Quiet Boys.

Ivan had to go see his father for a full week. He hadn’t been around me long, but now, not having him within a mile radius felt nothing but wrong.
We didn’t even get to say goodbye properly. It may have only been seven days, but as a ratio, a week was a large portion of the time I’d known Ivan at that point. Almost two months, a week was important.
The fourth day I hadn’t seen Ivan, was a Wednesday.
I had a glass of wine in my hand, my phone in the other. I punched in the correct numbers. I was surprised he answered. It was getting quite late.
“Hi, Parker,” I heard. Instantly a smile was playing on my lips.
“Hello,” I said, and I was very quiet. I didn’t realize how many glasses I’d had.
“You sound tired,” Ivan murmured.
“Oh, it’s just the wine.”
“How much have you had?”
“I’m not really sure. Hey, Ivan.”
“Yes?”
“I miss you.”
He didn’t answer for a moment, but it didn’t make me anxious. It might have been the wine, or the fact that I already knew I didn’t have to worry.
“I miss you too. Is that normal?”
“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

________

Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.
I was vaguely aware that that was a line from an old black and white film, though I couldn’t name it. I laughed at her words. I wondered how much she’d had to drink.
“Neither do I.” It’s about time I stopped giving damns and started getting dangerous.
“Darling, do you think that when you get back on Sunday, you could come over here, and lay with me?”
Somewhere, it was now burned into my brain that she called me darling when she was drunk. One of those things that I would one day tell her I loved about her.
“That would be nice.”
“And, Ivan?”
“Yes Parker?”
“You are beautiful when the sun hits you at this one angle. I mean, you are beautiful all of the time, but when we were sitting at the picnic table a couple weeks ago, I don’t know. It was really radiant.”
I didn’t know what to say, only that I was going to act out rashly.
“Parker, are you all mine now? Am I allowed to say that?”
“Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?” Parker began. I heard her sigh. “Ivan, is that what you’re asking me? I don’t like that word really, it’s too generic and it never fit me. I don’t like the word boyfriend either. How trivial. I like how you worded it better. You knew I would like those words, didn’t you? You knew exactly how to word it,” she was whispering, on and on and on.
She was right. I had figured she wouldn’t really like those words. Just like she didn’t like the word love. So I had said it a little differently.
“I suppose you’re right. Yeah, that’s what I’m asking.”
Even though she was filled with wine, and she sounded incredibly sleepy, and even though I wasn’t there with her, I wanted to ask her just then. I didn’t know what was coming over me.
“Well, I can’t not say yes. But, oh Ivan!” Parker exclaimed, sounding a little irritated.
“What, what’s wrong?”
“You aren’t here. You aren’t here, that’s what’s wrong. You are supposed to ask me in person, so that I can grab you and kiss you.”
“Shouldn’t I be the one doing that to you?” I said, laughing a little.
She belted out a fit of giggles, and I felt so very full of something.
“I don’t care!” She shouted into the phone. “We can do it my way! And I’ll be the one grabbing you. Are you objecting?”
“Of course not. So long as you’re mine now.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
“Hey, darling?”
“Yeah?”
“See, I’m thinking I’m about to pass out, and I don’t want to hang up on you. So, can you just hurry back, okay? Okay? Okay?”
She had been whispering this whole time, so quiet and lovely. I couldn’t slow my heart beat.
“I’ll run as fast as I can.”