I have brothers

*Belinda’s POV*

Not really sure how long it’s been, but really, I’m over it. I mean, I’m happy for Ray and think that she’s a very lucky woman to have him and yes, I gave my congratulations to Ray and best wishes to Krista. You would catch my very subtle joke if you were a Gilmore Girl’s fan, but sadly my life wasn’t exactly like the happy-go-lucky TV show.

In my show I wouldn’t of been harassed by my friend’s brothers, I would have been teased by them or something G rated. In my TV show I wouldn’t be the one that is around everyone happy and everyone cheery and wearing a façade of smiles and keeping everything bottled up until the point of wanting to fall into a bottomless pit and never want to come back up again. In my TV show I wouldn’t be like I am today. I want to be the happy, cheery, fun person to be around, but that’s just in my TV Show. In my Reality TV show I’m like this, afraid to be who I am, not able to open myself up to people around me, people who declare they love me, afraid to love. To love my own brothers, afraid to give them a hug and depend on them that they would have their arms wide open for me to run to, to have the strength to confide in them wether I broke the backyard window playing baseball or be able to tell them I just got raped.

“Congratulations!” Brian’s voice came bursting out of the phone speaker. They all huddled around the machine and started to have a jolly good conversation with him. I’m not sure about you, but have you ever felt like you don’t fit in? Like if you see Billie Joe Armstrong, rock god, being surrounded by 50 Cent, P Diddy, Sean Kingston and Kane West. It’s not the right picture. Well that’s how I feel, Sir Armstrong in a swarm of Gangsters and Pimps or whatever they may call themselves these days. I know I’m being self centred but I miss the orphanage, the old orphanage where I had my best friend… who knew everything about me, my flaws, my faults, my hopes, my dreams and he had and still has my love. But he doesn’t know everything about me anymore.

“Boys! We’ve got a full schedule ahead! The tours almost around the corner and we’ve got practice and interviews and photo shoots!” The room was a buzz, all excited about the photo shoots and the whole shenanigan.

I got up out of my chair, feeling somewhat better that my hair was dry, not feeling better that nearly every bit of my body was in pain in walked myself over to the staircase lifting my first foot as if I was the first man on the moon, slow motion action. I stepped again and felt someone grab onto my arm.

I put the paper in her room and went to go out when George grabbed me.

“Deja flipping vu. Honestly can you piss off?” I said freeing myself from his grip.

“You know I can’t, your irresistible.” He said grabbing me again.

“Get lost, Poof.” He hit me across the face nearly sending me to the floor, he dragged me into his room and threw me on the bed.

“Now your going to do this, and your going to enjoy it, and if you don’t your going to make ME enjoy it. Got it?”

I pulled back in alarm, yanking my hand away. I turned and didn’t even look at who was behind me but ran up the stairs as fast as my legs could carry me, bursting through my bedroom doors pushing a chair in front of the door and running to sit in the small space between my bed and the wall.

I saw light come into my room, holding my breath as if the person who came in was trying to kill me. I’m an idiot cause I knew it wasn’t George or Dion, but something now told me never to let your guard down. The chair was scrapped across the floor and then footsteps were heard. The door shut slowly now making a noise when it contacted the frame. The footsteps were walking around trying to find something, that something was me. I took a deep breath not being able to hold it in anymore and could hear the foot steps getting closer to me. Bob was standing at the end of my bed looking down upon me, he pushed the bed to the side and sat down next to me slowly, I moved over in order to get away but he held my arm.

“What happened? He spoke soft.

“Nothing.”

“For about 2 weeks, you’ve been acting weird, your as thin as a stick and your sad. Always sad.”

“You been watching me or something?” Dickhead party of one. Me.

“About 20 minutes ago you were about to say something to me. You were about to tell me what’s wrong.”

“That was then, this is now.” I sound like a 5 year old.

“Then was 20 minutes ago. Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not lying.”

“Then don’t say nothing’s wrong when there is.” And gold medal for owning my ass goes to Mr. Bob Bryar.

“But nothing is wrong! I’m perfectly fine!”

“Your not perfectly fine.”

“How do you know what I am and what I’m not?”

“I’m trying to help you!”

“I don’t need help!”

“Belinda! You push everyone out of your life! Don’t you think that maybe if you let someone in you might have a better life? One in which you could smile once in a while or maybe even be able to show emotions to your own family!”

“I know I’m a screw up and that I’ve made everything a mess but I’m perfectly frikken fine!”

“No your not. I know - -”

“You know what? Huh? You know nothing.” My voice came to a subtle whisper towards the end of my sentence, I mean what would he know?

“I hear Anorexia is back in fashion.” He was staring at me, I could feel his gaze.

“Wh - What do you mean.”

“Going to the bathroom after every meal, hardly eating, losing sleep and your size 2 jeans falling off.”

“I - I.” He looked at me with sympathy as if to say, yeah I just burst your bubble, poor miserable you, now I shall soften my gaze and won’t yell but be ‘understanding’ and let you ease into the fact I know your secret you’ve been desperately trying to hide, trying to fight.

“I do have sisters, and I’ve seen all the magazines in your room and bag, all opened to specific pages.”

“Never knew quiet, shy Bob would ever come out with such a bang.” I feel like a moron.

“You haven’t told anyone have you?”

“No I don’t exactly like to flaunt I’m shrinking down to skin and bone.”

“Gerard and Mikey need to know.”

“Way to ease me into it.”

“I’m not trying to ease, I’m giving support. Support you haven’t gotten yet I don’t think.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem… Your still Telling your brothers.”

“I don’t want to - -”

“Okay let me rephrase. Your don’t need to tell your brothers. You HAVE to tell your brothers.”

*Gerard’s POV*

Lyn-Z was talking to me, but to tell the truth I wasn’t really listening, my body was making actions but it went straight through one ear and out the other. Belinda was sitting close to Bob he leaned down to her and she was about to tell him something.

“Krista, will you marry me?” Ray announced. I was shocked, I was talking to him about a week ago and he said he wanted to wait until the end of the tour I guess I was wrong. I went up to him and gave him a hug, one that I would give to Mikey, brother hug. As gay as that sounds.

“Congrats! My little one is growing up!” I squished his cheeks when the phone began to ring, I picked it up and heard it was Brian so I put him on speaker.

“Congratulations!” Brian’s voice came bursting out of the phone speaker. We all huddled around the machine and started to talk with him starting from the wedding to shop talk. “Boys! We’ve got a full schedule ahead! The tours almost around the corner and we’ve got practice and interviews and photo shoots!”

I actually really missed going on tours, I mean I would share the bunk with Mikey and we would all stay up until 2 am and then we would crash until the afternoon. Meeting the fans and dong the shows, except this time I have Belinda to worry about, Belinda to take care of. Not that I’m doing that now. I looked over my shoulder and saw Belinda run up the stairs and Bob follow.

“I’m getting married!” Ray came grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me up a little bit. He let go and then went to go jump up and down with Frank, he was always up for jumping. I went upstairs to go see what was up with Belinda but just as I went to her room I heard my cell phone ring. I walked into my room picking it up.

“Hello.”
“Mr. Gerard way?”
“This is he.”
“We have some news to report for your family.”

When I heard those few words hit my ears, I never knew how close I was to becoming an orphan.