Christmas Confessions

“Matt… Matt… Matt…”

Matthew Bellamy mumbled something unintelligible and turned over, burying his head in his pillow.

“Matt, I know you’re awake. Stop ignoring me.”

He moaned, clutching the pillow tighter. He could feel hands trying to tug it away from him and tried to hold on, but his desperately scrabbling fingers were no match for their defiant strength. The pillow was tugged away from him and he was flipped over like a ragdoll, so he was looking up into the eyes of none other than Dominic Howard, his so-called best friend.

"Thanks a lot," Matt grumbled. "I was trying to sleep."

Dom rolled his eyes. "Come on, Scrooge. It's Christmas. Everyone else is already up. They're having a snowball fight in the grounds."

Rubbing away the sleep in his eyes, Matt threw off the covers and plodded over to the window, wiping at the misted-up glass to squint out. Sure enough, half of Hogwarts was outside, enchanted snowballs whizzing around everywhere.

Dom chuckled. "The twins'll be sad they missed this."

"Why would they?" Matt retorted. "They've got their family. They're probably having tons more fun at The Burrow."

Sullenly, he plopped down on his bed, staring moodily at the floor. Dom winced.

"Look, Matt," he said softly, "I know it's hard for you, what with your parents-"

"Disowning me the second they realised I was a wizard like my barmy old granddad?" Matt said bitterly.

Dom sat down next to him, patting him awkwardly on the shoulder. "You could've gone to your aunt's for Christmas instead of staying at Hogwarts."

Matt had lived with his aunt for five and a half years. She was a squib, and was more than sympathetic when his parents chucked him out on the street with nothing but the clothes on his back and his Hogwarts acceptance letter in his hand.

"She doesn't want a moody teenager on her hands at Christmas," he mumbled, shrugging off Dom's hand.

He sat there, helpless, wishing there was something he could do or say to smooth out the pained look on his best friend's face. It was killing him.

"You've got me," he said quietly.

"Yeah, and I'm so grateful you decided to take pity on me and stay at Hogwarts with me," Matt said acidly. "Thank you so much, Dom. You’re such a good friend. I don’t know what I’d do without you."

Dom flinched at the venom in his voice and got up, trying not to show how hurt he was. "Fine. If that's how you feel," he whispered, before striding out of the dormitory, slamming the door behind him.

Matt flinched. Cradling his head in his hands, he stared at the floor, hating himself.

***

"He's a malicious, infuriating, egotistical twat," Dom complained, glaring at the first years chasing each other around in front of him. "I don't even know why I'm still friends with him."

Elcee rolled her eyes, leaning her head on his shoulder. "Maybe because you've been thick as thieves since our first year?" She nudged him slightly, smirking. "Or maybe because you fancy the pants off him?"

He shoved her back. "I do not!" he said hotly, but his face was beetroot.

"Aw, you're blushing!" she crowed. "I knew you liked him. This is too cute for words."

"Shut up," he muttered. "I am not in love with Matt. I don't even like him."

"Whatever you say, Dom," she said with as serious a face as she could manage while holding back her giggles. "Whatever you say."

***

Matt crossed the room to the window and peered out. He could just about make out Dom and Elcee sitting in front of the lake. He couldn't help but notice they were sitting very close together, and looked very intimate. A pang of jealousy shot through him and he scowled, turning away.

He caught sight of the pile of presents at the end of his bed and halted. A little uncertainly, he approached them. It wasn't a particularly large pile. Unlike Dom, he didn't make friends very easily. His sharp tongue and inability to think before he spoke took care of that.

Dom, Elcee and the twins were the only ones he hadn't managed to scare away, but he was well on the way to do just that with Dom. He already regretted his harsh words, but there was nothing he could do about it. Matt never apologised. Ever.

With a sigh, he picked up the present on top of the pile.

"Dear Matt," he read, peering at one - or both - of the twin's messy scrawl, "merry Christmas, karaoke-boy. Get some pranks planned for when we get back in the New Year, got it? Signed, Gred and Forge."

He chuckled. They'd started calling him karaoke-boy the first time they heard him singing, and the nickname had stuck.

Tearing into the wrapping, he pulled out the present, the air thick with anticipation. But a frown settled on his face as he realised what it was.

A claret and blue jumper, knitted by the one and only Mrs. Weasley. On the front was a crude image of a microphone.

"The cheeky little sods," he muttered, tossing the jumper aside with an amused smile.

He moved onto the next present, a couple of CDs of one of his favourite muggle rock bands.

"Thanks Elcee," he murmured. He'd been after them for ages, but he couldn't recall mentioning it to her.

The last present was from Dom. He hesitated before opening it, but then he decided to just get it over with. He slit the careful, neat wrapping with his nail, and then slowly slid the box out. It was just a plain cardboard box. Matt frowned, bringing it to his ear to shake. Something connected with the side with a dull thunk and he put the box down, satisfied. Biting his lip with anticipation, he slit open the box and lifted up the flaps to behold the contents.

He breathed in sharply, his eyes as wide as the lake. Inside were two carved figurines: one of him and one of Dom. The detail was stunning; he could see every freckle on Dom's face, every line from his own trademark scowl. The painting was equally incredible, the colours of the clothes and the hair perfect. It must have taken Dom ages to make, Matt realised.

Cradling the figures in his rough hands, he stared at them, the full impact of what he'd said to Dom finally sinking in. Guilt stabbing at his chest, he remembered every harsh word he'd ever sad to him, every time he'd rejected his kindness when he didn't deserve the friendship Dom was offering.

"Oh Matt," he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "You pillock. You bloody stupid pillock."

***

Matt trudged through the knee-deep snow, shielding his eyes from the blinding sun as he approached Elcee and Dom. They didn't notice him until the very last moment; the snow cushioned his footfalls, making him invisible to their ears.

"Hi," Matt said softly, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Hi," Dom replied stiffly, without looking up.

Elcee looked between the two of them and sighed, getting to her feet. "I'll leave you two alone then, shall I?"

She flashed Matt a supportive smile as she left. He smiled weakly back, before walking up to Dom.

"Mind if I sit here?" he asked politely, indicating the space Elcee had just vacated.

"Not at all," Dom replied icily. "Why should I mind?"

Matt winced, and sat down. "I'm sorry, Dom."

"So you should be."

"I shouldn't have said those things."

"No, you shouldn't have."

They lapsed into silence. Neither of them knew what to say next. From her hiding place a few feet way, Elcee rolled her eyes. They were never going to sort this out without a little help. Rummaging in the pockets of her jeans, she slid out her wand and muttered a few words.

"Dom, I think I love you," Matt blurted out suddenly.

Dom's mouth dropped open. "Sorry, what?"

Matt clapped a hand over his mouth, but the words kept coming. "Uh huh hushing hoo huh hay huh huh hi hou-"

Dom prised his hands away from his mouth. "Come again?"

"I was pushing you away because I was scared," he repeated, hardly believing the words were coming out of his mouth. "I was scared of losing you like I've lost everyone else. I guess I did anyway. Me and my big mouth."

Dom was still stunned. He tried to formulate a reply, but the words wouldn't come.

Matt wanted to run away and hide and never see the other boy again but his legs wouldn't obey him. Though he was dying of embarrassment, his mouth kept working. "I opened your Christmas present," he continued. "Mine pales in comparison. How long did it take you to make?"

"Couple of weeks," Dom admitted.

"Wow. Because it's just amazing. Beautiful. You got me right on. It's probably the best present I've ever gotten."

Dom blushed a little. "Thanks." He gave Matt a sidelong glance. "So you... love me?"

"Well yeah," he replied uncomfortably. "I mean, I'll totally understand if you don't feel the same, I mean it's completely understandable. I know you probably just see me as your friend and probably not even that because I'm a pretty crappy friend and you could do so much better and you're probably with Elcee by no-"

Elcee cringed, and flicked her wrist again. This time, Matt's mouth closed, shutting off his babbling, much to his relief. Dom sat in silence, mulling over what Matt had just told him.

"Tell him, Dom," she muttered. "Tell him already before I knock your heads together to get some sense into them."

Almost as if he'd heard her, Dom lifted his head and looked directly into Matt's eyes. "I'm not interested in Elcee," he informed him quietly. "Or anyone else for that matter."

"Oh?" Matt said, hardly daring to suspect.

"Yeah." Dom took a deep breath, staring at his lap for a few seconds before glancing back up. "Because I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember, you daft ape."

It was Matt's turn to be shocked. "Really?"

"Matt, you're stupid, selfish and the single-most irritating person I've ever met," Dom said bluntly. "But you're also the best friend I have ever and will ever have. I love you, Matt."

"I love you too," Matt replied, his voice husky.

Elcee punched the air in silent triumph. "Do you think you could kiss now?" she whispered.

Almost as if on cue, Matt leaned over, tilting Dom's face to his so their lips were mere millimetres apart.

Elcee turned away as they started kissing to give them some semblance of privacy, a smirk upon her lips.

"My work here is done," she announced triumphantly, to no one in particular. "And all it took was a simple inhibitor-removal charm. I should have done this years ago."

Whistling to herself, she headed back to the castle as the snow started to fall again. As she reached the entrance, she turned to where Dom and Matt were. She was so far away their bodies looked merged together, and she couldn't tell where one ended and the other began.

"Merry Christmas," she whispered, smiling, before slipping into the castle, closing the doors behind her.