I Want To Be Who You Pretend You Are

“Morning,” came a soft whisper in my ear.

“Morning Mikey,” I replied, feeling his weight, or lack of really, leave my side.

I wanted to tell him to lye back there again, that it was comforting but I stayed curled up by myself, watching him out the corner of my eye.

“Are you coming down to breakfast, wiL?” Mikey asked climbing back onto the bed.

I really didn’t want to. I didn’t want to sit there at the table with everyone staring at me. But before I could protest he grabbed my arm. I cringed at the pain from the multiple cuts. His eyes grew wide, even behind the thick lenses of his glasses and he dropped my arm instantly.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, his eyes instantly diverting to the ground.

“It’s nothing,” I replied softly.

He scrambled onto the bed beside me.

He then picked up my arm, lightly. I tried to wrestle it out of his grasp but that only made the pain worse. His gasp cut like a razor when he pushed up my sleeve. I don’t know what hurt more, the pain in my arm, or his expression. He knew the cuts weren’t an accident, I could tell by his face.

“wiL, I...” Mikey knew there was nothing he could say. He sat in silence, staring at me with his sorrowful eyes.

I shrugged, and stared at the bedspread, not sure what else to do. I glanced up when I felt someone’s arms wrap around my waist, it was Mikey. I could fear the tears coming, I swallowed my breath, trying to stop myself.

Don’t cry. If you cry you’re just proving what a pathetic person you really are. You’re weak, everyone wishes you would just fucking die already.

I couldn’t help it, a tear slid slowly down my face, landing on Mikey’s arm. He just pulled me closer to him, head resting on my shoulder.

“Mikey?” Gerard’s voice rang out sounding somewhere between pissed off and shocked.

I looked up quickly to see Gerard standing in Mikey’s doorway just staring at me.

“Gerard,” Mikey’s darkened voice made me shiver.

Gerard gave Mikey a look to kill an army in the blink of an eye, spun on his heel and left.

“I’m sorry,” I said, but Mikey shrugged it off.

“He’s an asshole,” he replied.

“I should...” I started but then couldn’t think of something to finish the sentence with.

“Yeah...totally,” Mikey coughed, letting his spindly arms fall away from me.

I desperately wanted them back around me but I didn’t dare tell him that. Besides, I didn’t want to get too attached to him, once he found out what I was really like he’d hate me like everyone else.

[The Next Day...and wiLs home]

“School, honey” my mom called.

Normally, I would’ve groaned and complained but I was actually relatively psyched...not because it was school but because I got to see Mikey again. I felt awkward going to his house so I hadn’t seen him since Saturday. Not to say I missed him, cause I’d only known him for a couple of days but...

Wandering through the massive school I search for Mikey, I was so key on finding Mikey I didn’t even notice when I ran right into someone. I fell on my ass and glanced up slowly, hoping it wasn’t a jock that was gonna beat me up.

“Well, if it isn’t William,” rang a taunting voice. Shit, it was worse than running into a jock, I’d run into Gerard.

“Uh, it’s wiL...” I said, god only knows why, it’s not like he cared.

“William, I’d like to have a chat with you,” he sneered, “that is, if you don’t mind”

I nodded stupidly, following him, like a lost puppy, out to behind the school.

“William darling,” Gerard started, leaning against the brick building, cigarette in hand.

As much as I tried not to, I couldn’t help but notice how good-looking he was. His hazel eyes locked on me, pale skin contrasting perfectly with his black hair, the way his rose pink lips spoke my name.

“Now, dear, here it is plain and simple. You intrigue me, I must say” his words came so smoothly, like a hypnotist, and so classy like something from Pride & Prejudice.

“I intrigue you?” I asked, wondering what he was up to as he stepped towards me.

“Mhm, tell me, William...” he smirked, tracing my jaw line with his finger, “You and Mikey, that’s…?”

He trailed off leaving me to fill in the blanks.

“N-nothing, I don’t know” I replied, in a state of shock and confusion.

“Mhm,” he nodded with a smile, leaning forward and kissing me. He kept his hand cupping my face and used his thumb to smear my lipstick up my face, “Now there’s a good boy, William”

When he stepped away from me I noticed Mikey standing at the gates, hands hanging like useless objects by his sides, eyes locked on me.