WonderLand

"...Wonderland?" I repeated, raising an eyebrow sceptically.

"With a capital 'L'." The Cheshire Cat repeated. "WonderLand."

"You mean like the Wonderland- sorry, WonderLand from that kid's book?" I asked, wondering exactly how crazy this guy really was. As if in answer, the man's mouth twitched into an even wider grin.

"Sweetheart, this is no kid's book." He purred.

A shiver ran down my spine. How menacing he made those innocent little words sound.

"Look, I've had enough trouble today, and I most definitely don't want anymore." I said, putting my hands in the air defensively before he could say anything else. "I don't even care where I am or where I'm going anymore- I'm leaving," I tried to move past the Cheshire Cat, but he snaked out a hand and grabbed me by the collar of my dress and spun me back around.

"That isn't a terribly good idea, love," He warned in a sing song voice. I wrenched my dress out of his grasp and glared fiercely at him.

"And why is that?" I asked, my eyes narrowed.

"There are a lot of nasty things out there," He said, his voice lowered and jerking a thumb towards the shadowed web of trees beyond the clearing. I snorted derisively.

"Yeah, I've heard about them. And apparently, one of them is you. So good bye, and have a nice day." I spat insincerely. Yet again, my attempt at departure was halted the the Cat.

"Me?" He asked, his eyebrow creeping skywards, as if genuinely surprised. "Who, pray tell, is spreading slander about the good name of the Cheshire Cat? Whatever they say, my dear, I can assure you it is naught but vulgar lies," He doffed his hat and placed it over his heart, the picture of innocence.

"What's that saying, he doth protest too much?" I snapped, but after appraising him for a moment, I decided to tell him about the Dodo and Bill the Lizard. I didn't figure it mattered- it wasn't like we were getting anywhere as it was. "For your information, I was warned about you and someone named the... the Jabberwocky by a guy who called himself The Dodo." I said, trying to sound dismissive, but only coming off as peeved. It's rather hard to be dignified when words like 'Jabberwocky' and 'Dodo' are coming out of your mouth.

The Cat, however, didn't seem to care how silly I sounded. In fact, the moment I mentioned the Dodo, his face went through a series of quick, unreadable expressions, until it finally settled on mildly curious. Even so, I saw how his eyes flashed.

"The Dodo, eh?" He said, ponderingly. He was still looking at me, but his mind seemed to be elsewhere.

"You know him?" I asked, suspiciously. His eyes snapped back to mine, and he flashed me a blinding grin.

"I do. And he's been trying to drag my name through the mud for as long as we've known each other. He's a foul specimen- I trust he didn't harm you in any way?" The Cheshire Cat asked, looking at me sidelong. I heaved a sigh.

"No. Not unless you count trying to kidnap me, though by now I'm beginning to think that's just the knee-jerk reaction to meeting people here." I said wearily. I received a sharp look from the Cat.

"You told them your name?" He asked, the grin that seemed plastered on his face drooping a little at the edges.

"Yeah," I replied. "Why?"

He shook his head.

"You need to stop doing that, love. Somethings need to be played very close to the vest- from now on, try not to tell everyone and their grandmother you most personal piece of information." He said with a curious expression. I wrinkled up my forehead in confusion.

"What, my name?" I asked. I remembered how the Dodo's and Bill's personalities had suddenly changed when I told them my name. I remembered how Dee and Dum had suddenly been all for spiriting me away to some unknown place. The Cat's stubborn insistence that my name was Alice, not Alex. "Is it really that important?" I asked again, though far more hesitantly. There was something going on that I didn't know about- and for some reason, it seemed to concern me.

"Doll, you have no idea," The Cat said with a sharp bark of laughter. It seemed harsh, fake; and his grin didn't reach his eyes. "Now," He said, clapping his hands together suddenly, making me jump. "We can't stand about here all day long. The Dodo was right about one thing, and I wasn't lying when I said there were plenty of nasties out in the wilderness of WonderLand. The Jabberwocky just being the nastiest, of course."

I looked at the Cat warily.

"And who is he?" I asked, not entirely sure if I wanted to know.

"Not 'he', sweets. It." The Cheshire Cat corrected. "And trust me, you don't want to know." He added, as if reading my mind. "And you hopefully never will, as long as we get going. With my luck that bloody son of a harlot will already be half way to the Queen's by now," He snorted, and despite his smile I could hear the tone of disgust in his voice.

"The Queen? What Queen? Do you mean the Dodo? And why is he going there? About me? And where are 'we' going? I don't think I'm going anywhere, not with you anyways!" I said, all at once.

"Listen, Lamb-" He began.

"And what's with all the pet names?" I demanded, interrupting him. He held up his hands defensively, his eyes glittering.

"One question at a time." He said firmly. "And tone it down. You're making me agitated."

"You're agitated?" I scoffed incredulously. But before I could get another sharp word out, he placed his hand over my mouth, silencing me.

"To answer your first question, The Queen of Hearts. She's in charge in these parts. He, yes, the Dodo, is going there about you. So yes. And we, yes, we, are going to meet some acquaintances of mine, who will be most interested in meeting you." He answered in quick succession. I pushed his hand away from my mouth.

"The same acquaintances Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Whatever were trying to take me to?" I asked, a sinking feeling growing in my gut. The man shrugged.

"You have to forgive them." He said, almost apologetically. "Their customary heavy handedness isn't necessarily their faults- they're little more than grunts, really. It was unfortunate that you had to run into them."

"But you're doing the exact same thing as them," I pointed out. "That whole kidnapping thing I mentioned. It doesn't seem like I'm being given much of a choice."

"Oh, it isn't kidnapping," The Cat assured me.

"And what makes this different?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Why, I'm just a gentleman escorting a fine Lady through the woods. It's quite respectable and proper." He winked at me.

"Oh really?" I snorted unbecomingly. "What makes you a gentleman?"

"Why, I'm wearing a hat, aren't I?" The Cat grinned inanely, as if this were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh. Of course," I deflated slightly, not entirely sure what to say to this, and not sure if anything I did say would have any effect on this strange young man. I didn't know what to do anymore.
Everyone I had met so far seemed to want a piece of me. The Cat's answers to my questions had only made me more confused, and so far my choices were either to go with this mad man, or give myself up to whatever unknown monsters lurked in the forest.
I decided to give up.

"Well, it doesn't look like I have much of a choice either way, does it?" I said, a tad hopelessly. "It's you or the Jabberwocky, right?"

"Right." The Cheshire Cat confirmed. I sighed.

"I suppose I'll settle for you then."

He gave me a decidedly sarcastic look.

"Thanks." He snorted.

"But before we go," I added quickly, as he began to reach out to take my arm, "I'd like to know more about who we're going to see. And why is everyone so interested in me? What is going on?"

The Cat groaned and cast his eyes skyward. "Again with the questions, crumpet?"

"Yes, 'again with the questions', and stop calling me that stuff. My name is Alex." I said sharply. The man cast me an amused glance.

"I'm afraid explaining everything will take some time. Loitering here is not a good idea, so why don't we get moving, and I'll do my best to make things clear. Mind you, I can't tell you everything, and I won't tell you others." He held out his arm and looked at me meaningfully. I hesitated- but what choice did I really have? I hooked my arm through his, if rather reluctantly, and he led us out of the little clearing, straight into the heart of the forest, sticking to no discernible path that I could see.

"The people we're going to see are two particularly mad fellows, by the names of Hatter and Hare." He began amiably, his crooked grin never leaving his face.

"Of course," I snorted under my breath.

"They used to run an under-the-counter tea shop business-"

"That doesn't even make sense."

"But now they devote most of their time to the efforts of the Rebellion."

"The what?" I tried to stumble to a halt, but the Cheshire Cat dragged me relentlessly on.
"Do you believe in prophecies?" He suddenly said, out of the blue.

"No." I replied bluntly. "Now about that rebellion business-"

"Why not?" The Cat pressed, in response to my no.

"I know a fortune teller." I explained hastily, remembering Jasmine, the fortune teller and all around spiritual guide at the circus back home. "I know all her tricks- none of that stuff is real. It's all made up mumbo jumbo."

The Cat tapped the tip of my nose good naturedly, in a fashion that somehow managed to grate on my every nerve.

"Well, whether you believe in it or not, there is a prophecy, hundreds of years old, and it tells of someone from the outside showing up in WonderLand." He continued. "And that someone is destined to bring down the whole house of cards, so to speak. WonderLand will fall." He went quiet then, his smile flickering slightly.

"Someone named Alice?" I asked, after a moment of bemused contemplation.

"Someone named Alice." He affirmed, snapping out of it.

"Well, my name is Alex, so you've got the wrong girl." I said firmly. I tried to slip my arm out from his, but found it quite impossible to do so.

"Small discrepancy." He shrugged.

"Small? It's a completely different name, that seems pretty important to me!" I insisted, pushing against him with all my might in an attempt to twist my way free.
He barely seemed to notice, and continued to drag me along through the undergrowth with no effort at all.

"You've barely been here for a few hours, and already all of WonderLand is in an uproar. Can't you feel it?" He asked, waving his free hand around at the eerily silent forest. I felt nothing, and told his as much in volume using rather vulgar vocabulary.

"Besides, it isn't up to me to decide. I'm just a flunkie, aren't I?" He added, ignoring my foul mouth and looking down at me, his grin widening slightly, his oddly pointed teeth flashing very white. "Now come along, and do stop struggling. We don't want to keep the Mad Hatter and the March Hare waiting."