Forgive and Forget: A Billie Joe Story

Billie sighs as he takes a sip of his coffee. I walk into the kitchen and pour myself a bowl of dry Froot Loops, then sit at the table next to Billie.

"How's Robbie holding up," I ask before eating a spoonful of cereal.

"Not too well," he says quietly. "He's not crying, but something's not right with him."

"Well, obviously," I swallow more. "The love of his life died."

"Maybe you should go talk to him." I eat the rest of my breakfast before looking up at Billie.

"What's it gonna help?" He watches me as I get up and wash the bowl. Holding myself up by the counter, I stare down. "What can me talking to him alone in his room help when he'll be able to literally see my fear and nervousness?" Billie stands and walks over, putting his mug in the sink. He stands so he's looking directly at me.

"Whether you're afraid of him or not, it will mean a lot to him if you go up and talk to him." I sigh and roll my eyes.

"Whatever." I start walking toward the stairs, but Billie's voice stops me.

"Why are you so against being around Robbie? After what happened-"

"It'll hurt him even more if he knows I'm struggling to stay calm around him," I murmur. I walk up the stairs and softly knock on Robbie's door.

"Yeah," he answers.

"Can I come in," I ask, hearing footsteps coming toward the door. It opens to reveal a bloodshot eyed Robbie. He pulls it open wider so I walk in. He shuts the door and sits on his bed.

"Let me guess," he says after coughing. "Billie sent you up here." I nod and sit next to him.

"Yeah," I murmur.

"You didn't want to."

"No. I didn't."

"Because you didn't want to hurt me more by being around me even though you're scared." I look in his direction, but still can't look directly at him.

"Did you hear my conversation with Billie?" He chuckles, but I can tell there's no humour.

"No," he says. "I know you too well, Ellie." I smile and look down, but Robbie tilts my head back up and forces me to look straight at him. "I'm not as upset as you think I am. Yeah, I loved her, but we barely saw each other anymore. The feelings started to change."

"I don't want you to go into some depression because of this." He smiles kindly.

"I'm not, El. That might happen when you move back in with Billie." My small smile fades as I think about something.

"Do you want me to move back in with Billie?" He thinks it over for a moment.

"Honestly?" I nod. "No. Not at all."

"Why," I ask, genuinely curious.

"I'm scared for you. If something happened, I'd feel so guilty because I let you go so easily."

"You're not losing me."

"I didn't intend to." I stare at him for a few seconds before he let his hand drop. "When is Tysen coming back over for his stuff?" I relax a bit.

"I dunno. Sometime today." We sit in silence for probably a minute or two before Robbie stands up.

"Let's go back downstairs and wait for him. I'm sure you wanna patch things up so everything can be as normal and stress-free as possible when you move back into Billie's house."

"Actually," I say. "I don't know of I wanna work everything out with Ty. Lately he's been so... rebellious against everything. Even himself." Robbie nods and I stand. We walk downstairs to see Billie sitting on the sofa watching TV.

"Anything good on," Robbie asks as he sits next to him. Billie looks at him almost cautiously.

"Not really. Just overplayed movies," Billie replies. Robbie looks at the set, but then the doorbell rings. I walk over and open it. Tysen is standing there with his hands in his pockets.

"Can I come in," he asks. "I think we need to talk." I nod and let him in. He nods to Robbie and Billie, then turns back to me. "Can we talk in your room?" I nod again and lead him upstairs and walk in my room. I sit in the center of the bed as he closes the door.

"I feel really bad about yesterday," he starts as he sits on the edge, looking at me. "I shouldn't have walked out on you like that, I know you just worry about me a lot. I really do love you more than anything else in the world." I stare at him for a few seconds before his expression turns pleading. "I'll stop smoking if it means we can just go back to the way we were before Billie came back around." I look down and he moves closer to me. "Please, Ellie, say something so I know I didn't hurt you too much." I clear my throat.

"You did hurt me, Tysen," I murmur. "More than I thought you ever would."

"And I'm so sorry for that! I will do anything to take it back, I really will." I look up at him.

"Tysen..."