WonderLand

“Well, fudge.” I said, not cussing with the ease of someone who has realized that there wasn't a word in existence that could adequately describe the situation at hand.

The Cat was gone, Gryphon was still semi-conscious at my feet, and I could clearly hear the people in the forest closing in. The way I saw it, I only had about two choices. A) I could make a break for it. Just pick a direction and run, and hope I eventually stumbled my way to the Chess Board, which would mean leaving Gryphon at the mercy of who ever was coming; or B) find somewhere to stash the body, hide, and pray they didn't find me.

Despite my rather rocky relationship with the Gryphon, there were obvious moral implications with the first option, so it looked like I didn't really have much of a choice after all. That being decided, I grabbed Gryphon by his ankles and, in a struggling, gasping effort, started dragging him out of sight. I had only just stuffed his limp body under the cover of a bush when two men stepped out of the shadows of the forest.

The two men were as different from one another as it was possible to be. The one on the right was massive, over six feet tall and so immensely fat I was surprised he was able to squeeze himself in the brown suit he wore. He has a huge walrus mustache, underneath which a fat brown cigar puffed noxious fumes into the air. His watery eyes were small, piggy, and coldly bright.

The man to his left was tall as well, only he wasn't fat--far from it. His bare arms were toned and bulging with muscles, and his eyes were deep set in his wide, heavy brow, which looked as if he could use it to knock down brick walls if he had a mind to. From his waist hung a tool belt, which, I noticed upon my second glance, was full of tools that looked less like they were used to build houses and more like they were used to hurt people.

I swallowed, suddenly wishing I'd chosen to run for it instead.

The fat man's gaze slid over to me, and he flashed me tight, brown flecked grin.

"Hello," He said, his voice thick and wet, "You'll be the little Alice girl that is causing so much trouble, I suppose."

"Who, me?" I replied, innocently.

"Mmm, who else?" He rumbled, puffing the fumes from the cigar.

"Well, I hardly know sir, but I assure you, I'm definitely not Alice." I clasped my hands behind my back, and tried to decide which direction I should start running.

"Well," The fat man purred, playing along, "If you aren't Alice, then who are you? Not many young ladies spend their time wandering all alone in the Forest, after all."

"My name is Janet," I lied smoothly. "My um... pig baby ran away, I'm trying to find it."

"Hardly likely," The man said in his slow, languid voice, his smile growing wider now. "Everyone knows Pig Babies don't run away, they run over. I think you are Alice, and I also think that you had better not argue. The Carpenter here and myself have been sent by the Queen to collect you, and since neither of us wish to be loosing our heads, we are going to do so."

"But..." I floundered, trying to think of a way to talk myself out of this mess, "But, if... if I'm not really Alice, then you've brought the Queen the wrong girlk and she'll be furious and behead you anyways! Are you really willing to risk that?"

"Yes." The man grinned.

"Oh." I squeaked. In the bush beside me, Gryphon gave a low groan, coming to. I coughed loudly and unconvincingly to cover up the noise, and tried to surreptitiously kick him in the head. Neither men seemed to notice--or, rather, they simply didn't care.

I took a tiny step backwards, preparing to make a break for it. It wouldn't do anyone any good for them to discover Gryphon, since I doubted he could take them, especially after being knocked out, and I didn't want anyone to get hurt on my account. Or more hurt than they had already been, anyways. But even as I took that tentative half step, the Carpenter's hand reached down towards his tool belt, and started to withdraw a murderous looking hammer, whose flat head was easily the size of my closed fist. I stopped abruptly.

"I suppose trying to run would be a bad idea," I said, licking my lips nervously, looking from the weapon to the mens' cold expressions.

"I suppose it would be," The fat man replied.

I did it anyways.

I only got about ten feet before I was suddenly barreled into the ground by the Carpenter's full weight, feeling all the air in my lungs being forced out of my body as he landed elbow first on the middle of my back.

While I gasped for air like a fish out of water, he stood up and hauled me into the air, slinging me over his shoulder like a sack of limp potatoes.

"Very good, Carpenter. Though I certainly hope you haven't damaged her too much," the fat man chided lightly, not really sounding all that worried, "I'm sure the Queen would like to be in charge of handling that herself." The Carpenter only grunted, and tightened his grip on my waist. "Come now, friend. Let us deliver our little present as soon as possible. I'm feeling a tad peckish, perhaps we should stop somewhere to have a bite after all this nonsense is over with. I'm thinking oysters, how about you?"

The two men started walking through the forest, and all I could do was try to breath and watch the bush where Gryphon lay half-conscious, hoping he wouldn't beat himself up too much when he woke up and found me gone.

♥ ♥ ♥

Twenty minutes later, and while we were still wandering seemingly aimlessly in the thick, endless forest, I had significantly recovered from the earlier full body tackle and was proving that by kicking, screaming, pounding my fists, and generally cussing like a sailor. My barrage of insults and beatings seemed to have absolutely no effect of the Carpenter however, and as I steadily wore myself out, I began to wonder if he was even human, or instead a Terminator or something.

"Honestly, Alice," The fat man--who I had come to learn was the Walrus, unsurprisingly--admonished, chewing on the end of his third consecutive cigar. "There really is no need for all the fuss. There is absolutely nothing you can do about your predicament. You might as well quietly accept your fate."

"My... name... isn't... Alice!" I screamed, pounding the Carpenter's broad back with my ineffective fists with every word. "I'll make you pay for this! I swear I will! Put me down this instant! You slimy, rat gutted, horse shi-"

"Carpenter, do please try to do something about her language. It's giving me a headache." The Walrus groaned. The Carpenter hoisted me off of his shoulder, holding me in an iron grip my my arms out in front of him, my feet dangling two or three feet in the air. His big, stupid face snarled menacingly at me. I kicked him in the groin with all my might. He didn't even flinch. His lips pulled back in something that might have been a mocking smile, or might have been a sign of bad indigestion. So I spit in his eye.

This time, I got a result. He blinked and reared back slightly in surprise, and just ever-so-slightly loosened his grip on my. It was enough; I'd been escaping handcuffs, ropes, and locked boxes since I was six, and with one sharp twist of my shoulders I had squirmed my way out of his grasp and fell in a heap into the dirt. Before he had a chance to grab me again, I skittered across the forest floor on my hands and knees, trying to remain a small target for the huge man, and dashed around behind the Walrus. As I went, I lashed out with my leg, kicking the fat man firmly behind the knees, sending his crashing to the ground in a blubbery mass. Fortunately, it was at that moment that the Carpenter had recovered and taken a menacing step towards me. Before he could grab me and haul me back, however, three hundred pounds of brown suit and cigar smoke collapsed on top of him, incapacitating him for a little while at least. Ah, sweet, sweet karma.

I staggered to my feet and took off running into the forest as hard and fast as I could, not paying the slightest bit of attention to where I was going except to leap over fallen tree trunks and duck low hanging branches as I went.

The dark trees were a blur as I ran, and I couldn't hear if the men were following me over the sound of my own ragged breathing and my feet pounding the forest floor. I ran, doubled back, zigzagged, and leaped behind bushes for what felt like ages, until I finally had to stop, or collapse. I stumbled to a halt, leaning doubled over against a tree trunk, trying to catch my breath as black spots swam before my eyes. When was the last time I had eaten? Or had anything to drink, for that matter? Not since the night before. I panted, and looked up at the thick canopy of leaves over head. I couldn't tell what time it was, the foliage was too thick to let even the smallest amount of light through to the darkened forest below. I didn't know where I was going, either. Well, I knew I had to get to the Chess board, but how I was supposed to do that, I had no idea. Gryphon had said that as long as I chose a direction and ran, I'd get there eventually, but I doubt he was assuming I had the Cat, an enormously fat man, and a murderous construction worker chasing me all the while.

I groaned, and rubbed my eyes. I was going insane. That was the only way to explain all this. This sort of stuff didn't happen in real life. I was crazy, hallucinating, in a coma, dreaming, or something, anything; anything that meant that this whole mess was just a figment of my imagination.
But I knew better than that. The pounding of my heart, the shortness of my breath were all too real. The hard, sharp tree back digging into my back was undeniably real. The yellow, staring eyes that had followed my progress ever since I had first stepped foot into this blasted forest and the chills they sent up my spine were definitely real. And the chill in the air, the growing darkness of the already feeble light around me told me that dying of exposure if I remained out here was a painfully real risk as well. I had to keep going.

I stood up straight, clutching at the stitch in my side, and started walking in a direction, any direction. I held my head up high, my gaze darting from dark corner to dark corner, trying to appear unafraid, and not very tasty. Nothing leapt at me from the shadows, but the presence of the animals I could feel watching me didn't diminish either.

I walked aimlessly for another age, ignoring the hunger pains and trying to fend off the feelings of hopelessness that were threatening to engulf me. I was alone now, for the first time since the Cat found me, so many days ago. I would hope that I would find my way to the Chess Board eventually, and then... well, I didn't know what then. The Gryphon and White Knight were the ones who were supposed to know what to do then, not me, and they were long gone. I couldn't even have found them if I had had a mind to. I'd just have to wander the Chess Board, whatever that was, until I stumbled across someone who could help me. I was really beginning to wish I had asked to be informed of the plan before we had set out from Hatter and Hare's.

I scowled to myself. Hatter and Hare. This was all their fault. They were the ones who had gotten me involved in this mess. They had tricked me into getting stuck in the center of their stupid war or whatever.

No, no. It wasn't their fault. It wasn't their fault at all. It was the Cat's fault. If he hadn't betrayed me to the Queen back then... maybe everything would be different.

But I doubted it.
I was too tired to be angry, too exhausted to hold a grudge or really put my heart into blaming anyone. In fact, it was probably my fault, for not jumping out of the way the moment that door opened underneath my feet back the the Magic Box in the Circus. But none of that mattered now. I was hear, and things had played out the way they had, and it was far too late for blame or regrets. Now, I just had to try to stay alive.

It was at that moment, in the middle of my musings, that I suddenly stepped out of the dense thicket of endless trees, and into what appeared to be a... garden? A massive garden, full of flowers that towered over me, ten or twelve feet high at least, roses with thorns the size of my forearm, and stems as thick around as my waist. For a moment, I couldn't tell if these flowers were simply giant, or if I had shrunk.

But that worrying thought was almost immediately driven from my mind, as it was at that moment that the flowers began to talk.