Forgive and Forget: A Billie Joe Story

Nothing else happens for a while after that. I can't even guess how long Robbie just stares at me, obviously shocked that his wife has died. Tysen stands after a long while and walks out, but I know he doesn't leave. Robbie slowly walks upstairs and I hear his bedroom door shut with a soft click. I look over at the answering machine and see dashes show up where the number of messages should be. He's calling either Linda's parents or a funeral home.

"I'm so sorry, Ellie," Billie murmurs. I take a deep and shaky breath.

"It's all right," I whisper, looking up at him. "I'm used to losing my mother." He shuts his eyes and turns his head as if he were looking down. Tysen walks back in and leans against the wall by the front door as Billie takes a seat at the other end of the couch.

"What's gonna happen," Tysen asks. I shrug, feeling defeated.

"I'll stay here until after the funeral, then I'll move back in with Billie-"

"Wait, what," Ty exclaims, looking stunned. "When was this decided?!"

"Earlier today," I mumble, looking down. He walks over and kneels down in front of me, tilting my head up so I'm looking straight at him.

"Are you sure that's what you want to do?" I nod. He swallows and breathes, making me smell smoke.

"Have you started smoking," I ask in disbelief. His eyes turn slightly wider and kind of freaked out. Billie stands and starts walking up the stairs.

"I'm gonna check on Robbie," he mutters, disappearing into the room. Tysen looks back at me. He hasn't answered my question yet, which means only one thing.

"How long," I demand. He stares at me, but still doesn't reply. I knock his hand away from me. "Dammit, Tysen, how long?!"

"A week, maybe two," he says, his voice shaking. I feel tears prick my eyes as I look out the side window. I feel him stand up and sit next to me, blocking my view. I look the other way. "Ellie, look at me."

"No, you never told me, you always said you would never do it-"

"Because I've never been so stressed out," he yells, standing.

"Why are you stressed out?! Because of me?!"

"Yes! You started getting so upset because of everything that happened and you were so scared it could happen again but you were so determined to see that sick fucker again!" I stare at him as he calms down.

"And you thought smoking would help," I ask quietly. He sits back down and puts his head in his hands.

"Yes. I thought it would take the stress away." I look down for a second as he looks back up.

"Please stop," I say, feeling his intense stare on my face. "Before it gets worse." He stays silent for a few seconds before standing up and walks to the front door. He stops to turn to me.

"I'll be back for my stuff tomorrow," he tells me before walking out of the house. I fall back and feel tears start to streak my cheeks. I eventually fall asleep as a huddled up little ball.

***9:58 AM, Next Day***

I wake up in the same position as I fell asleep in. I stretch out so I can see who's sitting at the dining table. It's Billie. He's staring down at his coffee, looking deep-in-thought. I stand up and walk over. He looks up and smiles a little.

"How'd you sleep," he asks softly. I cross my arms over my chest.

"Terribly," I say. "After everything that happened with Linda, and then my argument with Tysen-"

"I heard everything," Billie interrupts, looking back down at his mug.

"Oh." I can't think of anything else.

"If you were that scared, why would you say yes to see me again," he asks sincerely, returning my stare. "I would've understood."

"I just..." I run my hands through my hair. "I don't know."