Forgive and Forget: A Billie Joe Story

It takes an hour for me to run out of tears. I lean back and look up at Robbie, who is watching me closely.

"You done," he asks softly, gently rubbing my back. I nod, wiping any makeup from my face. One more small tear falls from my eye and drifts down my cheek. Robbie takes his free hand and wipes it away, but keeps his hand on my jaw. "Do you feel any better now? Honestly?" I shake my head a little, silently sighing. Someone knocks on my door.

"You guys all right," Tysen asks.

"Yeah, we're fine," Robbie answers. Tysen walks back downstairs and Robbie looks at me again. "I hate seeing you cry, El."

"Then why'd you offer to sit here with me," I whisper. His thumb moves back and forth slowly across my skin.

"I would feel terrible if I knew you were crying and didn't bother to help you." I take a shaky deep breath. "By the way, you have an appointment with Susan today." I look at him.

"With Billie?" He nods. "When?" He looks at my digital clock on my nightstand.

"Fifteen minutes, so we should leave now." I slide off of his lap so he can stand up and I get up next to him. We walk downstairs and see Billie on the couch with his head in his hands. "Billie," Robbie says, getting his attention. Billie looks up and sees my puffy red eyes.

"Oh my, God, Ellie, I'm sorry-" Robbie cuts him off.

"Let's just go see Susan." Billie stands and Tysen walks in from the kitchen.

"I'm going, too, right," he asks. Robbie nods again and we all go out to the car. "You can't drive, Rob."

"Why not," he asks, sounding annoyed.

"You just got out of the hospital yesterday. I'll drive there." Robbie gives Ty the keys and sits in the back with me. Billie sits in the front in the passenger seat.

Nothing is said the entire way there. Billie keeps looking at me from the rearview mirror so I just keep my head down the whole time. Robbie keeps his arm around me, stroking my arm to calm my nerves. We get there in around ten minutes and we all walk in. Susan is sitting in the waiting room. She smiles.

"Nice to see you two together again," she says. "Come on back with me." She stands and goes back to the talking room while Robbie and Tysen wait in the room. I sit in the chair farthest from the door while Billie sits in the one next to mine. Susan sits at her desk as usual.

"So how have things been going," she inquires. "I haven't talked to either of you in around two weeks." She turns to me. "I'm really sorry about Linda, Ellie."

"It's fine," I murmur quietly. She opens the manila folder.

"So what's happened on the last few days. All I know is that Robbie was in the hospital and something happened between you two." I swallow and look down. Billie clears his throat.

"I pinned her against the wall," he whispers just loud enough for us to hear.

"Why?"

"We were all alone."

"You were tempted again," I whisper. I feel their eyes on me.

"Is that true, Billie," Susan asks. "Were you tempted again?"

"Yeah," he admits shakily.

"Do you want to hurt Ellie again?" My head snaps up to look at Billie. He avoids my stare.

"W-what do you m-mean?" Nervous fucker...

"Do you want to rape Ellie again like you used to," Susan asks slowly. Billie stays silent for quite a while. I stare at him the entire time. Finally he looks straight into my eyes.

"Of course I do."