he ignored me. He just kept walking past, not even sparing me a glance. “Brendon?” I whispered, hopelessly. His pace seemed to quicken. I chased after his, trying to get his attention. “Brendon. Brendon? Brendon William Trata, stop!” I caught up to him, finally, and grabbed his shoulder, which forced him to stop.
He jerked around towards me and glared at my hand, but I kept it on his shoulder so he wouldn’t try to walk away again. “What do you want,” he snarled.
“What is your problem, Brendon?”
“Oh, I don’t know, Mira,” he said coldly. His tone, usually so caring, hurt more that both his words and his actions. “Why don’t you ask your new boyfriend, Brent?” He wrenched his shoulder out of my grip and turned to walk away.
“My-my boyfriend? Brendon, I have no clue what you’re talking about. He’s not-,”
He stopped and turned around to face me. The expression on his face, one of absolute and total disgust, made me halt in the middle of my thought. “Oh, come on, Mira, you act like I haven’t got eyes. It’s not like I didn’t see you going upstairs with Brent. Awful hard to miss, weren’t you? You were giggling like a complete idiot. You act like I don’t remember what you said to me.”
“What... what I said?”
“Oh, come on, Mira!” He gave me another disgusted look and mimicked me in a high falsetto. “‘Shut up, Brendon. You’re just jealous because I like Brent more than you. It’s notmy fault that he’s being so nice to me. Why don’t you just get out of my life, if you’re going to be so jealous of every guy who takes interest in me? I don’t even like you!’”
“You... You don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s not what you think...”
“So you’re saying you didn’t go upstairs with Brent?”
“I did, but I was-,”
“What, Mira? You were what, exactly? What’s your excuse this time?”
“...I was... I was drunk...” I said quietly. My gaze fell ashamedly to my feet.
“We tried to get you to stop drinking what he was giving you! Whatever happened to ‘Brent would never give me alcohol. He respects my wishes,’ huh, Mira? We told you! But did you listen? Of course not, you never do! And what’s your excuse for going upstairs – into a bedroom, no less – with him? Were you just itching to get laid? What kind of lie are you going to make up for that one?”
“I wasn’t... he...” I trailed off, unable to come up with the right words.
“Whatever, Mira,” he said disgustedly. At that moment, Ana and Ren walked up. At first, I saw a flicker of sadness in their eyes. But then, it was replaced by disgusted anger. Just like Brendon.
“We all saw you, Mira.” Ren. Her usually playful eyes held such hatred.
I looked up at her, pleading. “But I-,”
“You can’t lie your way out of this.” I don’t think I had ever heard Ana’s voice be so cruel as in that moment.
“But Brent-,” I tried again.
“Whatever, Mira,” Brendon said sadly. His heartbroken tone caught me off guard, and sent a stabbing pain through my heard. I had hurt my Brendon... He shook his head. “It’s over. We don’t want to deal with your drama anymore.” And with a sad look from each of them, they were gone from my life for good.
Subconsciously, I backed up. It was like my mind was trying to escape from the source of my pain, the disappearing silhouettes of my former best friends. With a dull thud, my back pressed against the plaster wall. I slid down it, burying my face into my hands. The words, useless now that nobody could hear them, were muffled by my palms.
“But I was raped...”
***
My life was basically ruined. I told my mom, eventually. She did everything she could to help. But it wasn’t enough. Nothing was enough...
I started to do bad things to myself. Terrible things. Self mutilation. Drugs. Alcohol. My life pedaled downhill, and I just couldn’t catch up with it. My mom tried to stop me. To help me.
But I just couldn’t be helped.
I was getting farther and farther out of control. It was like falling out of a tree, and reaching out to catch a branch, only to find that there wasn’t one there to grab a hold of. I was spiraling faster and faster out of control, falling lower and lower.
But no one bothered to catch me.
***
I sobbed, my razor in one hand, and drew in a sharp breath as I made yet another cut, just between two barely sealed over cuts on the inside of my wrist. I watched warm, red liquid drip down my palm and onto my fingertips, and I felt some of my anguish go with it.
My gaze traveled from my wooden floor to my window. Lightening flashed across the dark blue sky. I felt I could sympathize with the sky, which almost seemed to be crying with me. I knew exactly how it felt – like no one was there for it.
I gave a frustrated cry and made another, deeper cut just above the one I had made seconds before. It seemed all I could do was mess up! I watched blood drip a little faster down my fingers than it had before. With my other hand, I numbly traced the cuts.
Slowly, I stood up and walked to the medicine cabinet. My hands searched though it like they had a mind of their own. They left bloody fingerprints on everything they touched. A bottle of aspirin came into view. I filled a glass of water and swallowed every pill. I was done with this world.
I never told a lie, and that makes me a liar.
I had it all. Amazing friends. People knew me. I was starting as a freshman in high school, and I thought I had it all figured out. Life was going great. Was going great.
But then, he had to go and ruin it.
A month into my freshman year, just when I thought life was perfect. I had been invited to Brent’s party. Brent, a senior, and easily the most popular guy in our 5A high school. No freshman ever got invited to those – but I was special. At least, that’s what hetold me. I had even managed to get my best friends invited.
Too bad I didn’t know how much that party would screw up my life.
***
My alarm went off at 6:30 p.m.
At first, I wondered why I had set my alarm for such a random time, and I almost went back to sleep. But then, I remembered – I was going to Brent’s party!
Almost as if on cue, my best friends Brendon, Ren and Ana burst through my bedroom door, here to help me get ready. Ren headed towards my closet, and tossed random articles of clothing out at me. Ana dug through her makeup bag, and Brendon watched with a look of dumbstruck amazement as I struggled to balance the clothes being thrown at me.
“Wow,” Brendon breathed, flopping down onto my bed.
“Wow is right. Hold these, I have a feeling I’m fixing to be attacked.” I dumped my clothes into his open arms. A second later, Ren came towards us. She dug through the clothes as Brendon struggled to keep a handle on them, and pulled out a pair of skinny jeans and a striped, off-the-shoulder Hollister shirt with a black tank top to go under it. She shoved them at me and told me to put them on.
As soon as I was done with that, it was Ana’s turn to attack me. She draped a retro-looking beaded black necklace around my neck and made me sit still while she did my makeup.
After an hour, they finally let up on the torture and declared me ready – or, ready to their satisfaction. I would have gone how I looked, but I “had to look nice for Brent, he likes you.”
Of course.
***
Brent smirked as he handed me what had to be my tenth bottle of... I don’t know what. But, it was bitter, and it smelled absolutely terrible. I think the only reason I was drinking it still was because it came from Brent.
The liquid tasted an awful lot like beer, but my naïve mind told me that Brent wouldn’t do that to me when I had specifically told him that I didn’t want anything to do with any alcohol. Even so, I kept telling myself I shouldn’t drink it, because whatever it was probably was not good for me in mass quantities. That thought kept getting shoved further and further back in my mind, though, the more I had. Finally, it just disappeared altogether.
Ana, Ren and Brendon had disappeared, too. They had kept giving me disapproving looks, and telling me that I probably should stop drinking every time that Brent left to get me another bottle. They insisted it was beer, even though I told them Brent wouldn’t do that to me. They left somewhere around my fifth bottle. I had said something to Brendon, though I couldn’t remember what, and they stormed away. I hadn’t seen them since. Maybe I should have looked for them. But then Brent walked up with another bottle...
“ThankyouBrent,” I slurred/gushed at him. The bottle was downed in three sloppy gulps.
He smirked. “Hey, Mira, what say we go somewhere more private?”
I blinked blearily at him as I tried not to yawn. Sleep was threatening to overcome me. But he couldn’t know that. He’d probably think I was childish if he knew I usually went to bed before ten thirty.
So, I nodded eagerly and set my empty bottle down in the table next to the couch. All around me, there were couples strewn across the furniture and tangled together. It almost looked fun. Brent held his hand out to me, and I grabbed it with an excited smile and a forced giggle to stifle the yawn trying to escape. Another giggle burst from my lips as I tugged on his hand, trying to get his attention. “Wherearewegoing?” I slurred out.
He turned around and grinned, but he didn’t release my hand as he continued up the stairs. I giggle again at his reply. “Just follow me, baby doll.”
And I did. Right into the first empty room we found. As I looked around the dimly lit room, I saw a huge bed. It almost looked like two king sized beds had been shoved together and covered with one huge sheet.
Nearly sighing with relief, I released Brent’s hand and crawled into the corner of the wall that the bed had been shoved into. I sprawled onto my back and closed my eyes.
I heard the zip of a zipper, the rustle of a hand being pushed into and pulled out of a pocket, the rip of plastic. But nothing struck me as out of the ordinary. For some reason, it didn’t alarm me. I didn’t register anything as wrong. I was too exhausted to even open my eyes.
That is, until I felt the corner of the bed sink down. I smiled and cracked open one eyelid. Only then did I realize just how wrong the situation was. But it was too late, then.
The smile slid off my face, replaced by a look of what I’m sure was utter horror. My green eyes probably looked like they were about to pop out of their sockets as I tried to escape.
But he cornered me, and he pinned me down. He straddled my waist as he peeled off my clothes and began talking. “You know, Mira. You have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen... It’s not fair that Brendon gets you all to himself. Bet you have no idea how long I have been planning this.” His voice was slimy, and I shivered in absolute terror at the maniacal look in his once beautiful grey eyes.
I tried to struggle. With all my might, I tried to get away. But he was just so heavy. So strong... And I was just so tired. He was just so... big compared to my small frame. He was just so strong...
The last thing I felt was a great pain, like my skin was being ripped open. Agonizing screams ripped from my mouth, but that only seemed to encourage him. To arouse him more. No one came to my rescue. No one cared... I begged with him. I pleaded, desperately. “Brent... no...”
He smiled, maliciously. “Mira, yes.”
***
For some reason, I chose to go to school the next week, as if nothing had ever happened. Maybe I hoped that if I didn’t speak of it, and if I acted like nothing had happened, everything would be normal. It didn’t work out that way, though.
That day was nothing short of miserable. Everyone seemed to be glaring at me. It was like they all knew what had happened, but they had all heard the wrong version of the story. Somehow, I had become the bad guy. Brent and I were playing a game of he said, she said, and he was the definite winner.
Not even my best friends were in my side.
***
I walked into the school, feeling miserable. My mood brightened, just in the slightest, when I saw my best friend, though. “Hey, Brendon.” I tried to sound cheery.
And then, my heart sank again as he ignored me. He just kept walking past, not even sparing me a glance. “Brendon?” I whispered, hopelessly. His pace seemed to quicken. I chased after his, trying to get his attention. “Brendon. Brendon? Brendon William Trata, stop!” I caught up to him, finally, and grabbed his shoulder, which forced him to stop.
He jerked around towards me and glared at my hand, but I kept it on his shoulder so he wouldn’t try to walk away again. “What do you want,” he snarled.
“What is your problem, Brendon?”
“Oh, I don’t know, Mira,” he said coldly. His tone, usually so caring, hurt more that both his words and his actions. “Why don’t you ask your new boyfriend, Brent?” He wrenched his shoulder out of my grip and turned to walk away.
“My-my boyfriend? Brendon, I have no clue what you’re talking about. He’s not-,”
He stopped and turned around to face me. The expression on his face, one of absolute and total disgust, made me halt in the middle of my thought. “Oh, come on, Mira, you act like I haven’t got eyes. It’s not like I didn’t see you going upstairs with Brent. Awful hard to miss, weren’t you? You were giggling like a complete idiot. You act like I don’t remember what you said to me.”
“What... what I said?”
“Oh, come on, Mira!” He gave me another disgusted look and mimicked me in a high falsetto. “‘Shut up, Brendon. You’re just jealous because I like Brent more than you. It’s notmy fault that he’s being so nice to me. Why don’t you just get out of my life, if you’re going to be so jealous of every guy who takes interest in me? I don’t even like you!’”
“You... You don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s not what you think...”
“So you’re saying you didn’t go upstairs with Brent?”
“I did, but I was-,”
“What, Mira? You were what, exactly? What’s your excuse this time?”
“...I was... I was drunk...” I said quietly. My gaze fell ashamedly to my feet.
“We tried to get you to stop drinking what he was giving you! Whatever happened to ‘Brent would never give me alcohol. He respects my wishes,’ huh, Mira? We told you! But did you listen? Of course not, you never do! And what’s your excuse for going upstairs – into a bedroom, no less – with him? Were you just itching to get laid? What kind of lie are you going to make up for that one?”
“I wasn’t... he...” I trailed off, unable to come up with the right words.
“Whatever, Mira,” he said disgustedly. At that moment, Ana and Ren walked up. At first, I saw a flicker of sadness in their eyes. But then, it was replaced by disgusted anger. Just like Brendon.
“We all saw you, Mira.” Ren. Her usually playful eyes held such hatred.
I looked up at her, pleading. “But I-,”
“You can’t lie your way out of this.” I don’t think I had ever heard Ana’s voice be so cruel as in that moment.
“But Brent-,” I tried again.
“Whatever, Mira,” Brendon said sadly. His heartbroken tone caught me off guard, and sent a stabbing pain through my heard. I had hurt my Brendon... He shook his head. “It’s over. We don’t want to deal with your drama anymore.” And with a sad look from each of them, they were gone from my life for good.
Subconsciously, I backed up. It was like my mind was trying to escape from the source of my pain, the disappearing silhouettes of my former best friends. With a dull thud, my back pressed against the plaster wall. I slid down it, burying my face into my hands. The words, useless now that nobody could hear them, were muffled by my palms.
“But I was raped...”
***
My life was basically ruined. I told my mom, eventually. She did everything she could to help. But it wasn’t enough. Nothing was enough...
I started to do bad things to myself. Terrible things. Self mutilation. Drugs. Alcohol. My life pedaled downhill, and I just couldn’t catch up with it. My mom tried to stop me. To help me.
But I just couldn’t be helped.
I was getting farther and farther out of control. It was like falling out of a tree, and reaching out to catch a branch, only to find that there wasn’t one there to grab a hold of. I was spiraling faster and faster out of control, falling lower and lower.
But no one bothered to catch me.
***
I sobbed, my razor in one hand, and drew in a sharp breath as I made yet another cut, just between two barely sealed over cuts on the inside of my wrist. I watched warm, red liquid drip down my palm and onto my fingertips, and I felt some of my anguish go with it.
My gaze traveled from my wooden floor to my window. Lightening flashed across the dark blue sky. I felt I could sympathize with the sky, which almost seemed to be crying with me. I knew exactly how it felt – like no one was there for it.
I gave a frustrated cry and made another, deeper cut just above the one I had made seconds before. It seemed all I could do was mess up! I watched blood drip a little faster down my fingers than it had before. With my other hand, I numbly traced the cuts.
Slowly, I stood up and walked to the medicine cabinet. My hands searched though it like they had a mind of their own. They left bloody fingerprints on everything they touched. A bottle of aspirin came into view. I filled a glass of water and swallowed every pill. I was done with this world.
I never told a lie, and that makes me a liar.