Storms
Passion
I am nothing, I think. There’s a tornado of confusion in my head. All thoughts, facts, memories and doubts mix together into a deadly emotion that my soul refuses to control.
“We've had enough!” my subconscious barks at me. It's wind howls screams of pain. The desire for release is too great to stifle any longer. Clouds begin to gather in my eyes as I shut them tightly. I try to blockade the tears and force them back. But the uncomfortable lump in my throat denies my request. The slight drizzle begins to pour rain, flooding my irises and spilling through the barriers of my wrinkled eyelids.
There’s a loud thunder in my ear from heavily pumping blood streaming through my veins, through this body that shakes with fear. The electricity on my fingertips threaten to shock you as I touch your skin. It reminds me of the lucky place I’ve been conveniently placed in. We both know we've waited too long for this. The pain of the past year is openly displayed in your perfect face.
To lose you would be torment. It would spilt my soul apart, creating a wild river of insecurities and a storm that will brew a stealthy poison that aims to destroy my little black heart. And this heart, it beats for you. Once dead and dark, is now alive and aching for your body's warmth. Your love is serene. It calms this ever-growing passion deep in my chest. So long as you're near, I'll never have to worry about this temple losing its bricks. Its strength. Its safety. Its shelter.
As I lay in bed, I take a glance outside. The winter's snow chills and dissipates the suffocating air in my room as I open the window. I stare at the stars and wonder if this storm of passion is just a supernova in my heart. It swells up and threatens to burst at the thought, but then your hand finds a way through the empty space in mine. Perfectly intertwining our fingers in a soft, delicate touch.
"I didn't even hear you come in." I say smiling. You lean forward and gently press your lips onto mine. Even through the 12 degree biting weather, I only feel heat. The soothing kind that reminds me of sipping hot chocolate during a blizzard. Suddenly, my window slammed shut. It's getting bad out there. The snow and wind combined together in a vicious wave. This is what my heart must look like when he's not here. I sighed. He can't stay here.
"You better get back home before it gets worse. I'll be fine here until my parents get back." That beautiful face twisted into a smile that reminded me of sunshine and summer.
"I'm never leaving you alone. Not now. Not ever. So get used to my company." You laughed that sweet intoxicating laugh I loved so much. I wanted to cry. As the storm outside got worse, the storm inside me was vanishing. I didn't feel the need to hide anymore. What's the point in hiding when the one you love more than anything in the world is standing right in front of you? So I did the only rational thing a girl in my situation would do. I grabbed you by your coat collar, and let my love for you soar and penetrate your giving heart.
We broke apart and snuggled together on the couch, your arms wrapped protectively around me under a fleece blanket.
"The storm's wild!" you said. I thought it over for a minute. Before feeling my heart beat again, relishing the feeling of being alive with you. Being in this moment, experiencing love for the first time. Something in my soul knew that you weren't referring to the blizzard outside. I began to wonder if you felt it to. The overpowering surge of exhilaration and adrenaline whenever we were together, and that excruciating pain when we were apart. I smiled at you once I knew what to do. Before I completely surrendered my love, my body, my self, to you.
"You have no idea."
“We've had enough!” my subconscious barks at me. It's wind howls screams of pain. The desire for release is too great to stifle any longer. Clouds begin to gather in my eyes as I shut them tightly. I try to blockade the tears and force them back. But the uncomfortable lump in my throat denies my request. The slight drizzle begins to pour rain, flooding my irises and spilling through the barriers of my wrinkled eyelids.
There’s a loud thunder in my ear from heavily pumping blood streaming through my veins, through this body that shakes with fear. The electricity on my fingertips threaten to shock you as I touch your skin. It reminds me of the lucky place I’ve been conveniently placed in. We both know we've waited too long for this. The pain of the past year is openly displayed in your perfect face.
To lose you would be torment. It would spilt my soul apart, creating a wild river of insecurities and a storm that will brew a stealthy poison that aims to destroy my little black heart. And this heart, it beats for you. Once dead and dark, is now alive and aching for your body's warmth. Your love is serene. It calms this ever-growing passion deep in my chest. So long as you're near, I'll never have to worry about this temple losing its bricks. Its strength. Its safety. Its shelter.
As I lay in bed, I take a glance outside. The winter's snow chills and dissipates the suffocating air in my room as I open the window. I stare at the stars and wonder if this storm of passion is just a supernova in my heart. It swells up and threatens to burst at the thought, but then your hand finds a way through the empty space in mine. Perfectly intertwining our fingers in a soft, delicate touch.
"I didn't even hear you come in." I say smiling. You lean forward and gently press your lips onto mine. Even through the 12 degree biting weather, I only feel heat. The soothing kind that reminds me of sipping hot chocolate during a blizzard. Suddenly, my window slammed shut. It's getting bad out there. The snow and wind combined together in a vicious wave. This is what my heart must look like when he's not here. I sighed. He can't stay here.
"You better get back home before it gets worse. I'll be fine here until my parents get back." That beautiful face twisted into a smile that reminded me of sunshine and summer.
"I'm never leaving you alone. Not now. Not ever. So get used to my company." You laughed that sweet intoxicating laugh I loved so much. I wanted to cry. As the storm outside got worse, the storm inside me was vanishing. I didn't feel the need to hide anymore. What's the point in hiding when the one you love more than anything in the world is standing right in front of you? So I did the only rational thing a girl in my situation would do. I grabbed you by your coat collar, and let my love for you soar and penetrate your giving heart.
We broke apart and snuggled together on the couch, your arms wrapped protectively around me under a fleece blanket.
"The storm's wild!" you said. I thought it over for a minute. Before feeling my heart beat again, relishing the feeling of being alive with you. Being in this moment, experiencing love for the first time. Something in my soul knew that you weren't referring to the blizzard outside. I began to wonder if you felt it to. The overpowering surge of exhilaration and adrenaline whenever we were together, and that excruciating pain when we were apart. I smiled at you once I knew what to do. Before I completely surrendered my love, my body, my self, to you.
"You have no idea."
♠ ♠ ♠
No idea where this came from.