Lovefool

A knock at the door interrupted my concentration. I was reading The Art of War for approximately the thirty fourth time.

“Come in,” I called, turning a page idly.

My dad opened the door and cleared his throat. I marked the page and put the book aside. “There’s a boy at the door…for you,” he said, clearly feeling uncomfortable.

My eyebrows knit together. A boy? “Who is it?”

“Finn? Hudson?”

I swallowed hard. Finn Hudson was at my house. I didn’t even look remotely decent. I took a breath and nodded. “Okay,” I said, getting up and walking to the front door.

“Hey Finn,” I said, opening the door, a smile on my face.

“Hey Kurt. Can I talk to you?”

“Uh…sure. Come on in.”

I led him up to my room, wondering why the hell he came to me, not Puck or Quinn or Rachel.

“Kurt,” my dad said as we passed him. I turned. “Keep the door open.”

My face turned red. “No, dad, it’s not like that!” I protested.

He gave me a look that told me that he didn’t care.

“What’s up?” I asked Finn as we entered my room. I sat on my bed and looked up at him. Bad idea. He was incredibly tall.

He fidgeted for a moment or two. I sighed. “Sit down. I won’t bite.”

He sat down at my desk. “I’m really confused.”

“About what?”

“I think I’m bisexual…”

“And what makes you say that?”

“Well, ever since I broke up with Quinn, I realized something. Girls lie to you, deceive you, cover up colossally huge things, like who the real father of their child is.”

“And guys?”

“They’re brutally honest. They don’t keep secrets. They don’t play mind games.”

“Finn, I really don’t think you’re bisexual. I think you’re confused.”

“No Kurt. I’m not. Because instead of thinking of making out with girls, like I usually do, I think of doing it with boys. Actually, one boy. You.”

I laughed nervously. What do you do when the straight boy you have a crush on says that he thinks he’s bisexual and dreams of making out with you? It’s too good to be true.

“Trust me, Finn, you’re not bi. Even if you were, it would never work out between us. You’re the quarterback of the football team and I’m the gay kid in Glee club. Plus, you care too much what people think.” I would KILL myself later.

“What can I do to prove it to you?”

“You can’t. I think you should go. I’ll see you in Glee tomorrow.”

“I will prove it to you,” he said before leaving, a steely look in his eye.

After I heard the front door close, I groaned. This could not end well.

The next day, before math, Tina ran up to me. “Did you hear? Finn is telling everyone he’s bisexual!”

My eyes widened. “Oh my God. Is he trying to commit social suicide?”

Tina shrugged.

“He thinks he’s tough and can handle it. He can’t, he’s only gotten slushied. He’s never been tossed into a dumpster or flipped in a port-o-sans!”

“I know, I know! We’ll talk sense into him at Glee.”

I walked into Glee with Mercedes a few hours later, just in time to hear Finn say, “It’s just like being straight except I like dudes too.”

“Yeah, and you’re a fag!” Puck laughed. “Dude, coach is going to kick you off the team. No guy wants a queer looking at us when we’re in the showers.”

“I don’t like any guy on the team that way, though.”

I walked angrily over to Finn. “Finn, can we talk?” I asked snappishly.

“Uh, sure.”

Puck started laughing again. “Is Kurt your boyfriend?”

“No!”

“Whatever,” Puck said, walking away and smirking to himself.

“Look, Finn, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but you can’t just decide that you’re bi.”

“But I am!” he said, looking wounded.

“My dad knew I was gay when I was three. I was born that way. You acted straight from the day you were born until yesterday, when you decided that you were sick of girls and wanted to give boys a try.”

“But…”

“People are going to assume that we’re going out and I’ll be bullied more than ever! If you like me, as a friend, as a crush, as a classmate, whatever, you’ll stop,” I said, before rejoining Mercedes.

“I think you might’ve been a little harsh,” Mercedes said. Finn was looking a little dumbstruck.

“I needed to get a point through his thick head,” I said simply.

We were rehearsing songs for regionals and, as fate would have it, today Mr. Schue introduced a new possibility: Lovefool by The Cardigans. Fate also decided that we would sing the male oriented New Found Glory cover, so Finn got the lead, of course.

It was really awkward to hear Finn singing Lately I have desperately pondered/Spent my nights awake an I wonder/What I could have done in another way/To make you stay in the light of what had just happened. He was looking at me and I shifted uncomfortably.

For the first time, I was happy when Glee ended. I bolted out of the room and to my next class.

That night, I was talking on the phone with Mercedes.

“What am I supposed to do?” I asked, panicked.

“Give him a chance.”

“What?! Mercedes, are you out of your mind?”

“No. He obviously likes you, and I know you like him. Give him a chance, and if he hurts you, he has to answer to me and Tina.”

“Mercedes, I can’t.”

“Fine. You will just live the rest of your life thinking about this perfect boy that you had a crush on and who liked you, but you were never brave enough to go out with. It will eat you up inside as you become fat, stay single, and end up owning seventeen cats. You will-”

“Okay, okay, I get it. Fine, I’ll give him a chance.”

The next day, I walked up to Finn in Glee. “Finn, I was thinking about it, and I’ve decided that I’m okay with your bisexuality. I can’t tell people that they can’t be gay or bi or whatever. I’m really sorry for the way I acted. Forgive me?”

Finn smiled. “Yeah, it’s okay. Hey, you want to see a movie this Friday? Oh, um, but it’s totally as friends. That is, if you want. It doesn’t have to be as friends if you don’t want it to be-”

“Finn,” I cut him off, “Are you asking me out?”

“Yeah…”

I smiled. “Then I’d love to go with the movies with you. I’ll pick you up around seven, okay.”

He smiled in relief. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

I remained calm on the outside, but inside I was dancing. I was going on a date with Finn!