Holding On

"I don't want to talk about it," Joseph said harshly as the previews began to show on screen.

"Of course you don't want to talk about, I understand that. But it's not about whether or not you want to talk about it. You need to talk about it," Shawn pressed.

"Shut up and watch the movie," Joe hissed.

"It's not on yet, smartass," Shawn shot back.

"Well then just shut up," Joe said and grabbed a fistful of popcorn.

"Fine," Shawn grumbled, getting up, "Kill yourself. I won't miss you."

Joe squinted into the darkness and watched as she stomped out of the theater. For a second he worried that she wouldn't know how to get home on foot, but then he remembered that he wasn't supposed to care. For some reason the words she hissed in his ear were still echoing in his mind. Kill yourself. I won't miss you. That wasn't what Joe wanted. He didn't want to die. That wasn't why he cut. Shawn was wrong, at least, that's what Joe kept telling himself.

Shawn, meanwhile, had found her way and was just passing by the Jonases' house when a friendly voice called out to her. It was Nicholas, with warm smile on his face. Obviously, he wanted to know where his brother was. Shawn told the younger Jonas that his brother was still at the movies. She told him they had a fight but she didn't tell him what the fight was about. It wasn't her place to tell Joe's secret so instead she told Nick that Joe had inexplicably acted like an asshole.

"He's been like that lately," Nick shook his head, "He just went through a nasty break up."

"Whatever," Shawn shrugged, "I just didn't feel like dealing with it."

"You could come in and watch a movie with me and Kevin," Nick suggested, feeling bad about his brother's behavior.

Shawn smiled, "Okay."

Kevin wasn't home. He'd left a few minutes before to spend some time with his fiancé and apparently Nick hadn't noticed. It was only Shawn and Nick in front of the television, eyes glued to the movie that they'd figured out they shared as a favorite. Shawn had grabbed Juno when she saw it on the shelf and Nick was only too happy to put it in the DVD player. And when the movie was about halfway through, Nick did something daring. It was unusual for him to be so outgoing but he did it anyway. He yawned and reached his arm around Shawn's shoulder. She shrugged it off and pressed pause.

"Why do guys always rush things? They see you and immediately want you," Shawn mused.

"Well you're a very attractive individual," Nick said nervously, "I'm hardly surprised."

"And you're not too bad yourself," Shawn replied, "I'm just not looking for a relationship right now."

"Will you be looking for a relationship any time in the near future?" Nick asked hopefully.

Shawn laughed, "I don't think so. But I could always use a friend."

"A friend?" Nick repeated.

"Yup," Shawn nodded.

"Okay," Nick agreed, "Now I don't have to awkwardly break up with you when I decide I don't like you anymore."

"Nicholas!" Shawn gasped, hitting his chest playfully.

"Kidding! Kidding!" Nick threw his hands up in defense, "I'm not going to stop liking you anytime soon. I've decided to promote you to Best Friend status, actually."

"And what have I done to deserve this wonderful promotion?" Shawn giggled.

"Your favorite movie the same as mine," Nick shrugged, "And you ditched Joe for me, which is pretty cool in my book. And your hair is red. And you're going shopping with me tomorrow."

"Juno is awesome," Shawn conceded, "But I ditched Joe for my house, you just happened to pop up along the way. And I have no control over the fact that my hair is red. And who said anything about shopping?"

"Um, I did?" Nick said, like it explained everything, "We'll go after you get out of school. I need new shoes."

The front door opened then and Joe just stood there for a moment. He glanced at his brother and Shawn sitting on the floor with their backs pressed up against the couch and almost felt jealous. He'd lost most of his friends when he started sulking after the break up with Camilla. Shawn and Nick seemed to be having a grand old time. He wanted that. He wanted a friend. He wasn't going to admit that to anyone because they'd probably just laugh. Joe Jonas, famous musician, can't find a friend? Hilarious.

"Keep it down. I'm going to bed," Joseph barked and then trudged up the stairs.