Get off Her Roof Fat Man!

“No way dude… No way!” Colton shouted as he took another hit of the almost burned away joint. Shane patted his best friends back hesitantly as he gave a forced smile.

“Colt… I’m not kidding.” He stopped quickly to regain balance. “I have not fucked her yet.” He then gave Colton a smirk followed by a grunt.

Shane slapped the back of Colt’s head. “Dude… What was that for!” He yelled as he dropped the joint consisting of at least 5 hits.

Shane started laughing uncontrollably. “I’m sorry dude. I’m sorry.” They both stopped and looked at each other.

“It’s okay man, its fine, I mean… Yeah its fine.” Shane embraced his pal in a forceful bear hug.

“Dude. You know, well I hope you know, that you’re my best friend ever. I really mean it!” He began crying mildly.

“I know dude, I know! You’re my best friend too!” Colt said.

“Is… Is that a moose?” Shane pushed cotton off of him and glared at him.

“WHAT MOOSE! Dude we were having a beautiful moment and you just go and ruin it with your highness! Give me your keys… You can’t drive.”

“No… Dude. Seriously there’s a moose on your girl friends house.”

Shane stood there for a moment looking at Colton with an unsure smile, before looking at the house. “Holly.” He whispered.

Then, a fat red figure emerged from behind one of the moose. “HO HO HO.” What was believed to be a man hollered.

“MAN WHAT YOU CALL ME!” Colton screamed. The man froze, and disappeared.

“Colt… Colt… What the fuck just happened.” Shane said in a slur tone of voice as he started pacing toward Holly’s house.

“Dude I’m not really sure, but that guy might be going to kill Holly’s family, rape her, then kill her, then he would probably continue to rape her dead body… Cause I wouldn’t do that as me. But if I was a murder person.”

He gave Shane a wink as they arrived in the front of her house. They stood in front of her house, in deep thought.

“Don’t you have a key or something, I mean you two are dating.” Colt said, “Dude naaah. Her parents like me and all, but they said shit like, She’s only 16 her virginity is everything.”

“Well.” Colt says as he runs over to the side of the two-story house. He looked around and saw a wooden ladder, leaning on the shed.

Colt ran over and retrieved the ladder. He put it on the side of the house, and pointed to it.

“Here you go bro.” “NO! Dude what are you thinking!” Shane whispered. Colton shrugged as he said, “Well, it isn’t my girl friend being raped now, is it.”

Shane pushed Colton as he started up the ladder, Colt following behind. When the two screwed up kids got on the roof, they couldn’t believe their eyes.

In front of Shane and Colton were eight reindeer, in fleeced red harness. Every inch or so a golden bell would lay and have a gentle ring.

It was all attached to a giant perfectly red slay. Its color was so bright, it was almost glowing. In the slay was an enormous velvet bag, full to capacity.

“Dude… Santa Clews isn’t supposed to be real.” Shane says as he takes a step forward. “No dude… this is Saint Nicholas.” Colt said.

“Well whatever.” Shane whispered as he approached the first reindeer he laid eyes on.

It was the perfect buck Shane or Colton had ever seen. His antlers were perfectly identical. His shiny brown coat of fur was perfectly groomed to anyone’s expectations.

“Colton… I have an idea.” Shane said as he put his shivering hand on Colts shoulder. “What?”

“We can steel a reindeer, I’ll give it to Holly, I’ll get laid, and everyone’s happy” Shane implies in a cheery tone of voice.

“Dude screw that! I want a reindeer for myself.” Colt says as he pounces in front of the lead reindeer.

“Sweet!” Shane says. “Its so cute and imagine it. All the babes would want a guy with a pet reindeer.”

Both of the boys reach for the reindeer in front of them. He looks at them with fear and uncertainty. But he jumps up, standing only on his hind legs. Showing off his antlers, he roars in a frightening way.

Both Shane and Colton fall onto the floor screaming in a high pitch tone. They hold each other in fear as they close their eyes.

“What are you doing boy!” They hear as a warm hand touches their heads.

They quickly slam their eyes open to find a police officer standing with them on an empty roof.

They look at each other with their terrified expression, before bursting out laughing.

“Have you been drinking tonight boys?” The cop says as he yanks Colt off the ground.

The three of them get off of the roof and the police checks Shane and Colt’s eyes to find them dilated and red.

He puts the boys in the back of his squad car to take them home. Fortunately he let them off with a warning.

Colton looked at Shane confused before whispering, “Dude… Are we that high? Did that really happen?”

Shane shrugs, he was just as confused as Colton. He drops off colt and talks to his parents. He does the same with Shane.

The next morning, Christmas morning, Shane along with his little sister open presents.

But before the presents he looks in his stalking to find a note that said the following.

Dear Shane,

The next time anything like that is to happen, I’ll let the reindeer finish what he had started. Then maybe next time Christmas comes around you’ll be at home all snug in your bed instead of getting into trouble. Well… Besides the little incident of last night you have been pretty well behaved.

But note one more thing, what you and Colton were talking about before you interrupted my rout. You remember don’t you, about Holly and taking her virginity. Don’t even get the idea; she is a very classy young girl.

But have a very Merry Christmas!

Sincerely

Saint Nicholas

Shane smiled as he ran his fingers thru his hair.

“Thanks Big Guy.”