Forgive and Forget: A Billie Joe Story

I've been dreading this day for the last two years.

It's my sixteenth birthday, also known as the day I have to decide if I want to see my biological father again. To be honest, I've been thinking about me answer to that question for the last month. I know that as soon as I walk downstairs and sit as the dining table, my foster parents, Linda and Robbie, will remind me of the decision I have to make today. Part of my wants to say yes, but, at the same time, I want to say no. He's my father, I want to see him again and talk and catch up.

But what if he hasn't changed? What if he hurts me again as soon as I move back in? I'm older now, though. I'm stronger and smarter, so I'd be able to stop him... right? Of course Linda and Robbie would help me make the right decision, because they know how life changing my answer could be. Life changing for both Billie and me. They'd help me figure out what's be best for me, because they're awesome like that.

Linda is thirty one years old, but she acts my age when I need her help. She acts older wen I need a mother. Robbie is thirty four years old, and he is the real father I wish I had. He is so caring, but he can be so protective. He's really strong and has major muscles, while Linda is really small and fragile. They couldn't have children, and a week after my therapist, Susan, decided I should leave my Billie's home, she called them and told them about me.

They wanted a kid with really bad issues so they could help someone. Apparently, Susan knew I had problems that even I never knew about. Anorexia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, paranoia, depression, panic disorder, just to name a few.

Linda sat with me in my room every night for three months while I cried my eyes out because of nightmares I had. I later found out that my subconscious was replaying memories of my father hurting me. Some of the dreams were actually based on what would happen if I decided to see him again. Most of the time, it didn't turn out good. No matter what, Billie always ended hurting me somehow.

In some dreams, he actually killed me.

Things are different now, though. I have a lot of friends, a boyfriend, good grades, more than I possibly ever wanted. If I didn't have such a dark past, then I wouldn't want anything else.

The last two years have definitely been rough, but it's all been leading up to this day.

This life changing, possibly heartbreaking, day.