Quiet Boys.

Awkward Ivan was a funny little drunk.
Even more awkward than usual, and he was very serious, but it was humorous because he was just trying so hard to be so serious. He reminded me of a grandfather clock, pendulum moving from side to side, back and forth, just swaying in time.
I let out lots of laughs, feeling around the ground with my feet, trying to keep balance myself.
And then Ivan fell onto me.
We both tumbled back into the fort of sheets and he looked around like he had no idea where he was.
Then he let out a loud chuckle.
Reminding me then of Santa Clause.
I hushed him, but laughed myself.
“What happened!?” Ivan asked me, wide eyed.
“We fell.”
“We fell fuckin’ hard.”
I let out howls of laughter and didn’t stop. Ivan was silent for a few moments then joined in, and I knew he didn’t know why we were laughing because I didn’t really either.
Not very long after we fell asleep laying on each other in some strange state.

________

“Fucking hell,” I heard from the side of me. Ivan sat up, which caused one of the blankets from our fort to topple over into a heap.
“You okay?”
“Head ache. But, um. It’s fine.” He sounded very tired, but he still smiled at me in his exhaustion and pain. I smiled back just because it was involuntary. His smile made my face light up.

________

When I woke up my head hurt like hell.
But the light voice that I heard, it made me feel so much better.
“You okay?” Parker asked me, a dazed look on her face. She really was quite pretty wasn’t she?
I didn’t like admitting such things to myself. I liked her much more than should have been possible for knowing her for a month. She was my closest friend, and she made me have these little adventures, even if they weren’t that big of a deal. I didn’t do anything, and she made me do something, and for that simple fact I would have been stupid if I had not loved her.
“Head ache. But, um. It’s fine,” I replied. My voice was thick with sleep, more so than I had originally thought. I gave her a smile though, to show I really was perfectly fine. She smiled back, and when I saw that smile, it really was all I needed.
And she had kissed me last night.
Or I had kissed her.
Two times that had happened.
And it was so new to me that it almost felt strange.
And they were such little things but they meant so much.
They were simple, and little. Just small pleasures.
The simple pleasures are what counts, most of the time.
I slid over to her, a bit closer, and put my head on her shoulder. Something I wouldn’t have thought to do such a short time ago. She made me feel safe, and now I was vulnerable, and I didn’t know how to feel about that. Damn, I didn’t know how to feel anything at all properly.
“Ivan, what are you doing Saturday?”
“Why?” I asked, sounding very quiet. I looked to the side of me, seeing that we had drank a large portion of the bottle of wine. I wondered if I should be worried.
“Because that’s the very first day of our summer vacation. My friend Allison and I are planning a party. It’s at her house. You’ll love her very much, I promise. And I won’t let anything bad happen to you,” Parker explained, telling me slowly, making sure I was getting every syllable.
“I’m not sure. I can barely function around people in the first place,” I admitted, and I was sure she already knew that fact to be true. I was so unbelievable quiet, and I held my tongue so often. Unless, of course I was with her.
“You’d be very well protected with me. Besides, my friends aren’t so bad. We’re not so crazy and wild as you might think. Please come.”
And how could I say no?
“Alright,” I told her.
She put a hand on my head, just touching my hair and I could feel her breathing, she was so close to me. This was very nice.
“I’m in so much trouble,” I thought out loud.
“I know,” Parker said, and then she laughed.

________

“Ivan, where in God’s name have you been?” My mother screeched at me, right as soon as I walked in the house later that afternoon.
How could I possibly explain what I had been doing?
Having the greatest evening and night of my life, with a girl I’ve known for a very short time, that I held hands with. And she got me drunk off this really incredible wine. She got me drunk and we kissed. And fell asleep all twisted together and I wanted to stay like that, and mommy, dear I’m crazy probably but I’m in love and I want to tell you, but I don’t think I can just yet.
“I was out.”
“Don’t give me that. Wipe that stupid smile off your face, and get to your room. You didn’t answer any of my calls, you never told me where you’d be. I was so fucking worried! What is wrong with you? You aren’t going anywhere till the end of your God damn life if I can help it.”
Does that include Saturday?
If so I guess I’ll just have to climb out my window.