New to New York

“You smell so good,” Jason said tickling her shoulder.

Willow laughed and turned over to him. “That’s kinda strange you know? Why are you sniffing me anyway?”

“Can’t help myself when there’s an amazing girl in my bed. You know the feeling.”

“Actually I wouldn’t,” she said drifting.

“What do I smell like?” he asked lifting her hair and shifting it through his fingers. He sounded like he was drifting too and he pulled her closer to him.

“I’m not going to smell you Jason,” she said opening one eye. “What’s this new fixation anyway?”

“Over heard Jake and Addi,” he said through a yawn, “in the kitchen getting cozy. Did you know Jake smells like coconut?”

“I did not know that.”

“Well, now you do. Tell a friend. What do I smell like though?” he whined lifting his arm up and sort of rolling on top of her. He always got like this when he was sleep deprived. He’d been working the last two nights and he never slept well afterwards. He’d get up regularly, which had bothered Willow in the beginning, but now she learned to stay up with him and coax him back to bed.

She let out a heavy, dramatic sigh and rolled her eyes even though he probably couldn’t see. She did a quick sniff and reported, “Like smoke and peppermint and…just you. Happy now?”

“Very, thank you babe.” He pressed his cheek against hers and she could feel him smiling.

“You’re so odd.” But she loved how easy it was to please him.

&&&&&

“Will!” Quin yelled over the drum solo, “Left side needs four beers!”

Ah, it was the regular Thursday night crew. Drunk coworkers mingling for happy hour and first daters, a few record label reps and college kids. Willow had grown used to the familiar chaos and it was almost second nature dealing with all the different personalities.

“Got it!” she yelled back and moved down to the waiting group. A chill ran up her spine when she saw scar face, then another when she saw the guy from the club all those nights ago.
She repeated the fact that they couldn’t do whatever they came to do, they were in her job and she made the rules here. All this ran through her head like a mantra.

“What can I get you?” Will said to the group; other than the previously mentioned there was a tall blonde with holey fishnets looking like the fashion edition of a 25cent hooker-a nickel for blow jobs. There was also a girl with dark brown streaked purple hair looking like a Goth model. “Cosmos?” she asked sarcasticly.

The girls glared and the guys hid smiles. “No,” the blonde said in a Russian accent so thick Will could barely understand her. “Two white Russians.”

“Coming up. And the rest of you?”

“Nothing for us,” Scarface said while the rest shook their heads. Willow fixed the two drinks and sent them away with the usual flourish of spinning bottles. They picked a table with a direct view of the bar and where Will was stationed. Working under the stare of both those guys made her skin crawl and stomach flip.

She thought about texting Jason, telling him about the creepy feelings these guys were giving her, but he had a fight tonight which meant Addi would be gone too. Jimmy was spending time with a girl he’d met recently; she didn’t know where Jake was; and Heather wasn’t scheduled for another two nights. Anabelle was back on again with Harry and when they were together she spent less time with the gang because of the way Harry and everybody else didn’t get along.

“Will! Got a problem?” Quin was a tough boss on the clock but after everyone left she was pretty normal. No one but Heather took her hard ass mentality personally; this place was her baby and she wanted it to succeed.

“Nope,” she replied filling more orders. She would just have to push their presence out of her mind till closing.

&&&&&

Across town Addi had a bad feeling running up her spine and seeping in to her gut. She hadn’t been able to reach Jake for the last two hours and she was starting to worry. He wasn’t the cheating type, that she knew, but he wasn’t the type to just disappear off the face of the Earth either; even if they had just had a huge fight.

“Look, all I’m saying is that if you don’t think I should be going then how do you believe you should?” This was the thing most of their fights were about; she wanted to protect him and he couldn’t understand why he couldn’t protect her too.

“Because Jake, it’s my job. It’s not some club I can just choose to not go to. These people want me there so unless I feel the need to be stupid and reckless I show up and give them what they want.”

“We’ll get you a new a job, Addi. You don’t have to be afraid of those people.” He had tried to pull her close but she’d wormed her way away.

“I’m not afraid of anyone.” She said through gritted teeth. “And I’m not a damsel in distress. I do what I do because if I don’t they’ll just find some other girl who will. And you know what? I’m perfect for this job. I was able to keep everyone totally in the dark for how many months?? How many years in fact?

“I do not need to be saved Jake. I’m not drowning,” they were in the tiny bathroom and she’d been looking at him the mirror as she got ready.

“I never said you needed saving Addi. Why won’t you let me the fuck in?” He always got mad around this point which just made Addi angrier in turn.

“Look around Jake! You are in! I’m sorry, but I guess I’m not as deep as you!” She threw down her the lip gloss she’d been holding for the last five minutes, unopened. It made a hollow clanking sound in the porcelain sink. “Whatever, Jake. I have to go.”

And if he hadn’t said what he said next the fight might not have happened at all. She could have called an hour later after she’d cooled down and they would have made up by the time she got back.

But he said what he said so none of that happened.

She pushed past him as he said, “You know I love you and you still treat me like a stranger.”

Suddenly the room had no air. Time was frozen. She could almost count the dust motes floating in the air. “What did you just say?” her voice carried no volume at all. If they were a cartoon the words would have cob webs drawn on them.

“I said I love you. I love you even though you try your hardest to push me out.”

“No. No you don’t love me.”

“Yes, I do.”

“No. You love the idea of me. You do not love me.”

“That’s not true. I love Maddison Avery, this crazy redhead with a more secrets than the chamber of secrets and who has unbelievably canny sense to know just how to touch me.”

She’d started backing up and shaking her head. “No, no, no, no. You can’t love me Jake. That’s- that s- that’s not a good idea.” With each step her voice rose an octave.

“And why not?!” he matched each step with his own. “I can love whoever I want!”

“You don’t understand! You can’t love someone like me! I’m not lovable. You’re right, I don’t let you or anyone else in so how could you???”

“I don’t know, but I do. You ‘re beautiful, and intelligent, and sexy, and funny. You’re the realest person I’ve ever known -”

“NO! You do NOT love me! I don’t love you, you don’t love me. We were just trying something new! This is not what I wanted, Jake. This was not what I had in mind when I slept with you. You and I just needed each other like a child needs a blanket.”

Each sentence stabbed him and she could see it plain on his face like the periods were spears tipped with acid. “Addi, don’t say that…”

“Why not? It’s true.” She needed out of there before she fell to floor. Those words weren’t true but they weren’t a lie either.

“Addi…” he reached a hand out to her. He looked so beautiful in that moment that her heart melted. His eyes had the kind of shine eyes only got when people heard bad news; his skin smooth and dark and framed by the orange glow of the setting sun from the window. He looked like what the hero always did in romance novels.

She wouldn’t let herself be the ruin of him so when she said this next word it was more to her than him.

“No.” she opened the door and slammed it shut.

That was four hours ago. She had tried calling him twice to either apologize or tell him she’d be back for her the few things she had at his place, she didn’t know which. But both times she’d gotten his voicemail.

“You okay?” Jason asked coming up behind her. The fight was over already, a result to putting a lightweight against a heavy hitter like the mighty Hatter.

“Um, yeah.” She shut her phone and turned to face him all shirtless and inked up. “Just can’t reach Jake.”

“I’m sure he’s fine,” he said lifting his arm so she could clean a bad gash the guy had got in before he went down. “Probably forgot to charge his phone.”

She nodded her head even though she knew that wasn’t true. She’d seen it on the charger before she’d left that evening. The icy feeling seemed to spread to her heart. Something was wrong.

&&&&&

“Night, Kale.” Will said closing the front door to the bar.

“Night, little sister; see ya tomorrow.”

"She smiled over her shoulder and walked the opposite way. The streets were pretty empty, just the way she liked, and since it had been rainy earlier she had her big red umbrella with her that she swung about as she walked. It was clear out and the moon hung low and bloated in the dark night.

She walked around a bit and was just turning a corner when Scar face came out of a shadowy alley way, being only illuminated by the cherry on the end of his cigarette. “Hey there, Low.” He said using Jason’s nickname.

Will’s skin crawled and icy filled her gut. She decided that playing stupid would be the best way to go about this so she said, “Do I know you?”

He walked a little closer, “We haven’t been formally introduced but I know you. And I’m willing to bet you know a little about me too.”

“Sorry sir. You must have me mistaken with someone else,” she backed away again this time towards a better lit area. If she had to she could make a run for it, but her balance wasn’t the best in the shoes she was wearing. Screaming was always an option too.

“No, I’m positive you’re who I’m looking for,” he pulled out his cell phone to display a picture of her and Jason kissing at an outdoor café. “You know him right?” The question wasn’t one that needed an answer, he could tell be the look on her face. “Nice looking guy huh?”

An anger flared so fierce and vivid that she could barely control not walking up to him. “Where is he?” she asked barely moving her lips.

“He’s fine. But I thought I should show you this one too.” He took the phone back and when he held it up again it was of Jason…and the tall blonde from the bar. He was standing in what looked like a marked off area with his shirt off and fresh scrapes mapping a fight over his chest and face. She had her arms around his neck and a leg popped up like in romantic comedies.

“That’s Natasha. She was with us earlier tonight if you remember.” He pulled the phone back again and despite herself, Will felt her eyes tear up.

“Why are you here?” she asked him trying not to cry. It was hard to talk through the lump in her throat but she managed. It felt like the world was melting before her eyes.

“I need you,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Well too damn bad,” Will said as her anger replaced all the sadness. “There’s no reason for me to help you.”

Scar face flipped out his lighter and lit another smoke. “I wasn’t really asking, sweetheart. I’m willing to use force if need be.”

Willow’s traitor heart and mind were in full sync at that moment. No matter how Jason had hurt her, made her look stupid, lied to her and flat out made her wrong, she still felt the safest with him. Staring down scar face in the dark, smoky alley way all alone made her want him more than she had ever wanted anything else.