Quiet Boys.

I suppose I should have been a little uncomfortable about seeing Parker.
I suppose I was supposed to be nervous.
But, I couldn’t bring myself to feel that way for the first time.
And I knocked on her front door, and she flung it open.
And she looked so happy and bright.
“Hi!” She exclaimed. And she had a giant smile. I couldn’t talk. I swear I could not.
I was too happy and too ecstatic to speak. So I just smiled and touched her hair.
I think I stopped breathing too, because then she took my hand in hers and led me out to the street.
“I hope we don’t get hit by cars,” I said. She just shrugged. Then she spoke.
“So, is everything going to be perfect now?”
“What?” I didn’t understand.
“Well, we’re together now. I don’t want to think of all of the things that could go wrong. You’re the greatest, most brilliant kid I’ve met. I can’t give that up now. I guess what I’m saying is, I’d fight for you if it came down to it. Just saying,” Parker said. I didn’t know how to respond. It meant a lot somehow. It meant a lot because it was coming from her.
“Nothing is going to go wrong. I can tell,” was all I could think to say.
“I don’t think so either. We’re both too calm all the time to fight about anything. I like you too much to hurt you. Fuck, I like your mother too much to hurt you. We’ll have a lovely time. Plus I mean, there’s so much we need to do, that you have to belong to me at all times now. I hope think that you might think I’m crazy.”
“You aren’t crazy. You’re honest. You say everything that all the normal boring people are too afraid to say. Because everyone feels the same, they just don’t know how to let it out properly.”
“You are correct Ivan. I’m glad you see that. It’s good to have someone to understand everything you say. You catch my drift, I appreciate that.

“A soul mate is just someone else who catches your drift. Who gets you in every way possible. That’s why I’m not looking. I think you just stumble upon people like that.”

And all I could think were those words she had once told me.

“Are you trying to tell me something?” I asked, a little hesitant, but not really. I was allowed to be myself now.
“I don’t know. What do you think?”
“I think maybe. But I can’t be sure. I’d like to be sure, but I can’t be sure.”
“Sure, you could be sure,” she started, then I laughed a little. “Just think about it.”

We walked in silence for a little while, until Parker stopped in the middle of the road. She then proceeded to walk to the sidewalk. And then she took off running.
I didn’t yell after her, but I bolted after her. I couldn’t imagine why she was running, but she did lots of things that didn’t make sense until she was through with them. When I got closer, I noticed for the first time she wasn’t wearing shoes. And she was running so fast, but I kept up. After a few minutes she stopped, and turned around to look at me. She was laughing and smiling and couldn’t have been happier.
“What was that for?” I asked, but it was difficult. I was out of breathe.
“I just remembered I love running barefoot on the pavement,” was all she said. She laughed at me a little bit, I was breathing like I had run four miles.
“I should make a list of all the things I love,” she said. I knew she would too, she wouldn’t waste anytime in doing so.
And I wanted to ask a certain question, but I couldn’t gather up the courage to.

Will I be on that list?